Looking for You


Here is a link for you to go to and read.  It’s a great post/article.  I got a lot from it.  Read it then finish my post.

Rules for Being You

Today has been a rough day for me.  My new girlfriend (I had just gotten used to that term again) and I broke up.  I am not going to go into great detail as that would simply cause friction and anger and it’s not the point of this post.  So, we will leave it at the fact that each of us are individuals, a person.  That’s important and should be held onto and nurtured.

I grew up being everyone else’s version of me.  I didn’t have a real identity, I was Clark Kent.  I was who everyone else thought I was.  Because of that, I had to be pretty flexible, passive, and understanding.  So much so that I could change my basic being at will to be either liked or wimp out if they were strong personalities.  This allowed me to survive in that people, generally, left me alone or, at least, didn’t hurt me physically.

Doing this had another effect, though:  It stifled my very being and made me weak and shallow.  All this thought down inside, but not much to my outside.

Let’s just move ahead about 30 years, past two marriages, raising children, working, and go to now.  I have come into my own.  I write; I run a decent blog; I help our local library; and I love people.  By love I mean accept, help, befriend, listen to them, and care about what’s going on in their lives.

I am a writer; I am not what I write.

I am a writer; I am not what I write.

Now, I write.  What I seem to write well is horror.  That’s not all I write, but it is what is selling for me.  That also may define me, right or wrong.  When I tell someone what I do to try and earn money, they form an opinion.  A lot of that opinion is based on how well they already knew me.  All of you on here, you have your opinions of me and they seem to be pretty good.  I have also formed mine about each one of you that I know.  It’s based on my thoughts about you and could be right or wrong.

I keep thinking of an interview I saw somewhere with Alice Cooper.  Now, I had it in my head that Alice was nuts; I felt that the man had a screw loose somewhere and it would be really scary to be around him.  So, when he walked out onto stage in a three-piece suit, sat down, and calmly began talking about himself, I nearly freaked.  They talked about the snakes in his show and his outfits and his songs.  He waved all that off and said, “That’s showmanship.”  Or something a lot like that.  His point being, that was only the him that people knew who didn’t really know him.  It’s the one that they let form in their heads based on knowledge about rock stars and people who acted crazy on stage and people who wore strange makeup.  It wasn’t him; it was who he was when he was working (acting).

I am a writer; I enjoy writing horror; I enjoy writing suspense, drama, and science fiction.  I am not really any of those.  I am a person who enjoys seeing others succeed and will sit quietly while someone hurts and shares or needs quiet time.  I am full of compassion, caring, and a hope that all people will be given a chance to love and be loved, that includes me.

What I have to remember is that article at the beginning was all about “being you” because, you see, I am all those things and I write.  Not only that but I write horror and I watch action, horror,  and suspense movies.  But, I also love “The Little Mermaid” and “Benny and Joon” and “Bicentennial Man”.  I am a complex individual.  I do have a lot of sides, but they all fit into and become me.  That’s what that article was about:  accepting yourself and loving yourself and being you.

How about you?

Do you love yourself?  Why or why not?  Is there a part of you that you do not fully accept?



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  • nyckicuddie  On December 9, 2012 at 12:56 pm

    Ok, I admit, I read the blog post before I read the 14 rules, but I couldn’t agree more with both. People like to put others in neat little boxes and I think we fear that if we step outside of them we will make them uncomfortable. Seems the worst reason ever to avoid growing into who you are.


    • kindredspirit23  On December 9, 2012 at 3:55 pm

      Yes, we have to be who we are and if people don’t care for that, then they should adjust or move on.
      I am always looking for ways to changed to better myself, but I can’t always do it. Sometimes, I just like me as me.


  • Indira  On December 4, 2012 at 2:56 pm

    Accepting yourself as you are is the best thing . Inspiring post. May be very late I have started to accept my weakness and strength. I’m learning to love myself. Age, sickness, life teaches one many things which, when young, we overlook.


  • chiquitar  On December 3, 2012 at 7:33 am

    I love myself, but I am having a lot of trouble accepting what I’m doing with my time lately, and that I do not spend it more productively. I wish I had a more fruitful method of coping with my pain condition than so much distracting passive entertainment.


    • kindredspirit23  On December 3, 2012 at 10:59 am

      I use my blog to do a lot of that.
      It’s not passive entertainment, at all.
      I use it to connect with the world and to help spread the voice of peace, love, and faith to a large audience.
      God led me to this outlet; He will do the same for you, whatever that may be.
      One of my huge strengths is my writing; look for yours and think about how to make it work.
      Vent here, think aloud here whenever you wish.


      • chiquitar  On December 12, 2012 at 11:21 pm

        Thank you for you kind reply. I do very much enjoy the activity of blogging, but when the pain is very high, engaging with anyone, even online, is just too much for me. I am learning from myself, however, I just have to come inside myself and be ready to listen, even when it hurts.

        And I find myself hopeful that someday, by taking in all these stories in television form, I will use them to develop my storytelling more fully and learn to do something new with it!


  • Rev Dani Lynn  On December 3, 2012 at 1:02 am

    I remember seeing an interview with Alice Cooper many, many years ago and I too was surprised. He came across as smart and not at all like his stage persona.


  • 4amWriter  On December 2, 2012 at 10:03 pm

    I think you’re a great writer, and you seem to have found your sweet spot in horror. Nothing wrong with that. I think complexity is a beautiful thing, and that once we master one area of our lives does not mean we stop. We need to master the next area in our lives. This is what life is all about. Seems to me you’re doing just fine. 🙂


  • Aspergers Girls  On December 2, 2012 at 9:58 pm

    I really love me; a large part of this is due to the lovely people I have in my light. I see how beautiful they are and know beyond a doubt I am beauty to. It’s been a long road, but I am happy to be where I am at. I was sad to hear that things didn’t work out. I’m sure there is a bright star on your horizon just waiting to be loved by you! Keep up the great writing, in any genre that makes you feel good. Sam


    • kindredspirit23  On December 2, 2012 at 11:40 pm

      I will. I think that’s what I needed to learn here: be happy where I am and with who I am.


  • Debra Kristi  On December 1, 2012 at 10:08 pm

    I think it took me years and close to 367,000+ words of self-discovery to really love myself and fully accept myself. That isn’t to say there aren’t still things I want to change or feel I could improve upon, but I am happy with the person I was made to be. This is a wonderful post, Scott. Thanks for sharing. It’s funny how people get ideas in their head about what one should be based on their profession, isn’t it?


    • kindredspirit23  On December 1, 2012 at 10:11 pm

      Funny, scary, interesting, there are a lot of words to describe how that feels.
      I just know that I love what I am doing and that includes both my stories and my blog (which is more like how I am). I am a bit different; I accept that.
      Glad you can, too.


  • Jaklyn  On December 1, 2012 at 2:21 pm

    i love …all inclusive 🙂 i love myself because i’m alive 😀 …. kiss Scott 🙂


  • thehappyhugger  On December 1, 2012 at 12:58 am

    This comment could turn into a huge blog post … but to make it short. Yes, I love myself but also don’t like myself often. I try though and am learning to love myself more.
    I think you’re a great writer.


    • kindredspirit23  On December 1, 2012 at 1:09 am

      That means so much to me.
      Hmm, will have to think about the huge blog thing!
      Could be excellent ideas for many others.


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Philosophy is all about being curious, asking basic questions. And it can be fun!

North Noir


carly books

I read lots of books, from mythology retellings to literary fiction and I love to reread books from childhood, this is a place to voice my thoughts for fun. I also like to ramble about things such as art or nature every now and again.



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love each other like you are the lyric to their music

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Normalising the conversation about Grief.

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