Two Important Things? or – How Things are Different

I stopped doing almost everything when it occurred to me:  it was May 10th!  The reason that this struck me so odd is that, for the last two years, I have absolutely made it a point to go to Greenwood, IN and eat at the Olive Garden on each May 7th because that is where and when I had my stroke.

It has kinda been an “in your face” thing at fate because I am still here.  I sat in that restaurant eating and discussing things with my, at the time, girlfriend.  I remember hearing that “click” in my head and my eyes going double, but that was it.  Then, when we decided I had better go to a hospital, I remember that my left leg would not work much at all.  I don’t remember anyone offering to help, but I imagine I looked more drunk than in trouble.  Fact was, at the time, I said, “I am not drunk!” enough times that I am certain most people thought I was.  Regardless of the fact that we don’t date now, that woman (Barbara) saved my life by driving my stick shift to the hospital quicker than an ambulance would have gotten there.  That is my anniversary of life date.

Of much less concern, I realized that, several days ago, I passed 20,000 views on my blog.  I have been carefully watching this amount because, to me, it was a very special number and I wanted to make sure I blogged about it when it happened.  Then, that night, I decided that I had other things to say that my audience might find more important.  So, I put it off.

These two events are vastly different; however, they have one thing in common:  I didn’t do them when I was supposed to.  I changed my mind.  For the 20,000 views I understand that I made a conscious decision.  But, for the stroke anniversary, I have been talking about it for months and had even made some, tentative, plans with my daughter to meet there for supper (hope it was tentative.  If not, sorry, Dear Daughter!).

The fact is I realize I have changed.  The stroke is prominent in my life, but it is not the do-all and be-all anymore.  I have moved on.  I have changed priorities and living has taken over the aspect of almost dying.  I now can celebrate life instead of celebrating that I almost didn’t make it that day.

It has been a humbling conclusion.  To realize I no longer have to live by the “I almost didn’t” idea is, actually, a bit confusing.  It is difficult to move on, even though I have done it rather unconsciously.

It goes to show me we all have it within us to make monumental changes and decisions for those changes.  We are all able to move past things if we really want to.  My “unconscious” decision wasn’t unconscious, really.  It was a matter of conveniently forgetting that part of my life by changing its priority from a 1 to much farther down the scale.

Will I ever forget it? No.

Do I want to?  No.

How about you?  Are there events you have moved past that you never thought you would?  How did you do it?

Namaste,

Scott