Friday Fictioneers – 09/28/2012 – Regret

Friday Fictioneers – September 28, 2012

Johnathon walked into the living room and sat by the fireplace.  He glanced at Sarah, his wife and most beautiful woman he had ever known.  She turned her head, smiling back.

“Dinner’s ready soon, Sweetheart,” her voice cooed.

“Thanks.  I don’t think I’ll make it tonight, Love,” he spoke back, just as softly, but with tearful sadness.

He got up and stepped, unsteadily, to the doorway.  He turned, looking once more at her.  Her loveliness followed him out into the afternoon sun.

He glanced back at the ruins of the house.

“Wish I had made it after all,” he whispered.

Namaste,

Scott

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Comments

  • dmmacilroy  On October 3, 2012 at 2:03 am

    I got this right away, for what it’s worth. Thought it well rendered and sad. You captured the moment well.

    Aloha,

    Doug

    Like

  • Lora Mitchell  On September 30, 2012 at 1:00 am

    I read the previous comments and still confused. A beautiful wife, lovely home…then nothing. Not sure what happened.

    Like

    • kindredspirit23  On September 30, 2012 at 11:22 am

      What it was supposed to be was a chance for you to imagine what might have happened. The story was simply that he had her, left for some reason, and lost her. Just a sadness. It was the feeling of regret I was going most for. He would have liked to have undone what he did. Thanks for asking. I will work on making it clearer in the future.
      Scott

      Like

  • rich  On September 29, 2012 at 10:17 pm

    i’m not really sure what happened.

    Like

    • kindredspirit23  On September 30, 2012 at 12:44 am

      I wanted you to be able to freely suppose just knowing that he had her and now she is gone and he is sorry he wasn’t there.

      Like

  • newpillowbook  On September 29, 2012 at 10:04 am

    Very effective! I was wondering how you were going to work the gate into this pleasant little story – and you completely jolted me when you delivered. Very touching twist ending.

    Like

  • Rochelle Wisoff-Fields  On September 29, 2012 at 6:48 am

    Often if it’s difficult to write it will be your strongest work. Sad story.

    Like

  • Sandra  On September 29, 2012 at 2:36 am

    Very sad, a different take on the prompt.

    Like

  • Perry Block (@PerryBlock)  On September 29, 2012 at 1:10 am

    Wow, what a sense of lost opportunities and regret I get and I’m not sure why. A beautiful wife, what appears to be a lovely home, and it’s almost all for naught.

    Nice piece, almost begs for a sequel …

    Like

  • Soma Mukherjee  On September 28, 2012 at 11:52 pm

    oh!! it was heart wrenching Scott the way he departed..left me speechless for a while..the soul of the fiction is so overwhelming …..stunning

    Like

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