It is early evening on Sunday. I, generally, try to write my blog post in the morning. However, with my Dad in the hospital, I visited with Mom, stayed quite awhile, and came home late this afternoon.
I have been dealing with several issues lately and will throw them out to you for discussion if I may. My belief in death is that we all go to God when it’s done. I have never been big on judgement and punishment; I know that statement will bother a lot of church-goers; I apologize. I am not trying to offend, just explain.
Dad doesn’t like to show worry, but I believe he is. I am. I am not worried for anything except his physical body, the deep emotions he would leave behind, and the problems with him being gone.
My faith in God watching over us (over him) and bringing all things together for good, does not leave death out of the picture. I understand that. I also understand it is not always better for someone to continue living. I don’t believe this is Dad’s case at all. He has many years left in him and he doesn’t want to die. My dilemma is simply the pain of leaving behind people who have issues.
I know it’s not my place to worry about everyone and I don’t really. But, I have just been trying to work and word the idea of “everything works together for good” and the idea of death. How do we talk with people about this and still sound compassionate? I am sorry, but “he’s in a better place now,” just doesn’t cut it well with me. Nor does “you know, he lived his whole life preparing to leave and be with God.”
Perhaps, that makes me selfish, but, if so, it does most of the population of the world, I think. Opinion?
Namaste,
Scott
Kindredspirit23's Blog 
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It is never easy to lose a loved one and I’m not sure there is a compassionate “statement” that can be given to anyone that would alleviate the pain and loss they are feeling. However, one of the best ways that we can help those who are struggling with death and grief is to be there for them…in ways they know and ways they don’t. Fix a meal for the family and drop it off. Send flowers or a card to show that you are thinking about them. Pray for them. Be there to hold them when they just need to cry and release all the pain. It is not in what we say, but what we do that matters. Our actions are what builds those relationships with the ones left behind after the death of a loved one. And though we miss the one we’ve lost…we draw closer to our friends and families during those difficult times.
I think a lot of time is wasted by many many people in many different situations with “empty” words simply because people lack the courage and fortitude to be a real friend and stand by someone who is suffering greatly and help them “shoulder” the burden. This applies to any situation, by the way…and difficulty and any time of blessing. It is our willingness to stand with our friends and families in both times and share in their grief and in their blessings that makes us stronger.
I do believe that I will go to a better place and that Jesus is preparing a place for me. And I pray that my loved ones will celebrate my passing by celebrating my life and all that I’ve accomplished and the relationships and memories that I shared. I will encourage you to do the same. Celebrate the life of the one you’ve lost. Make a scrapbook of memories to honor them. Allow the grief to come because you miss them, but celebrate who they are and how they’ve impacted your life. In this, you will find release of pain and peace will rain in its place.
I hope this helps and know that you are in my prayers always. God bless!
Dayna (You’re fabulous niece 😉 haha)
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The name surprised me. I haven’t seen or talked to you in such a long time.
You have grown into such a wonderful young woman; I am so glad of that.
Of course, you are right. I knew all of what you said, but oh my, how you said it!
Thank you so much. It did me good, but I believe that by my asking the question, your reply was put to paper and sent out into the world for all to see, especially the one(s) who really need(ed) it.
I guess, in a way, Dad’s problems making me worry, led to the post, and that into your reply.
The chain of God working it’s miracles through even some of the worst things we can imagine.
That’s the God I believe in.
Namaste,
(Uncle) Scott – by the way, thanks for still thinking of me as an uncle; does me proud.
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BEING A CHRISTIAN I CAN ONLY GIVE THE BIBLICAL PRINCIPALS OF LEAVING THIS WORLD INTO THE NEXT. I TRULY BELIEVE WHAT THE BIBLE HAS TO SAY ABOUT DEATH BECAUSE THERE HAS NEVER BEEN ANY OTHER BOOK WRITTEN BY OVER 30 PEOPLE IN 15 DIFFERENT COUNTRIES THAT HAS COME TOGETHER IN TRUTH UNLESS IT IS AND HAS TO BE THE INSPIRED WORD OF GOD! THROUGH THE YEARS MANY PEOPLE OF GREAT MINDS HAVE TRIED TO REPUTE THE WRITTEN WORDS OF THE BIBLE AND HAVE NOT EVEN COME CLOSE! IN A WAY YOU ARE RIGHT WHEN YOU SAY EVERYONE GOES BACK TO GOD BECAUSE GOD HAS THE FINAL DECISION OF YOUR ETERNAL DESTINY! GOD MADE MAN TO DWELL WITH AND EXPECTED THEM TO NEVER DIE! BUT GOD MADE MAN WITH A FREE WILL JUST AS HE MADE EVERY ANGEL IN HEAVEN WITH A FREE WILL. THIS FREE WILL WAS GIVEN BECAUSE IF HE HAD NOT DONE THIS IT WOULD HAVE BEEN JUST LIKE A SOCIALISTIC GOVERNMENT! LOVE ME AND FOLLOW ME OR ILL GET RID OF YOU!! THEREFORE MAN LIKE THE ANGELS IN HEAVEN FELL FROM THEIR OWN GRACE AND WAS GIVEN THE PUNISHMENT OF DEATH. WE HAVE THE FREE WILL TO EITHER FOLLOW HIS WORD AND LIVE IN ETERNITY WITH HIM OR LIVE IN ETERNITY WITHOUT HIM. GOD IS A LOVING GOD AND LIKE I SAID HE MADE MAN WITH A ETERNAL SOUL TO DWELL WITH HIM BUT OUR OWN FREE WILL GIVES US THE CHOICE AS TO WHERE WE WANT TO SPEND ETERNITY! THIS IS WHAT I TRULY BELIEVE AS A CHRISTIAN. GOD HAS GIVEN FROM ADAM TO THE LAST PERSON HERE ON EARTH THEIR FREE WILL TO CHOOSE!! I CHOOSE TO FOLLOW THE BIBLICAL PRINCIPALS AND AT THE WORST IF I DIE AND FIND OUT IM WRONG IM NOT THE WORSE FOR IT!!
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Thanks, Bob, for giving another opinion on this topic. Also, thank you very much for saying it without forcing it down anyone’s throat. The object here is to give voice to all opinions and you did that well. For your own benefit, when you write something online, if you use all CAPS it gives the impression that you are yelling and angry. I think I know you well enough to know that isn’t the case, so, just letting you know. Anyway, thanks for the comment.
Scott
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Maybe you just say he is /was really important to me and my family, his friends, and collegues. We love him and and remember all the good times we (have/had) together. But like everything he couldn’t (can’t?) stay around forever -we wish he could and want him to stay around but that is just the way it is (and i’m just being practical here – but that really is just the way it is :(), however; he is with God now. He lived a life of faith and died with that same belief. We will miss him very much and hope you (everyone else) can find comfort in the fact that he lead/leads a meaningful life and because of his faith is alive even now in God.
Does that help at all? :p
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I am not quite as used to replies as posts and did it wrong. My reply to Mandibelle’s wonderful comment was located immediately above her statement (I will try to remove it). It stated:
Oh my! Yes, that certainly helps! And you stated it so plainly and so well. “But like everything…” that really says it, doesn’t it? As I said, he is going to be okay, but it has just all had me thinking, and I know that the question comes up all the time.
Thank you so very much,
Scott
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