OMG – Don’t Be … Perfect!

“That’s it. That’s just perfect.”
“It will be simply perfect.”
“You are perfect just the way you are.”

Okay, now to fend off those who try to pick apart blogs (you’re out there and you know who you are!), I will simply say that I believe the last statement: you really are perfect the way you are. However, that is a spiritual sense, not necessarily in a practical sense.

I doubt, no I hope, that you are not perfect.

Perfect is something we all strive for, but do you really want to actually achieve it, at least, here on Earth?

Even perfection has some “dirt” on it.

Again, I am setting aside spiritual matters here. This all came about because my son is visiting me. It’s not his fault; it just happened that way.

I have, slowly, allowed my home to … well, fall apart. It was a mess, not a perfect mess, mind you, just a mess. Anyway, with my hip and fatigue the way it is, I could not do what all needed to be done to get it ready for his visit. My niece is my house cleaner. She comes in and spruces the place up (wonder where that word comes from? “Spruces” – do we think our place would look better with trees inside it?).

Okay, my house is not the worst! Obviously!

Regardless, there have been things (read that as “life”) happening and she hasn’t been able to come here in awhile and, though I try, I could not keep it to where it needed to be. So, my Sister and her daughter (the niece) both came to my house for about 7 hours and worked. I also worked (I work much better when there is someone else there working too). So, the house is clean and looks pretty nice (I can’t find a lot of things, but…).

There were a lot of decisions that had to be made and, proud of myself, a lot was given away or tossed. There were some things that Sis would do and I would give her that look or say “no” and her response twice was something to the effect of not wanting me to look like an old man to the world, who didn’t care about it. My response of “I am an old man and don’t really care about it,” did not carry the day and I was “overruled”.

Anyway, that was several days ago and my little brain has been pondering (“pondering” – thinking about small lakes?”) what she said and all that it centered around. The thing I really remember was way back in high school I went to a friend’s home and her mother had us sit in another room because the front room was not to be touched. It was clean, nearly all white, expensively done, and “perfect”. She didn’t want us to mess it up. Back then, I remember thinking, “What good is a room that you can’t use?”

What good is it!? You can’t even step on the floor.

I still feel that way. Sis and my Niece got my house in really nice shape (I love them both and thank them much). However, it’s not perfect. It looks “lived-in” and it is. I get to enjoy the entire house. I just try to clean up behind me as best I can. Point is, if the house was perfect, I would be afraid to use anything because, then, it would not be perfect anymore.

Perfection, true perfection, only has two routes: status quo and degradation. It either stays the same or goes downhill. What fun would it be if everyone was perfect?

Good! A few issues are just perfect for a good relationship!

I have always said, I don’t want to date or marry perfection. That’s too high a standard to have to live up to. Give me a few flaws. They don’t have to be (don’t want them to be) huge flaws, just some things that aren’t perfect.
I have rambled – back to the point – Perfection (other than in spirit), in my opinion, would be boring. I like the spice of imperfection. I embody imperfection and expect it in others.

From a psychological point of view, if you keep leaving people because they are not perfect, ask yourself this: Do you think it could be that you are afraid you might not be able to control your environment totally (and feel insecure) if they don’t do things exactly as you think they should be done?

Live it up! Quit worrying about things always having to go your way. Love because of, not in spite of.


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  • Marisa  On August 3, 2012 at 7:36 pm

    Very nicely written, Scott. I might add that perfection is relative anyway. What defines perfect to you may not be the way I define it. I think it’s wonderful to be the best “ME” I can be, but that’s all I can ask of myself… right? Some people may see me as striving too hard to be perfect in terms of my health. For me, it’s not about perfection, but rather being & feeling my optimal best so I can enjoy life at its optimum. It works for me and I certainly don’t impose my lifestyle on anyone else or expect them to espouse the things I do. We must see others through God’s lens with love and compassion right where they are. Thanks for loving me as a friend right where I am… I love you too sweet friend!


  • lostbythesea  On August 3, 2012 at 2:18 am

    Clean post!!
    In my world perfection only exists in death.. One is perfectly dead! Lol..
    My Scorpio brain is the ultimate in imperfection. Too pooped to elaborate.



  • Aspergers Girls  On June 21, 2012 at 5:19 pm

    PURRfect post…..great message…I like the thought of issues and flaws adding to a relationship. Going in blind and expecting perfection is insane. And we attract like-minded souls in need of like-minded lessons. The dirty house photo cracked me up. And I have been worrying all week about my house not being up to par….lol…letting that go….It’s soooo lived in. 🙂 Enjoyed this one. Hugs from sissy sam. 🙂


    • kindredspirit23  On June 21, 2012 at 5:50 pm

      I have had several similar comments. I had forgotten how tied up with perfection I was pre-stroke.
      It’s nice to get away from all that and just live.
      Hugs back, Bro Scott


  • Indira  On June 21, 2012 at 1:45 am

    What a lovely101 post, I was in need of this, my mind always torments me that i am not perfect. After reading your post I am relieved. Thanks for writing, very enjoyable.


    • kindredspirit23  On June 21, 2012 at 1:46 am

      Don’t torment yourself. If anyone tells you they are perfect – they are not only not perfect – they are wrong.


      • Indira  On June 21, 2012 at 1:52 am

        It’s me who thinks I am not good enough, when i see others writing so well, painting so well. I try hard but can’t do well. My family and you all blogger friends encourage me so much, Thanks a lot.


  • Soma Mukherjee  On June 21, 2012 at 12:47 am

    Oh Gawd I so needed this today and Purrrfect..soothing like a purr thanks Scott
    you healed me..
    Bonitas has started going for occupational and behavioral therapy and we both come home tired and right now the house is …well a bit messy but clean and i have no intention of breaking my bone over trying to make it perfect


    • kindredspirit23  On June 21, 2012 at 1:44 am

      Good for you. Just make it good enough that you can enjoy being there (and work on that not having to be perfect!). Life is for enjoying and when you come home tired, the last thing you want to do is house work.


  • Truth and Cake  On June 21, 2012 at 12:04 am

    This is a fantastic post, Scott! I agree completely that a space should have a somewhat lived in feel, as well as plenty of personal touches to make it your own. I love to walk into a room and get a sense of who a person is right away. And you’re right–expecting perfection from people can stem from a need for control. I’m glad to hear you’re so at ease with the imperfect. I’m working at it, and I’m slowly getting better at embracing my imperfections day by day. I hope you have a wonderful visit with your son! I’m sure he’ll appreciate all of your efforts, but I’m pretty sure he’ll be more interested in seeing you than your clean house 🙂


    • kindredspirit23  On June 21, 2012 at 1:42 am

      Yes, he is. More importantly, I am not worried about the house.
      It is lived in, but clean enough for company.


  • magsx2  On June 20, 2012 at 10:58 pm

    A great read, and very well written I thought, I agree it would be a very boring world if everyone was perfect. 😀

    A house is just a house, a house that looks lived in is a home. 😀


  • buckwheatsrisk  On June 20, 2012 at 10:37 pm

    perfect post! 😉


  • buckwheatsrisk  On June 20, 2012 at 10:36 pm

    Amen to that!


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