Living in the Moment

I had thoughts of using this post to compare and contrast “Man of Steel” which I reviewed in another post >>here<< and “World War Z” which I watched tonight.  However, things seem to be moving along a different route – I, in case you haven’t guessed, have been thinking pensively.

Now, don’t go off the deep end for me, I am not lost in depression or some such; I am just realistically thinking and it isn’t necessarily pleasant, but it’s not bad either.  It depends on your chosen point of view.  I have decided that I am just thinking and that is good.

I spent most of the day yesterday on a road trip.  I drove a couple of hours to see a good friend of mine.  We had a movie day and got to know each other better.  She is a hoot.  She loves scary movies, so we had lots to do and to talk about.  Her guy lives quite a distance away and he was cool with it; that is refreshing, to say the least.  She is disabled; she lives in a wheelchair and, being disabled myself, that too provided a lot of talking time.

Thing is we didn’t see each other as disabled; we just saw each other as two friends who had to take a bit of extra time to do things.  She had an excellent term for it, but my fuzzy brain can’t recall it right now.

So, that collided with my experiences on dating sites.  She is disabled, worse than I am, yet she has a boyfriend who loves her and who she loves.  I kept wondering:  What does that make me?

Now, that’s where the depression could have set in; however, it didn’t.  What did happen was that I saw things just a bit clearer because of the previous day.

Two days ago, I had signed up to do online surveys to try and make some extra money.  This also led to accepting calls for MLMs.  None of the experiences were particularly good except that there is a service out there that I do like.  They sell online cards/delivery and seem pretty good.  But, that’s not the point here:  the point is that I got totally worn out answering the calls, dealing with the people, and sorting through the surveys.  The surveys formed hours of work and I wasn’t qualified for most of them, therefore, no money.  So, what I did was to wear myself totally out, then take an exhausting trip leading up to today.

Today, I am worn out.  I did go and see two movies, but they taught me more than that.  What I realized when the previews were coming on for the first movie was that I was already thinking into the second movie.  Would I make it in time?  What would I do if I didn’t?  Would this movie be good enough to be worth that?  Should I just leave now and go ask?

All those questions were shooting through my mind instead of simply enjoying the movie.  I realized then that what I was doing was what gave me so much trouble in my first marriage:  I wasn’t living in the moment.  Both my first wife and I were always living in the future, planning out about 10 years at a time.  It caused us both to miss the present, at least, a lot of it.

I stopped thinking and switched to living in the present.  I watched the movie and enjoyed it.  Then, I went to the second movie and found myself doing it again.  I had to stop and focus on the present.  I did and enjoyed that movie, too.

What I walked away with was a sense that part of my problem of being down about not dating and such was a ridiculous thing when I realized how much I was enjoying living in the present moment.  I have it pretty good and I needed to see that it stays good until I start letting the future take me out of it.  It was a deep conversation in my head and it is continuing now.  It’s good; I am growing…wow!

Namaste,

Scott

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Comments

  • Becki Duckworth  On June 25, 2013 at 8:33 pm

    I am so glad you got out. In the past I always lived in the future Scott, Wondering about finances, if we would have enough money to retire. Could I keep a roof over our heads when Ronnie was injured and out of work for over 2 years. And its scarey living in the future. Its exhausting thinking from one afternoon to the next let alone 5 years from now. Now here I am unemployed over 10 months and by most I am called an idiot for walking out of a very lucrative career. But I don’t give a rats ass. I am alive and more alive then ever. And so are you.If you want to project/think into the future then repeat positive affirmations about how wonderful your next partner in life will be and how happy you will be together. How deserving you are of love and happiness and allow it find you. .

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  • A Star on the Forehead  On June 23, 2013 at 2:13 pm

    What a great realization!! I too have to often stop and ask myself if I am in the moment. On my computer screen at work I have written several self reminders and one of them is :BE HERE NOW! Too often I am pondering about the past or planning the future, both worthwhile things but that often threaten to overshadow the most important thing: NOW. So, thank you for the reminder!! and I am very happy for you! The dating thing, it will come! 🙂 Many blessings! 🙂

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    • kindredspirit23  On June 23, 2013 at 10:50 pm

      Thanks for all the encouragement. Not heavily worried about the dating thing now. I have slept and thought and enjoyed life since then!
      Scott

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  • susielindau  On June 23, 2013 at 10:38 am

    Good for you! My brain has slowed down too. For years I was a racer and a worrier, now I just savor the present. That is really all we have. Life sure has its twists and turns!

    Like

    • kindredspirit23  On June 23, 2013 at 10:51 pm

      Oh, that took a stroke for me…glad you are finding it also. I imagine life has some very interesting things in store for you now.
      Scott

      Like

  • behindthemaskofabuse  On June 23, 2013 at 12:59 am

    such a difficult thing to live in the moment, but quite crucial eh?! Glad you had an epiphany!

    Like

  • Larry  On June 23, 2013 at 12:51 am

    That’s great! It’s always nice when we can straighten out our wrong-headed thinking and engage in helpful thinking instead. Glad to hear you we’re able to do this on your own. That is real strength! It gives me hope and strength for the next time when I find myself engaging in wrong-headed thinking that’s not helpful!!

    Like

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Philosophy is all about being curious, asking basic questions. And it can be fun!

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