Stand By Me

I stole the first song today from Kia Carla

Listen to it; and then think about it.

Well, what did you get out of it?  Did you get that we all need friends and others in this old world to stand by us and that we need to stand by them so the world will be a better place?  Good!  That’s what they wanted.  Now, I want to go into something just a bit different.

Buried in that song is the word “Darlin'” (okay, not buried – used a lot).  Now, that is what a guy calls a girl he is interested in.  I think the song is more about a guy telling a woman he cares deeply about to “stand by him.”    He says he won’t be afraid if she does.

Did you ladies know that we guys get “afraid” if we think we are losing you?

Now, we don’t always do the right thing.  Sometimes, we go all bat-sh** and yell and scream and tell you to get lost.  I don’t think I have do that for that reason, but it happens.

It means we are now afraid.  We are afraid that we are not “enough”; we are afraid that you have found that out and decided we aren’t “worth enough.”  Better to cut your loses and leave, right?  Don’t give me that.  A lot of women decide they aren’t good enough or that we think they aren’t and cut their loses.  It goes something like this:

A guy and gal begin talking on the phone.  It goes really well; really well.  Now, the guy is happy and giddy and wants to go out.  They may even make plans to go out.


“Hello.” (Less enthusiasm.  He notices, but tries.)

“Was really enjoying our last talk.”

“Look.  I think we are going too fast.”

“Okay.  So, we need to slow down?” (Still trying, ladies)


“Okay.  I can do that.  We will take it at your speed.  We still on for tomorrow?” (Compromise, but letting her know he is still interested and plans on seeing her.)

“I don’t know.  I don’t think I can make it.” (Now, ladies, this sounds like a really bad thing to a guy.  First, back off, then the cut out.  We will get touchy and anything can happen.)

“What’s the matter?” (We are hoping here that it’s not us; we are hoping that she really is just busy.)

“You expect more out of this than I do.”

“What do you mean?  You want to see where this goes, don’t you?” (See?  We got nervous and now it comes out a bit angry.)

“I thought I did.” (That isn’t going to get him to give up.  Now, he’s really afraid.)

“What do you mean?  What’s the matter?” (See?)

“You treat me too well.” (Not kidding ladies.  Some of you have actually said that line.)

“I treat you too well!  First, I am going too fast and now that I agree to slow down, I treat you too well!” (This isn’t going to go well)

“Don’t get mad at me.  I know that, at some point, you will quit being this nice and hurt me.” (Let’s put a few more nails in that coffin)

“When have I ever done anything to say that to you?” (One more last out.  All she has to do is be honest and talk it out…)

“You men are all the same.” ( War!  That will do it!)

“Well, if you feel that way, maybe we shouldn’t have started this at all!” ( Oh Boy!)

“Maybe you’re right!” (Hangs up)

Now, if you follow my blog, you know that I am not blaming the ladies for all the break ups.  Guys are idiots, well, most of them.  I sat through enough locker room talks and “guy” talks and heard enough in halls and on the streets to know that most guys (read that word “most”) don’t know how to behave very well around women, or, not for very long.

Thing is I also have talked with enough guys to know that a lot of us think (don’t hope, but think) that you all want the “bad” boy so you don’t have to feel guilty over any of it and can break up without having to worry about whose fault it is.  Must be our fault; we are the guys.  That makes it really difficult on someone like me (there are others) who really do want to treat you well and really do want things to work out and both of us be happy.

I have a friend who is this way.  I think he may have found someone who believes him and is accepting him.  That would be great.

In closing, just know guys that we have to keep on being nice if we want a long-term nice.  Ladies, some of us are nice; go with it and don’t assume.  No one wants to be unhappy or go through pain; however, pain is like the valley; the mountain looks really great from the valley.  It also looks really far away.  But, if you keep walking, one day, there you will be.



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  • By A Post about a Post « Kindredspirit23's Blog on August 21, 2012 at 10:08 pm

    […] since I have dragged all of you into my thought on dating  experience with several posts ( here, here, and here for starters) the least I could do is show you what I have now put on for the […]


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