Free Writing – Without Understanding

I won’t be doing this often.  Well, I say that, but here it is – I never thought I would do it to begin with.  I did some free writing tonight.  To me that is simply putting down thoughts with little organization and no changes except for spelling and such.

I will say that I wrote this in about 10-20 minutes.  I got a bit lost in it, so I am not certain exactly how long it took.  What I meant by never thinking I would do it is not the free writing.  It is that I am posting what I wrote and not understanding what it means.

I decided that I could use your help on that.

1)  Read the free writing below and tell me what you think it means.

2)  Tell me truthfully if you like it or not.  Try to tell me why or why not.

You are not merely my audience.  Each of you, in some way, is connected to me and helps to form my life.  I feel your presence and wish for your help.  You are all my friends.

___________________________________

Thoughts on the Matter

_

I sit alone and drink of my life.

The taste, often bitter, reminds me of my choices.

Often, the right leads away from the sweetness.

_

I choose, based on love, love of all, love of none.

My mind fills with the details of all I have to choose from,

The whys and whats which make up the crumpled paper

containing the truth of the matter.

_

I scream, knowing that my choice,

However, correct, however, decided, will leave me drawn and pale.

I will need and that need will be crushed by the necessity of other things.

_

Other always seems to preclude me.

Is this my choice or my destiny?

Am I to always see ahead enough to know I am finished before I begin?

_

You are always on the horizon.

A vision of beauty and awe which transcends actuality.

The marvel of you is what keeps me going,

heading ever onward to that sunset of ripe choosings.

_

Mortalness limits my vision and my understanding.

A hay mound of gentle firmness lends itself to my oracle.

I see the periphery of comprehension.

I gaze at the possibility of finality.

_

You, part of me, fixes inward, presses outward.

I know not when comes the moment of my ascension into certainty,

except for the reality that you will be a part of that mold and cast.

_

-Free Writing- March 31,2013 9:20PM

_____________________________________

Namaste,

Scott

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Comments

  • EagleAye  On April 1, 2013 at 10:24 pm

    It seems to me that this is about intuition. Sometimes choices are made without fully understanding the reasons why. Some reasons lay just at the edge of perception like a ghost, yet powerful enough to drive choice to move in a direction. When these guides or reasons elude the conscious mind, then I believe this is intuition.

    Not sure if any of that makes sense, but that’s what see in the writing.

    Like

    • kindredspirit23  On April 1, 2013 at 10:56 pm

      And, I appreciate the comments. I do believe I follow your thought process here. It would also explain why I said what I did and “almost” understand…intuition allowing me to say things that are just so close to what I feel.
      Scott

      Like

  • Debra Kristi  On April 1, 2013 at 9:31 pm

    I’ve read on many occasions that this is an excellent exercise to do first thing in the morning. It gets the flow going before you being on your bigger writing project. I’m always too lazy to get up before I absolutely must. That might be because I’m up till some ungodly hour.

    This is beautiful, Scott. I envisioned something heavenly as I read it. “A vision of beauty and awe which transcends actuality.”

    Like

    • kindredspirit23  On April 1, 2013 at 10:20 pm

      Thank you. I am still working on what it means. What I know is that I feel better having done it.
      I may simply let it go at that.
      Scott
      PS – I stay up quite late myself. I understand.

      Like

  • Aspergers Girls  On April 1, 2013 at 1:30 am

    One of my favorite things you have written.

    Like

    • kindredspirit23  On April 1, 2013 at 11:40 am

      Somehow, I knew you would be pleased. Now, if I could just figure it out! lol

      Like

      • Aspergers Girls  On April 1, 2013 at 11:57 am

        When one writes without intention, except to share from the core of self and to spread love, the vibrations of the words paint images and the vibrations are healing. 🙂 Peace

        Like

  • I’m intrigued by what may have been written on the paper that’s on the floor. Are the hasty thoughts to painful to fully contemplate?

    Like

    • kindredspirit23  On April 1, 2013 at 12:13 am

      I went back and read that section again. Thank you. I hadn’t really pictured that as being something thrown down that, perhaps, was important. I have always had hasty thoughts in many things. Often, they do get me into trouble and it would have been better not to have had them to begin with. Good interpreting!

      Like

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