An Important Post: I Really Need to Hear from You!

Sometimes, life just gets to you!

My stats last night showed that I have done over 520 posts on “Kindredspirit23”.  Now, a few of those posts were years ago when I first thought I would blog and stopped after a few short posts.  I still believe I have done 500+ in a row since my new comeback.  I decided not to take the time to actually figure it out.  It doesn’t really matter.  I made a decision to be dedicated to this blog and have worked, valiantly at times, to do so.

Lately, I have become rather upset with myself.  I had not been able to grasp why until I decided to really sit down and figure it out for myself.  I feel like I am not getting anything done and that the world is rushing around me and through me.  It’s not a good feeling, and I remember it from before the stroke.  Don’t worry; it’s not to that point; I simply remember the feeling.  However, everything has a beginning, so ignoring these feelings might just be the start back to the old days and I am not going there.

So, I sat down and decided to figure it out.  I have always been good at that.  Sometimes, I have been a little too good.  My Dad used to tell me that I think too much.  I imagine, over the years, I have been guilty of just that.  In fact, I know I have.  The problem is that you cannot figure something out very well if you do not have all the facts.  I tried to figure out everything and everyone and, seldom, did I have enough facts to really do it.  Add the fact that I was OCD and ADD, depressed, anxious, and a very strong people-pleaser, and you have a formula to screw up any figuring out of relationships and people in general.

I have always taken everything to heart.  It has been my greatest asset in making and keeping friends, as well as my greatest personal enemy.  If I look back at my life in full, my “greatest asset” was, most likely, the very biggest contributor to my stroke.  It affected how I ate, how I talked, how I behaved, how I thought.  Everything, in fact, in my life, centered on my taking everything to heart.

I have been reading and thinking and changing since my stroke.  Up to that point, I think I was only preparing to change.  The stroke opened up floodgates of emotions and thoughts, allowing me to think more clearly and to begin the journey to learning more about me and why I am the way I am.

In case you are getting a little lost, this is me thinking.  I am, currently, sitting down and figuring it out.  This is one of the ways I work through things – I think and I write.  What used to happen was that I would get afraid of what others might think if they saw what I wrote, so I would put it away or delete it.  Now, I think it is good if others see this so I can get some feedback on what I am doing right or wrong.  Either one will help me if given in good spirits and with good intention.  So, when this is over – fire away.

I have always wanted to succeed, but I have not always chosen success.  I have always had it instilled within me to succeed, but have only learned, really, how to fail.  I see now a lot of it was because I concerned myself almost totally with pleasing others at the expense – well, at the expense of me, obviously.  I have stopped most of that.  I do things more for myself now, though there are exceptions.

Those exceptions can be important; I need to see them and to understand them.  One of the more recent ones has been trying to make my blog a big success.  By that I do not mean setting it up, sticking to the schedule, trying to choose posts that people will enjoy, or anything like that.  What I mean is my underlying worry that people might not like something I say in a post or that I would not have enough comments or views.

I have been told enough by my blog friends that my posts are a mixture and, usually, interesting.  I have enough followers and comments and views to let myself know it’s all doing okay.  Thank you for that.  You out there are responsible for all you read and say and do.  Where I have fallen short is doing so much that I, at times, do not like what I am doing – I am having a hard time liking my blog.  It began to be a job and I refuse to allow that to happen.

I believe it is all mental; it is simply a matter of changing my attitude and not, necessarily doing anything much different.  However, that attitude change is so very important and, instead of digging through myself without enough information to process it correctly, I have decided to turn some of that over to you.  So here is your “homework”.  Here is what I would love to hear back from you concerning:

1)       Do you love your blog?  Why?

2)      Do you every get overwhelmed with it all?  How do you cope with that?

3)      Any other words to help me cycle through this properly?

I look forward to hearing all you have to say.  You are all a very special brand of friends and family to me.

Namaste,

Scott

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Comments

  • Linda Stapleton de Martinez  On August 20, 2013 at 10:31 am

    Hi Scott, I don’t write a blog so I don’t know that I qualify to answer but I just wanted to encourage you and thank you for your rigorous honesty. I hope the people who can comment from experience shed some light on this for you and help you in your quest for understanding.

    With love,
    Linda.

    Like

    • kindredspirit23  On August 20, 2013 at 11:36 pm

      They have helped and thank you, Linda. My days have been full as I guess yours have too. We hear / talk to each other as needs be.
      I hope all is going well.
      Scott

      Like

  • Andrea Stephenson  On August 17, 2013 at 6:59 am

    I love my blog because it keeps me writing and feeling creative with short bursts of writing – I’m writing much more than I ever did when I just concentrated on my fiction as it gives me a focus. But yes, I do sometimes feel overwhelmed with coming up with ideas for the next post and also, keeping up with other bloggers’ posts – which I love to do, but there is so much to read and I don’t want to miss anything! If I feel overwhelmed, I just take a short break – and I find it helps that I deliberately decided to post once a week at most, so I’m not pressured to produce something too often.

    Like

  • Kate is  On August 15, 2013 at 8:18 pm

    Yes, I do love my blog. It’s been good therapy for me. I have stroke patients and I tell them to write so you’re doing a good thing there.
    I don’t however, get overwhelmed by it. I can take weeks off and not worry about it. It will still be here when I get back. Bloggers are resilient people and the will catch up with me when I return to their blogs. They are very forgiving if I don’t reach out to every post they make. If I get too much mail and the blogs I am following are just too much, I delete the mail and start again. I can’t let anything overwhelm me in my life and I’ve learned to put myself first.

    500 posts is a lot. How old is your blog? Perhaps you could drop it back to a post a week that you work on over the week.

    Like

    • kindredspirit23  On August 15, 2013 at 10:06 pm

      I think the problem does not lie in the number of posts per week. I do a daily one. If that gets to be too much I will change. However, I have figured out an answer to that one. I do 2-3 writing prompts per week as posts and that helps out a lot.
      I enjoy writing this much. It’s the other stuff that tips me over and I just need to not let any of it get to me. It usually doesn’t anymore. Thanks for the great advice. I will keep all of it in mind.
      PS – the post started, in earnest, about 510 days ago. 🙂
      Scott

      Like

  • jmmcdowell  On August 15, 2013 at 6:42 pm

    I do enjoy blogging, but I think it’s like anything else we love doing. Sometimes the energy isn’t there. Sometimes the ideas are elusive. Sometimes the enthusiasm wanes when good blog buddies take a break or leave blogging all together. A lot of my regular commenters are absent this summer, and I miss them.

    Maybe after 500+ posts what you’re really after is a bit of a change. Or even a rest. It sounds like there’s something in you that wants to be heard and maybe wants to shake things up a bit. It’s worth taking some time to listen as August said earlier!

    Like

    • kindredspirit23  On August 15, 2013 at 8:11 pm

      I am doing just that! You are right. My readings and my thoughts and things going on have led me, not away from daily blogging, but to some different avenues which, hopefully, I will pursue.

      Like

  • julespaige  On August 15, 2013 at 4:03 pm

    1. I enjoy my blogs, because I enjoy writing. I love my family.
    2. I get overwhelmed with all the implied you gotta read everyone who participates in every prompt (that you do), e-mails and responses that I feel I need to return. I just do what I can. And I have stopped worrying about reading everyone, and just try to visit those who visit me. There is only so much time in a day. My blog is my hobby, my game, I will not let it control my life – even if I keep the computer on when I am home and get a little thrill every time I get a new visit.
    3. Keep it fun, keep it real and there is always private e-mail if you need another shoulder to cry on. 🙂

    Hugs, Jules

    Like

  • August McLaughlin  On August 15, 2013 at 12:21 pm

    Such an honest, relatable post, Scott! I’m sorry to hear that you’ve been feeling overwhelmed. I love blogging, but there was a time when I felt overwhelmed. I now make it a goal to have fun with it, and write what my heart wants to. If I have a crazy week, I may post only once – or re-post an oldie. I do know one thing for sure: We’ve got to follow our hearts and listen to that little voice inside. When it suggests we change, I think it’s important to listen. Good luck!

    Like

    • kindredspirit23  On August 15, 2013 at 8:08 pm

      Yes, that little voice is very loud when it wants to be!
      I agree with you. I have so much fun with your blog. I love commenting on it. It feels good to share what I have learned over the years and be told, mostly, that I am right or, at least, a good type of person in those respects.
      Scott

      Like

  • susielindau  On August 15, 2013 at 10:02 am

    With my current situation, I had to take time off just when I had hit my stride. Now I find myself with some serious summer slacking issues with my blog, but I am halfway through another rewrite of my book. It’s a trade off for me. I figure I will get back into a rhythm after the next surgery is over with. Then everything will be behind me and I can move on.
    I can’t wait!
    Congrats on your 500 – 520th!

    Like

  • Douglas Macilroy  On August 14, 2013 at 10:20 pm

    Dear Scott,

    In answer to your questions—

    1. Yes. Because it is a reflection of me. Nothing false in there. If I have something to say, I say it. If I have nothing to say, it remains blank.

    2. I sometimes get overwhelmed with lots of different ‘it alls’, but I usually am able to put it all into perspective when I stare into the night sky and see our true place in the big picture.

    3. We are like steam rising off of a hot road after a summer’s rain. We are beautiful, but nebulous and our existence is fleeting. Enjoy life. Enjoy being who you are. Learn not just to be, but to see. Relax…. seriously….breathe deep and relax. It’s not the destination, but the journey. We never ‘arrive’, but we can learn to travel well. It’s all right. It’s all as it should be. And you are a part of it.

    Seems somewhat airy fairy, I know, but I chose my words carefully because you are important. You have significance. You matter.

    Aloha,

    Doug

    Like

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