A Snake is a Snake

It is not my normal to, simply print something that I see. I know I have done that with YouTube videos; however, there, I try to say something and I have put several together. However, this time, as I read, I couldn’t stop and, by the time I finished, I already knew it HAD to be my post for tonight. People have to know:

Garden snakes can be dangerous

I didn’t think twice about this tiny fellow on my baby boxwood until I got this letter:

Snakes also known as Garter Snakes (Thamnophis Sirtalis) can be dangerous Yes, grass snakes, not rattlesnakes. Here’s why.

A couple in Sweetwater , Texas , had a lot of potted plants. During a recent cold spell, the wife was bringing a lot of them indoors to protect them from a possible freeze.

It turned out that a little green garden grass snake was hidden in one of the plants. When it had warmed up, it slithered out and the wife saw it go under the sofa.

She let out a very loud scream.

The husband (who was taking a shower) ran out into the living room naked to see what the problem was. She told him there was a snake under the sofa.

He got down on the floor on his hands and knees to look for it. About that time the family dog came and cold-nosed him on the behind. He thought the snake had bitten him, so he screamed and fell over on the floor.

His wife thought he had had a heart attack, so she covered him up, told him to lie still and called an ambulance.

The attendants rushed in, would not listen to his protests, loaded him on the stretcher, and started carrying him out.

About that time, the snake came out from under the sofa and the Emergency Medical Technician saw it and dropped his end of the stretcher. That’s when the man broke his leg and why he is still in the hospital.

The wife still had the problem of the snake in the house, so she called on a neighbor who volunteered to capture the snake. He armed himself with a rolled-up newspaper and began poking under the couch.. Soon he decided it was gone and told the woman, who sat down on the sofa in relief.

But while relaxing, her hand dangled in between the cushions, where she felt the snake wriggling around. She screamed and fainted, the snake rushed back under the sofa.

The neighbor man, seeing her lying there passed out, tried to use CPR to revive her.

The neighbor’s wife, who had just returned from shopping at the grocery store, saw her husband’s mouth on the woman’s mouth and slammed her husband in the back of the head with a bag of canned goods, knocking him out and cutting his scalp to a point where it needed stitches.

The noise woke the woman from her dead faint and she saw her neighbor lying on the floor with his wife bending over him, so she assumed that the snake had bitten him. She went to the kitchen and got a small bottle of whiskey, and began pouring it down the man’s throat.

I know, I said a man’s throat!

By now, the police had arrived.
Breathe here…

They saw the unconscious man, smelled the whiskey, and assumed that a drunken fight had occurred. They were about to arrest them all, when the women tried to explain how it all happened over a little garden snake!

The police called an ambulance, which took away the neighbor and his sobbing wife.

So, after the shooting, I imagine officers had to learn how to “handle” snakes.

Now, the little snake again crawled out from under the sofa and one of the policemen drew his gun and fired at it. He missed the snake and hit the leg of the end table. The table fell over, the lamp on it shattered and, as the bulb broke, it started a fire in the drapes.

The other policeman tried to beat out the flames, and fell through the window into the yard on top of the family dog who, startled, jumped out and raced into the street, where an oncoming car swerved to avoid it and smashed into the parked police car.

Meanwhile, neighbors saw the burning drapes and called in the fire department. The firemen had started raising the fire ladder when they were halfway down the street. The rising ladder tore out the overhead wires, put out the power, and disconnected the telephones in a ten-square city block area (but they did get the house fire out).

Time passed! Both men were discharged from the hospital, the house was repaired, the dog came home, the police acquired a new car and all was right with their world.

A while later they were watching TV and the weatherman announced a cold snap for that night. The wife asked her husband if he thought they should bring in their plants for the night.

And that’s when he shot her.

Now, you understand.
Namaste,
Scott

Advertisements
Post a comment or leave a trackback: Trackback URL.

Comments

  • brettbatten  On July 26, 2012 at 2:56 pm

    How happy I am to have stumbled upon your story, I needed a good laugh. Thank you!

    Like

  • Indira  On July 26, 2012 at 4:55 am

    Snakes may be dangerous but they look very fascinating.

    Like

  • Shantnu Tiwari  On July 24, 2012 at 5:20 pm

    brilliant!

    I’m surprised a newspaper / tv station hasn’t picked up this story yet 🙂

    Like

  • Aspergers Girls  On July 24, 2012 at 1:13 pm

    Just had to return, as I have more time, and say it was “ironic” that yesterday on our walk a garter snake sprung out from a bush and startled me and the boys….first time in my life…..so odd to see this story here. 🙂 Great post. 🙂 LS (took out the B for blog)

    Like

  • Soma Mukherjee  On July 24, 2012 at 12:50 am

    ha ha ha h aOMG this was hilarious,one of the most funny story i have ever read..
    My goodness Scott…
    Big hugs what a wonderful story,you made my day

    Like

    • Scott L Vannatter  On July 24, 2012 at 9:21 am

      I didn’t write it, no, sorry, I forgot to mention, I found it in an email to me. The story was anonymous.

      Like

  • susielindau  On July 23, 2012 at 11:42 pm

    OH MY GOD! This is hilarious! Did you make the whole thing up??? I love the whole thing!

    Like

  • buckwheatsrisk  On July 23, 2012 at 10:24 pm

    ahahaha! you know i love snakes, so the second pic is a red tailed boa and the white ginormous one is an albino red tailed boa! love the story so funny! they are not dangerous! people are! ha!

    Like

    • kindredspirit23  On July 23, 2012 at 11:00 pm

      Perfect story for you then!

      Like

      • buckwheatsrisk  On July 23, 2012 at 11:37 pm

        oh ya i even read it to Hubby who is not a blogger, but loves snakes and he got a good laugh after his first initial hissy fit about garden snakes not being dangerous…lol..i knew when i read that part he would have that reaction so i got a good laugh while telling him to listen to the rest of story!

        Like

Trackbacks

Feel free to say something; I look forward to it!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

sipofwellness

sip by sip guide to live well

wordsandotherthings.wordpress.com/

she is confidence in shadows.

Sue Vincent's Daily Echo

Echoes of Life, Love and Laughter

The World according to Dina

Notes on Seeing, Reading & Writing, Living & Loving in The North

Debbie Gravett

Word painter and story slave

Pam Grout

#1 New York Times best-selling author

The Storyteller's Abode

Enter a world of make believe!

Love it Now

Love is ever-present within our own Being but we might not feel it until we live in the Now. "Love it Now" was created to share ideas about loving and being present in the here and now. Enjoy!

%d bloggers like this: