Here I Come…Whether I am Ready or Not

I wrote a post the other day about a young woman I loved in high school and how I hung onto that memory for years only to find out I was incorrect in the reason it ended.  There was a comment that came back from one reader telling me how much she loved the post.  That makes me very happy, but…

I wish people understood that, while I know how important it is to be personal on a blog, and that people love to read stories from experience (especially, those with heart), it is so very difficult for me to write about personal experiences.  I can talk about them one-on-one with someone I know.  I can discuss in a small group a lot of personal things.  However, putting it on virtual paper and passing it around the world is a whole other cup of tea.

I am a private person.  I live a lot to help others.  You can do that without sharing great details about yourself.  I find that I don’t mind sharing something with one person who has brought a similar problem to my attention.  I don’t mind generalizing my problems to help people understand a point.  Again, though, there is something about leaving it up on my computer (or on the WordPress cloud) so that people can go back anytime to see it, which bothers me.

I wish I wasn’t this way most of the time.  I hurt fairly easily.  This has changed a lot since the stroke (I got tougher and simply don’t give a sh** a lot), but it is still there underneath it all.  I don’t worry near as much what people will think, but I still try to avoid arguments and fights.  I find myself fearing what people who know me or were a part of it will think when I express my opinion on the matter and tell what I remember happening, or what happened to and inside me.

But, I am thankful for WordPress.  For well over 400 posts, I have been putting myself out there and you all keep coming back, many following this blog.  You take it all in stride and even compliment me, at times, for what I have gone through or what I think of it all – or both.

So, thank you!  Because of you all, I will continue to say what I feel and think and experience.  I may do so through a story, a retelling, a poem, or a picture, but I will do it.  Not only that, but you have enabled me to begin telling things I used to be afraid to talk about.  It’s good therapy.  I have decided that, if someone really snorts back at me (someone who was there or thinks they were hurt by what I said) I will talk about that and how I feel and what’s going on.  Again, more therapy.

It’s really all about that.  We are a community.  We care and we share.  You have each told me some things that have made me smile, cry, laugh, think, and all of them combined.  There has been no shock; it is just your life.  I will now try to do the same.

So, look out.  I am not certain what will be coming off and on, but it will be significant.

I love you all.

How does that make you feel?

What do you want to know about?  Ask…it helps me a lot.

Namaste,

Scott

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Comments

  • bert0001  On July 8, 2013 at 6:02 pm

    “I love you all. How does that make you feel?”

    Feels great. It is reciprocated. Always like your comments or ‘likes’, and I learned to know something about a far away author through WP, things that I would otherwise never have known about. Are these fact that makes one feel vulnerable interesting? Interesting might be the wrong word, but in this way, I can put those experiences in my life that converge with yours, a little in perspective. That means a lot!

    ” What do you want to know about?”

    … anything you feel like sharing 🙂

    Love and Light !!

    Like

  • Rev Dani Lynn  On July 7, 2013 at 2:40 pm

    I’ve ended up sharing things on my blog that are very personal and I hadn’t planned on that when I began. I found that I enjoyed blogging more than I had imagined I would and if I didn’t truly share myself, share what I consider personal (and I imagine that differs slightly from one person to the next), that my blog would be like a hollow shell, or like someone pretending to be something/ someone they’re not, not from being dishonest but from being incomplete. So many blogs I follow seem to share much of themselves. You used the word therapeutic. I believe it is just that on many levels for many of us. So much more I could say on this subject. – Over the past year or so I’ve also heard/ read through a number of sources that people that succeed in their careers and such, do so in large part because on some level, they “put themselves out there.”

    Like

    • kindredspirit23  On July 7, 2013 at 3:36 pm

      Now, that’s a comment! Thank you for all you said. I agree fully and have been one of those to “put myself out there” in other circumstances. I imagine that we follow blogs that share of themselves because we like that depth and we want to be a part of those groups.

      Like

  • Arman  On July 7, 2013 at 6:03 am

    I so agree with you. I don’t really mind sharing things on a one to one basis but I am weary of sharing deeply personal experiences and leaving them out here on the web 🙂

    Like

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