Church and Spirit

It’s Sunday afternoon as I am sitting here writing this post. It is a nice Sunday. The air is crisp and cool for a change. I have had my A/C off for almost two full days now. Windows open, the outside air flowing through the house. It feels wonderful.

It has been a strange week, full of different things, different emotions. There have been a lot of things that have happened that I cannot explain the why, just the what.

Why is it that I have a person (dating site, people) who gives me her number, tells me to call, we talk for about an hour, and everything seems to go well; then, we make plans for me to call the next day to plan having lunch a little later and talk, and she never answers, never calls back, and won’t respond to a message on the site? I just don’t get it.

I am not broken up; I am not angry; I am not thinking that something is wrong with me. I simply don’t understand and don’t know how to figure it out. I have learned that people are strange; most of us are. In fact, the ones who are not may be the strangest of all.

I taught classes of students who were different from general society; the kids weren’t accepted well and they had a bone to pick with the world (well, most of them did). I fit in with them pretty well because they saw me for who I was and I saw them as needed care, attention, love, and a bit of understanding. We were a group and we did pretty well together. But, this world outside with its “normal” people, I just don’t get them.

Originally, this post was going to be about church and spirit; we will see where it heads. But, for the moment, it is about courteousness. It is about seeing people as they are and just accepting that. I didn’t go to church this morning (See? I have gone full circle back to the title). I haven’t been going in quite a while. Excuses can be made; reasons can be given. The bottom line is that I don’t feel the urge to go. People keep asking when I am coming back. They ask me why I am not there; they even tell me they miss me.

It’s interesting. They say they miss me, but no one calls; no one visits. Now, don’t get me wrong. That doesn’t bother me; it’s simply that I don’t understand it. I don’t understand how people can say something while doing something else. I mean it is done all the time. I suppose I may even do it on a few things. That doesn’t mean I understand it.

But, sticking with church, I haven’t been going and I am not missing that experience. Down deep within myself, I am happy in my relationship with God. God understands me; God knows me; God loves me. I understand that and I am happy with it. I went through a lot to get to this point. There was a time when I needed church; I needed a place to go for forgiveness and to understand the concept of eternal love and life. And, if I say I have evolved to a different place, that doesn’t mean I think I am better than the ones who go to church. We are just in different places in life.

Why is it that if you don’t go to church you can’t understand God? That’s kind of like saying if you don’t go to medical school, you can’t understand the effects a disease has on you. I spent many years in church; I read many books on the subject; I talked to hundreds of people about it; I had immersed myself in the subject for a long time. So why is it so important for me to go now? People tell me because they care or that I will become lost in “The Way”. I am told that Satan wants me out of the church and that I am heading toward Hell.

It’s not good to get me into a religious discussion when I am not tired and worn out. I think so far outside the box at times, that the box isn’t even around. After all, I am the one who asked some of the church goers why, if the object of life is to get to heaven, and the object of the minister is to get us to heaven, and if young children who die automatically go to heaven, why doesn’t the minister kill the children so they all go? No, I don’t advocate that idea and no, I don’t believe in it really at all. But, the point I was trying to make at the time was, if you follow all the rules and ideas, this is one you could reasonably come up with.

I don’t see it as any more ridiculous than the concept that I am on this planet for about 80 years being tested to prove that I deserve eternal joy in heaven after I die. If I mess up during these brief (in the realm of eternity) 80 years and don’t get it straightened out in time, I go to hell for all eternity. That’s like throwing your child out into the street a 8 years old because they didn’t make the bed like they promised and forgot to tell you they were sorry.

Bottom line (because you know that means I am about done): You all are smart. You also deserve to be as you need to be. We are all on different parts of the path and the path may not even be the same one. The idea is that we need to learn to accept people more and try to understand them better so we can see the world more from their point of view.

I try not to judge people; I try to let people be as they are. My view of God is different from the organized religious view of most all churches. If you need to be in church and feel good there, then, by all means, go, enjoy, live it and love it. But, if that truly isn’t your idea of it all and if you are happy and if you understand God, or, at least, feel good about your relationship with Him, isn’t that okay, too? I think it should be.



Post a comment or leave a trackback: Trackback URL.


  • lostbythesea  On August 13, 2012 at 1:24 pm

    Enjoyed being a fly on your computer screen. Your posts always leave me thinking and connecting the dots…..
    I was raised Catholic and attended Catholic schools, taught for the most part by Nuns. The children in school teased and taunted, the Nuns were no better. We would pray in class and church.. and then we who were’ different’ .. perceived or in reality, were bullied and humiliated by staff and schoolmates. Gotta love that religion!

    Oh how I wish I had been in your class! Those of us who were ‘different’ were indeed the normal ones. We banded together, accepted, laughed and loved so authentically. We were up front and committed friends from 1st through 6th grades.. and some for decades more. By my teens I was able to think more for myself, voice my feelings and no longer pushed to attend Mass. Except on occasion to accompany my Mom who still attends, like religion.

    I’ve been out on the whole God thing since my teens. I prefer to call it Great Spirit or Universe. I believe there is Something. Something we will never understand. It guides us onto a path for a reason. One that we may or may not ever know or understand, but we must set foot upon it all the same. It’s always there, moving us through life, through each twist and turn, peak and valley. In my (humble) opinion the whole Heaven /Hell thing is right here, on Earth. We have the ability to make it Heaven or Hell. The choice is ours. Have you read The Diving Bell and the Butterfly? It was also made into a film. The story says so much about the human condition, how we perceive, and it and make into our reality.

    Yesterday, some of my maverick gals and I got together for our 2nd marathon lunch. We see each other here and there, but don’t get opportunities to get into our favorite long philosophical/ social-anthropological/humanitarian/political conversations, in private. So we make them. We have these treasured lunch dates that run 5 or so hours. 🙂 It’s a beautiful thing. We all leave feeling more empowered, connected to each other and our world.

    Having had utilized dating sites in the past, I understand the drill and the confounding dichotomy they present. Since my divorce 16 years ago I have been been in four committed relationships stemming from dating sites, and in-between many lost in cyberspace/email-voice mail connections. I ended three of the four relationships, for just cause (the Universe I’m sure agrees). Long stories, now gone, but each one served it’s purpose to bring me closer to a better understanding of myself (and the world). I had to learn in a hands on classroom, so to speak, in order to graduate on to the next level of this human life.

    All, save one, of my lunch date gals are single. At yesterday’s meeting of hearts and souls it was suggested to me that I start up a real time Matchmaking service for the over 50 crowd (we haven’t one here in our community). Those of us that do not attend church, bars or other traditional means of meeting people need a good old matchmaker. One that would bypass the whole internet dilemma. I was intrigued by the idea and may give it some thought. Especially since my nickname (which was unknown to the one who made the suggestion) in my former career was The Matchmaker. Gotta love those dots.



    • kindredspirit23  On August 13, 2012 at 10:05 pm

      Funny, interesting, and … it sounds like the story is not near done.
      Let me know how the matchmaking thing goes…or doesn’t.
      Thanks for the great thought and the trip down your memory lane.


  • Soma Mukherjee  On August 13, 2012 at 1:36 am

    I have the same feeling about a lot of people,not complaining cos i am sure a lot of people find me strange too..i tend to see-saw between these highly active to hibernating days ..but if i promise someone i will call or meet i do keep my promise…i do understand the feeling of not knowing and thinking what the hell just happend…have you tried calling them back and asking if everything was alright…
    there are a lot of kinds of people on dating sites..there are those who are all brave and fun on sites but the thought of meeting scares them so in that moment they will commit but later on chicken out..then those who just want to be online and not meet offline but dont have guts to say so…
    I hope you meet a lovely person who understands and values verbal commitments


    • kindredspirit23  On August 13, 2012 at 8:47 am

      I sent them one more email on Sunday. I told them I would really like to know what happened and that I wasn’t upset. They haven’t read that as of last night. I think I will let that be that last call.


  • buckwheatsrisk  On August 12, 2012 at 11:44 pm

    i’ve spent years in the church and before i moved i found the first church i was ever really happy at, comfortable, i could be myself not feeling constant “should be’s” and demands on my services and time. since i have moved, i tried one and it was horrible, i couldn’t get out of there quick enough but, my Hubby who was completely entertained wanted to stay for that value…he is usually the one not wanting go! i haven’t been aside from that in four months and God is teaching me that i need to be okay with where i’m at…for me church is very triggering and it isn’t as simple as going and being a little shy because i don’t know some one…it is dealing with full out panic, fighting off triggers, not knowing if people truly care or have agendas…so for the short term i am not in church…i’ll know in my “knower” when he is calling me back.


Feel free to say something; I look forward to it!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

Simply Chronically Ill as simply as possible with chronic illness

James McEwan

Fiction illuminates the truth.


A clown is like aspirin, only he works twice as fast.

Sugar on the Bee

She is too fond of books and it has turned her brain (Louisa May Allcott)


lovin' guys lovin' guys

GentleSoul Arts

Living a Creative Life

Just Writing!

A place to improve my writing skills, and that's all.

Joseph Dalton Elite Reality


%d bloggers like this: