Two Important Things? or – How Things are Different

I stopped doing almost everything when it occurred to me:  it was May 10th!  The reason that this struck me so odd is that, for the last two years, I have absolutely made it a point to go to Greenwood, IN and eat at the Olive Garden on each May 7th because that is where and when I had my stroke.

It has kinda been an “in your face” thing at fate because I am still here.  I sat in that restaurant eating and discussing things with my, at the time, girlfriend.  I remember hearing that “click” in my head and my eyes going double, but that was it.  Then, when we decided I had better go to a hospital, I remember that my left leg would not work much at all.  I don’t remember anyone offering to help, but I imagine I looked more drunk than in trouble.  Fact was, at the time, I said, “I am not drunk!” enough times that I am certain most people thought I was.  Regardless of the fact that we don’t date now, that woman (Barbara) saved my life by driving my stick shift to the hospital quicker than an ambulance would have gotten there.  That is my anniversary of life date.

Of much less concern, I realized that, several days ago, I passed 20,000 views on my blog.  I have been carefully watching this amount because, to me, it was a very special number and I wanted to make sure I blogged about it when it happened.  Then, that night, I decided that I had other things to say that my audience might find more important.  So, I put it off.

These two events are vastly different; however, they have one thing in common:  I didn’t do them when I was supposed to.  I changed my mind.  For the 20,000 views I understand that I made a conscious decision.  But, for the stroke anniversary, I have been talking about it for months and had even made some, tentative, plans with my daughter to meet there for supper (hope it was tentative.  If not, sorry, Dear Daughter!).

The fact is I realize I have changed.  The stroke is prominent in my life, but it is not the do-all and be-all anymore.  I have moved on.  I have changed priorities and living has taken over the aspect of almost dying.  I now can celebrate life instead of celebrating that I almost didn’t make it that day.

It has been a humbling conclusion.  To realize I no longer have to live by the “I almost didn’t” idea is, actually, a bit confusing.  It is difficult to move on, even though I have done it rather unconsciously.

It goes to show me we all have it within us to make monumental changes and decisions for those changes.  We are all able to move past things if we really want to.  My “unconscious” decision wasn’t unconscious, really.  It was a matter of conveniently forgetting that part of my life by changing its priority from a 1 to much farther down the scale.

Will I ever forget it? No.

Do I want to?  No.

How about you?  Are there events you have moved past that you never thought you would?  How did you do it?

Namaste,

Scott

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Comments

  • 4amWriter  On May 21, 2013 at 9:32 pm

    As you know from the post I wrote about my son’s tonsillectomy, I have experienced moments where I didn’t think I’d get through, but I did, and I have always been stronger for it. I think that’s what life is all about.

    Congrats on your 20,000 views!

    Like

  • behindthemaskofabuse  On May 21, 2013 at 7:55 pm

    How wonderful!

    Like

  • Carol Wuenschell  On May 21, 2013 at 4:36 pm

    Congratulations on having “graduated” in this way. To remember a bad thing and have it be significant in one’s life does not require cowering in its shadow.

    Like

  • Lily Mugford  On May 21, 2013 at 10:15 am

    Wonderfully told, you have a new life now, different yet still the same. Congratulations from moving from looking at what might have been to what is possible.
    I have a significant anniversary coming up, one of an ugly betrayal and the upheavel of my world as I knew it. You have given me something to think about.Perhaps I will blog about it.. thanks for the idea.

    Like

    • kindredspirit23  On May 21, 2013 at 1:26 pm

      I would love to read it.
      By the way, just an opinion: sometimes, betrayal is a thing God can use to point us in another direction. This is one I have lived.
      Scott

      Like

  • thehappyhugger  On May 21, 2013 at 8:16 am

    I think its is wonderful how you can look back an see how much you have grown since your stroke. 🙂

    Like

    • kindredspirit23  On May 21, 2013 at 8:21 am

      Yes, and it’s even better when someone else notices and comments.
      That takes away the “it’s all in your imagination” part.
      Scott

      Like

  • Pauline  On May 21, 2013 at 6:25 am

    It seems to me that in so called developed societies people turn their backs all too often. I am not American, but sadly I have found Americans particularly so, when it comes to illness. An American ex-boyfriend of mine let me drive home ALONE when I broke my leg on his stairs, for example. Others have afterwards said they meant to get in touch to see if things were okay, but, of course, didn’t.
    By comparison, here in the Dominican Republic, when something goes wrong, local people make sure you have visitors every day and will travel miles on public transport to visit you. Just yesterday two of my local friends travelled 30 miles to take a virtual stranger to hospital. I wonder who has got their values right…

    Like

    • kindredspirit23  On May 21, 2013 at 8:19 am

      I hear stories about the DR (Linda straightens me out on them!). This seems more in tune with the DR she loves and lives in.
      I am glad it is that way there. There are parts of the US in which a lot of people can be / are that way, however, the general thought, I believe, is to leave people alone.
      Thanks for the wonderful comment.

      Like

  • lazylauramaisey  On May 21, 2013 at 4:30 am

    Fabulous post Scott. I feel the same way about my operation two years ago 🙂

    Like

  • Marisa  On May 21, 2013 at 12:38 am

    Scott, this was very beautifully written & I’m so proud of you and how far you’ve come since that life-changing day at the Olive Garden. You’ve gone from a guy who didn’t think lucidly in that hospital bed to an avid & successful writer & communicator. You are an inspiration to so many! For me, my life-changing event that I had to let go of or it would have killed me was a day when Josh was in High School… Because of his disabilities, he has been attached to my hip for sooooo long & my every waking moment was centered around him. As you know, he was getting older & he learned that the only people who would “befriend” him were the deviant kids. Often they allowed him to be near them, but there seemed to always be a pay off of some kind… Josh had to be the one to take the fall or do the things no one else wanted to do for fear of “getting caught.” One of the manifestations of his disabilities is the inability to reason. He couldn’t piece together that he was merely being used… Anyway, I was literally killing myself with worry. So, one day after josh hopped on the school bus, I remember falling to the floor, face planted in the carpet, and I wept!! I said to God that morning that I couldn’t carry the burden any longer. I absolutely & completely turned my son over the The Lord that day and I will never forget how I felt when I stood… I was free! I knew God held the control handles and the LOAD had been lifted. There are certain things in life that are completely out of our control… I never thought I would ever be freed from that intense worry, but I can honestly say that 5 years later I’m continuing to trust God & that He most certainly will always be there for josh as he muddles through life. Thanks for allowing me to reflect here! Hugs!

    Like

    • kindredspirit23  On May 21, 2013 at 12:55 am

      Thank you, Marisa for commenting and reflecting. I have come a long way. Thanks for seeing that. It means a lot since you have known me personally for years. I plan to get out and see you and Ron some day; this year is a train trip to Portland to visit Aaron. God has always run everything; I believe He simply allows us to meddle until we decide He can do it better, which He can.
      Scott

      Like

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