Serenity at Last!

Sam reminded me of this wonderful piece of musical material. This is my very favorite version performed by pianist, Robin Spielberg. I am not certain what I will be writing about as I plan to write as I listen to this selection. I hope you will as you read.

There are days in which I am happy and sad, others when I rush and stop. What I don’t do so much any more is worry.

Worry sucks the life out of a situation. I used to worry about nearly everything. I would worry about how my socks fit, whether I would be late for work, would I like the lunch I had packed, would I do something wrong at work and get in trouble, I think you get the idea.

I had done this all my life, from when I was very young up until just a few short years ago. As those of you who follow me consistently know, I attribute a lot of this change to my stroke.

When I woke up in the hospital after having “died”, after losing 10 days of my life, never to know what really happened, after over a year of struggling with rehab and therapy, and now with over two years under my belt but knowing that I still have a ways to go, I am just now beginning to understand that I have changed enough that I am vastly different from most people I am around.

My lack of worry, my lack of fear of the general things in life has made me someone who people like, and that many admire. People don’t do this, for the most part, and I sometimes forget that, pre-stroke, I didn’t either. My blood pressure is well-settled. True I am on meds, but, before my stroke, even those didn’t work. What I attribute a lot of it to is my lack of worry.

Pressure released!

The pressure that rocked my world before, is simply a pebble’s throw now. I lay down at night and I have stopped worrying about sleep. I take pretty much whatever comes and look it straight in the face and … smile.

Life is beautiful and that includes the parts that never seemed so beautiful before. Sunsets always have been, flowers, small animals, countryside. But now, it all has a sense of beauty to it. I appreciate it more and love … life.

I wish for you, if you don’t have it, this wonderful sense of serenity I have obtained through something terrible. I hope you receive it through something more wonderful.


I wish it for all of you.
Love and Namaste,

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  • Aspergers Girls  On June 16, 2012 at 1:39 am

    Love Button. Yay, Scott. I am so happy for you….and I didn’t remind you of the song….you found the song for me…he he…. thanks for the name mention. I understand FINALLY what you mean. I feel like my brain has shifted. I spend much more time not worrying…..then I catch myself worrying that I’m not worrying…”what about those bills?” “what about those blood tests?” But as soon as the “fear” rises this invisible hand comes and sweeps the fear away. It is amazing. A super power I have found, I think. I am the happiest I have been in my life….even though things are no where near perfect. Thanks for these great words. One of my favorite posts of yours. Sissy Sam πŸ™‚


  • Soma Mukherjee  On June 15, 2012 at 2:11 am

    Its true isnt it..if you have not experienced some pain,if you have not have thorns prick your feet,if you have not stumbled a lot ,if you have not seen the tunnel from near you will not learn to appreciate life the way those who have experienced all, do…
    for others do not wait for that experience..learn to live now
    As always a wonderful write up and beautiful message
    hugs πŸ™‚


  • buckwheatsrisk  On June 15, 2012 at 12:02 am

    just looking at the pics were wonderfully calming, and then what you wrote…oh to not feel so much worry! you have been given a gift, obviously you know that!


  • susielindau  On June 14, 2012 at 11:18 pm

    And the very same to you!


  • magsx2  On June 14, 2012 at 11:18 pm

    I am still listening to that beautiful music in the video, and of course I read your blog while it was going, I hadn’t heard this before, and I must say it is just lovely. πŸ™‚

    I still worry about certain things, although not as much as when I was younger
    and the things you do worry about I find always gets sorted out and life goes on and usually I find the worry was all for nothing. πŸ˜€


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