Why Did it Matter?

Today, I went to have lunch with my boss from a job of years ago. We have stayed connected through email and simply try to have lunch off and on.

To meet her at 1 in another nearby town, I need to get up and eat a bit earlier than I do a lot of days. This should mean going to bed a bit earlier too, wouldn’t you think? But, no, I find myself dragging to bed late and having to get up at one time, eat, and go back to bed for about two hours before getting up and getting ready.

It’s the diabetic thing. You really need 4 hours between meals. I try to have 4 hours from the end of one meal to the beginning of the next one. However, what happened last night was worse: I woke up at 5:30 and could not get back to sleep until almost 8:30.

This totally fractured my day and left me groggy and a bit grouchy. I tell you all of that just so I can tell you about the lunch.

She has retired and I had quit. The stress got to me and she decided enough was enough and she stopped. So, we talked about all the things we knew about together and each brought the other up to date on everything else. Then, we planned our next lunch in September. Two good friends eating together.

The difference for me today was that I was tired and have had a stroke. Those two impulse creators are not good together I am finding out. I thought about something and ended up telling her about an event that had happened at work. It wasn’t a big thing; it may have added to the stresses that convinced me to leave, but it wasn’t THE thing.

She didn’t have really anything to do with it except it was under her watch and I thought she ought to know the entire story. So, I told her.

When I finished she looked at me and said, “I’m sorry.” Now, when she says she is sorry about something, she really means it. I told her it wasn’t her fault; I told her that I just thought she ought to know now that it was all behind us.

In my opinion, it all helped to work things out for the better. But, now, I realized how much it meant for her to tell me how sorry she was for something that bothered me and affected me that she knew nothing about. I realized that I needed someone to tell me they were sorry.

As I said, it wasn’t a horribly big deal; it was just one of those things; however, it happened. It contributed to my experiences there. I don’t really care much anymore, but I do know that telling her about it took some stress off me that I didn’t even know I had until then, until now.

That moment of realization has grown in my head and I understand that there are probably other things, more important, that I have let go and should make sure I have really “let go”.

Do you have things like that in your life? Do you have some little things that, probably, don’t matter to anyone else but you? Maybe you don’t think it even means anything to you. Then, why does it keep coming up in your mind?

I know this, I can really let go of this now and, even though it wasn’t a big deal, the tension release is felt and it feels good.


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  • Marisa  On August 17, 2012 at 4:10 pm

    Scott, I’m so glad you were able to relieve some of your tension. I think it’s wonderful the way God put you in a position to do so and you really didn’t even realize you needed it… very cool!

    It is good to let go for our own sake and sometimes that means letting go without an apology. You and I both know that soliciting an apology can mean opening up a can of worms and in the end we don’t get the apology we were after in the first place.

    I have been hurt gravely by people who mean a great deal to me and unfortunately, I will never get an apology. This leaves me with 2 choices: Sever the relationship, or move on and forgive them anyway. The latter is definitely the best option for me as I’m not willing to sacrifice relationship at the hands of satan (isn’t he who we are wresting against anyway?) and I have hope of perfect relationships in Heaven some day… this gives me something to look forward to. For my own health and well-being… I let it go and don’t give it another thought.

    Don’t get me wrong, an apology is wonderful and it’s sure a heck of a lot easier and faster to work through the problem when hearts are in the right place and restitution the goal.

    Thanks for your friendship 😀



    • kindredspirit23  On August 17, 2012 at 10:27 pm

      I am glad that works for you. Do promise me that should I ever be the one you wish an apology from, you will tell me straight up.
      Love you, too, friend,


  • lostbythesea  On August 17, 2012 at 12:24 am

    There is something quite wonderful in having an experience/feeling validated, especially when it has been taking up the peace parking spots in our hearts and minds. I have a few, and I am working on them. Knowing what they are is a good starting point from which to explore the ties than bind me from letting them go. Some are harder than others. There are days when a big tow truck would be beneficial to open up my double parked peace spots. I understand the fitful sleep modes. I have them as well, not much fun when you have to be up and about at socially mandated hours. Hope you catch up on that priceless REM sleep. Thank you for sharing your very positive process. 🙂


    • kindredspirit23  On August 17, 2012 at 1:27 am

      And thank you for your candor. I do not like taking sleeping medications, though it may become necessary for a short time to get myself going. My stroke has reset all my sleeping mechanisms and they are no longer following the necessary schedule. I am using Melatonin and I hope that ends up working. We shall see.
      I hope you do well, also. I think now I shall try that sleep thing again.


      • lostbythesea  On August 17, 2012 at 1:40 pm

        Hope last night was better.. Melatonin has been my saving grace. 🙂


        • kindredspirit23  On August 17, 2012 at 10:28 pm

          Did just a bit better.
          I will talk to the pharmacist. I may need to take a stronger dose.


  • Aspergers Girls  On August 15, 2012 at 10:53 pm

    I loved the tone of this post…the energy behind it was very honest and soft. I have tried to let go of all and forgive all. The hardest to let go of are those pangs in which I thought I needed someone to say “I’m sorry” and mean it. But I understand now that everyone is limited by thier own pains and attachments. I think I’ve moved on from most that used to keep me in the past. Now, my quest is to not let others’ energy affect me in a non-beneficial way…that is what I’m working on. Lovely post, B.B. ~ L.S.


  • buckwheatsrisk  On August 15, 2012 at 10:45 pm

    i’m sure i have lots of stuff! i’m glad you got what you needed even though you didn’t know you needed it!


    • kindredspirit23  On August 16, 2012 at 1:48 am

      Those are things the catch me off-guard. Therapy will help you find those things easier and to deal with them better, I imagine.


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