Getting Back to Normal, at least, for Me…

I have not been myself over the last few weeks.  I look back at my posts and see that many of them were not very good, were not concerned with my main ideas here:  writing and feelings.

I have been trying new things out on here and some of them have failed, some miserably so.

Oh, the views may not have gone down, but I did notice how much higher they were when I stuck to my two aims.

I have been working on defining my blog – again.  I tend to change things up (ADD at work in an adult, I suppose).  I tend to forget what I started my blog for – a chance to help others see value in themselves.  I have expanded that concept, added to it.  Now my blog is supposed to run on a bit of a schedule:

Saturday-Wednesday is supposed to be a mixture of something that bothers me, something that amazes me, and something I feel.  Thursday is Friday Fictioneers – a chance for me to change and hone my writing abilities.  Friday is Five Sentence Fiction – another opportunity for me to write a bit more but still hone my skills.  It doesn’t always follow that exact schedule, but that is the deal 5-1-1 (5 about things, 1 about FF, 1 about FSF).  It was a good schedule and people liked it.

But, I gave in to the damned aspect that life changes (who’d have thunk it?).  I started feeling better and doing more outside of my blog; I started getting tired – again.  This led to late days, nights without much sleep, and posts having to be done in a rush, at night, when I was tired.  I began to S-L-A-C-K.

I can explain it to myself; I got too busy.  I am doing too much.  My days are filled, so my nights are squeezed.   I even got a little to the point that I felt pressured to do my blog posts.

This came to a point in the last few days when I did see my views drop (perhaps, due to the holiday coming up, but I prefer to use it as a lesson).  I rushed a couple of them and chose topics that, well, sucked.

So, here I am, trying to get back to normal.  This post is about feelings.  I feel terrible; I feel as if I have let you all down.  You follow me and I didn’t deliver as per usual.  So, here I am, back to it – feeling and writing about it.

What I will try to do is keep back to my original 5-1-1 plan.  The 5 may include some posts about movies; it may be some poetry; it may deal with some things that don’t come across as “feely”; however, I will tell you that my intent will be to show myself to you – through my views, my poems, my writing, my reviews.  And, I always want you to play a part in it.  I love hearing your responses.  You are my family and I thank you for putting up with my “boring” lapse into meaninglessness.

I will endeavor to stick to my plan and give you all feelings to deal with.  I will show myself in my writing and remember that you are not my audience – you are all, each and every one of you, someone I care for and feel  as close to as I can, given what you share back with me.

Namaste,

Scott