Leave Your Baggage

I will, hopefully, be going to visit my son in Portland in the near future.  I have never been there, so the trip should be fun.  I am also supposed to get to meet another blogger to see a bit of the city while my son finishes up work.

None of that, of course, has anything really to do with the contents of this post.  The “baggage” I am referring to is not your suitcases full of clothes; I am, actually, talking about mental and emotional baggage we all drag around.

I understand that when I meet someone, whether romantically or as a friend, co-worker, even as a person, our baggage comes into play.  I understand my baggage fairly well.  I have been the one to create it or allowed it to grow in my own mind.  It has been built out of the mortar of my two marriages, raising my children, working many jobs, going to school, and being raised by my own parents.  All of those factors, as well as choices I have made about them, have woven together into a mosaic of sorts.

The same is true for everyone else; they have their own mortar and mosaics.  I don’t know theirs fully and they don’t know mine.  I may get to know theirs over years, sometimes quicker, but I won’t know it as well as mine.  I also have little control over theirs; I simply have mine to work with.  The same is true of them.  We are responsible, in the end for two things:  First, how we handle our baggage and, second, how we portray our baggage to others.

Just as when I visit my son, how I handle my baggage is important, so is my mental baggage.  I wouldn’t go to my son’s and unzip my baggage and throw it all over his home.  I wouldn’t have him put it all away while I did something else.  There would be no need for him to even see, let alone deal with, most of my baggage.

So it is with the mental and emotional stuff I carry around.   There are times I fully share stories with him about things I have done, seen, and thought about.  There are other items best left alone to him.  Perhaps, I might share them with someone else under different circumstances, but…you get the idea

So, as with this title, most of my baggage should be “left at the door” when I meet someone.  I can’t force them to leave theirs.  My hope is they will keep theirs put away enough to give me a chance to know them.  Two people don’t really have a chance if they have to live up to all the standards both of them have garnered from the dozens of relationships they have had with all the people they have seen or known throughout their lives.  I think that is the problem with most love triangles; triangles in that it is the man the woman and the baggage.  Triangles don’t work well.  Give the other person a chance, whether lover or friend.  Simply get to know them, slowly, and decide on their own merits if they are worth your time or need to be added to your own baggage.

Got any baggage stories?  Share them, I promise I will understand.




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  • thehappyhugger  On July 12, 2013 at 7:08 am

    Something I have learnt over the years is that it is important to acknowledge baggage, ones own and others too. Once we acknowledge that there is and always will be baggage, it becomes much easier to understand one another 🙂


  • Subtlekate  On July 7, 2013 at 11:41 pm

    Yes, huge. My baggage just ended a relationship and not a good end either, but I shan’t throw it over your lovely blog. I hope you have a fantastic visit with your son.


    • kindredspirit23  On July 8, 2013 at 1:37 am

      Well, two things: First, feel free to “throw”. My blog will survive and this is what it’s for.
      Second, if you need to vent and want someone outside to hear – please email me. I do have large shoulders and am told I give good advice.


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