Truth Revisited

This time it is “no-regrets-part-1” post from “Truth and Cake” that has me going.

She wrote about truth and when to tell all and when not to. I wrote a similar post about the-truth-the-whole-truth-should-it-be-the-truth a few weeks ago.

We both had a lot to say as did the comments. I decided to revisit the subject because of some things she said and how they got me thinking.

She spoke about looking at yourself and working on that first, instead of always looking at others.

I was not mistreated as a child; however, the way I reacted to some of the things that adults did colored my personality for the rest of my life.  They didn’t really do anything wrong.  It was the context I put on things and what was said.

For a light example, one that doesn’t explode on me for saying something, when I was in high school, I had a relative try to explain something to someone else.  I overheard.  A few weeks later, that situation came up with me.  Now, I was years younger than the person my relative was speaking to.  He understood the context; I didn’t.  So, I reacted with, let’s say, a bit more of a negative to what was said than was needed.  That event caused me to believe a certain way for years.  I understand that context now, but I know that it was how I saw the situation and what was said, not the actuality of it.

I can think of many examples of this type of problem in my own life; I can only imagine how it affects others.  Of course, psychology is full of these.

When an adult sees something and tries to process that information, misunderstandings can happen and problems arise.  If the other side works well and this adult tries hard, the problems can, usually, be worked out.

However, if an emotionally immature person is told something or sees something that they cannot properly deal with, mental and emotional scars are created and, often, professional guidance is needed to work through the situation.

What does this have to do with truth?  All parties felt they were dealing with the truth.  It was because the two sides weren’t on the same page that the situation became skewed.

This goes back to fully understanding the other person before you judge what they are doing or saying.  People act differently, not to upset you (usually 🙂 ), but act out of their upbringing or physical makeup or even just how well they understood what was going on.

A woman who has been sexually assaulted may well react very differently to a flirt than would a woman who enjoys dating.  Even more, a woman will, normally, react differently to a flirt from someone she cares about than from someone she is disinterested in.

All of this is to simply point out what “truth and cake” spoke of when she discussed understanding the situation before deciding how to react.

I had really intended to go in a different direction at the start of this post; however, I also have come to realize that , by going with my feelings, I often can reach people who really needed to hear the point.

No apology, simply the reason.

Love to hear what you think.



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  • Truth and Cake  On May 22, 2012 at 5:39 pm

    Nice post, Scott. “All parties felt they were dealing with the truth. It was because the two sides weren’t on the same page that the situation became skewed.” Too often, we don’t stop and think about how our version of truth differs from someone else’s. We can be in the same room, experiencing the same thing, and walk out with two entirely different versions of the event. We all process things differently, and our experiences are colored by the past. I think you clarified some things for me as well 🙂 Thanks.


    • kindredspirit23  On May 23, 2012 at 1:41 am

      Wow! Makes me really glad when I can help someone else with what I say.
      There was the old psychology story about a professor who gave a lecture.
      While he was giving the lecture, he had a guy run into the room, do something
      fairly weird and outlandish while on stage with the professor, then run off in
      only a few seconds. After class, the students were questioned. Almost all of them
      gave a totally different description of the man.
      Makes you think.


  • Soma Mukherjee  On May 18, 2012 at 3:23 am

    truth is a strange keeps fying over ones head till they make up their mind as to what to do about it..
    there are things no matter how true they are i will never ever say to another for the fear of hurting them..or may be tell them later when the time is right..again its holding back the truth..but at times thats what looks good..
    like you said about flirting you are so right….how same thing is being veiwed differently by different people…
    but before jumping guns its always better to take a step back think twice and ask if one has any doubt..
    anyways i dont look at things in that way…to me before anything i write or say i just ask my self if the time right,and am i going to hurt someone…sometimes pain is ineveitable ..


  • Dusty  On May 18, 2012 at 2:40 am

    “How poor are they who have not patience! What wound did ever heal but by degrees”
    William Shakespeare


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