Okay, here are two things I know:
1) Today I am supposed to do my Five Sentence Fiction entry for the week. I will do it tomorrow.
2) Everywhere people are talking about 2 things: Robin Williams’ death and Depression. I will make one more.
Seriously, I imagine there are dozens (or more) of posts on depression and Robin Williams made in the last few days. I was not going to add to them, but then I saw this:
Now, see? This one got me going. Why? Because I, too, have been there. I have sat in a hospital on a bed in a place where the doctor comes in, asks you a bunch of questions, then decides what happens to you. I have never tried suicide, but I understand it. My contention is that suicide is a very permanent solution to a temporary problem. That’s what I told the doc. Then I told him that there are just times I wish I had never been. He said, “Close enough.” and into the stress center I went. Two weeks to begin to solve a lifetime problem.
I prayed. I prayed and I tried so many things. However, for me, it took a stroke. When I awoke from my stroke, I was no longer depressed. I am anxious (nothing new), but not depressed. I don’t worry much about dying anymore (I have had that experience). I realize that life is great and that I truly need to focus on enjoying life and making it count.
Recently, I published a book on Kindle. I have also published in actual paper books 4 times and another time online. That makes me a published author. That’s a big one on my bucket list. Am I rich? Not with money, no. But, that’s not what I asked for (that was a separate thing!). I wanted to be published; I am.
The thing is: you truly don’t understand depression unless you have been there; that’s no joke. I had a lot of people and family say, “Let it go.” “Smile.” and “Just get over it.” None of those work. I saw a psychologist for years; I was on strong medication for years. Having the depression gone now just feels like such a load off of me.
So, I won’t tell all of you out there who are depressed to “get over it.” What I will say is “don’t stop trying. Don’t give up. See a professional.” You worried about the money? There are cheap and/or free places to go. Also, curing yourself or learning to deeply deal with it is so very important. Don’t be afraid to spend the money on yourself to get better. You can! Need someone to talk to? I am here.