Impossible Dream

I did post a short poem below, but I could not help but post this clip which has 2 men singing a song that brought tears to my eyes.  I am not certain I have ever heard it sung so well.

Following that with a poem is nearly inadequate, but I will try:

The Filth that was

By Scott L Vannatter

Oct 29, 1985

The last trickle of water swirled

.               down the dusty drain

After the gurgle, I cried,

.               “Why is it always like that – –

.               swirl and trickle until it’s gone?”

Dingy porcelain stared.

.               “Purity…Hah!”

The purest just went down the sewer.

Now the cleaning begins.

Make it sparkle, white, pure

So no one will know the filth that was.*

___________________________________

*I marked out the last line in the original.

-What do you think?  Leave it in? out? does it matter?

Namaste,

Scott

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Comments

  • AnElephantCant  On November 15, 2017 at 8:53 am

    I liked the poem and think maybe it is a pity you question the last line, because that forces the reader into an inevitable focus to the detriment of the rest of it.
    Only you know what you wanted to say, so only you can decide.
    My only comment is that the last line makes it significantly darker.

    Liked by 1 person

    • kindredspirit23  On November 15, 2017 at 1:26 pm

      I have said, I like the last line, and, yes, I think leaving it out would confuse people. We need to understand that the poem is mostly about cleaning our lives up so people don’t see what they are really like. I don’t do this much at all anymore, but pre-stroke, I tried to put on a facade.

      Like

  • thehappyhugger  On March 22, 2017 at 4:35 am

    I like the last line too, Scott 🌸

    Like

  • Indira  On June 5, 2013 at 5:47 am

    For dim wit like me, the last line helped. Very good poem.

    Like

  • Becki Duckworth  On May 31, 2013 at 11:51 am

    i love the last line.. Poem made me think of my life..

    Like

  • thehappyhugger  On May 31, 2013 at 6:00 am

    I also think you should leave the last line in, it makes it more clear 🙂

    Like

  • Larry  On May 29, 2013 at 11:28 pm

    I like the last line left in. Without it I would be scratching my simple head in confusion.

    Like

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