Robin’s Gone, Now is the Time to Scream…

Source: Google Image Search (with license for reuse). Click on pic for page.

Okay, here are two things I know:

1)  Today I am supposed to do my Five Sentence Fiction entry for the week.  I will do it tomorrow.

2)  Everywhere people are talking about 2 things:  Robin Williams’ death and Depression.  I will make one more.

Seriously, I imagine there are dozens (or more) of posts on depression and Robin Williams made in the last few days.  I was not going to add to them, but then I saw this:

Now, see?  This one got me going.  Why?  Because I, too, have been there.  I have sat in a hospital on a bed in a place where the doctor comes in, asks you a bunch of questions, then decides what happens to you.  I have never tried suicide, but I understand it.  My contention is that suicide is a very permanent solution to a temporary problem.  That’s what I told the doc.  Then I told him that there are just times I wish I had never been.  He said, “Close enough.” and into the stress center I went.  Two weeks to begin to solve a lifetime problem.

I prayed.  I prayed and I tried so many things.  However, for me, it took a stroke.  When I awoke from my stroke, I was no longer depressed.  I am anxious (nothing new), but not depressed.  I don’t worry much about dying anymore (I have had that experience).  I realize that life is great and that I truly need to focus on enjoying life and making it count.

Recently, I published a book on Kindle.  I have also published in actual paper books 4 times and another time online.  That makes me a published author.  That’s a big one on my bucket list.  Am I rich?  Not with money, no.  But, that’s not what I asked for (that was a separate thing!).  I wanted to be published; I am.

The thing is:  you truly don’t understand depression unless you have been there; that’s no joke.  I had a lot of people and family say, “Let it go.”  “Smile.”  and “Just get over it.”  None of those work.  I saw a psychologist for years; I was on strong medication for years.  Having the depression gone now just feels like such a load off of me.

So, I won’t tell all of you out there who are depressed to “get over it.”  What I will say is “don’t stop trying.  Don’t give up. See a professional.”  You worried about the money?  There are cheap and/or free places to go.  Also, curing yourself or learning to deeply deal with it is so very important.  Don’t be afraid to spend the money on yourself to get better.  You can!  Need someone to talk to?  I am here.



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  • Michelle Styles  On May 26, 2015 at 2:42 pm

    For me suicide is the last logical choice to an illogical set of parameters. It was my attempt to stop the pain. I failed twice though in my second attempt as they wheeled me to the OR my heart stopped. I almost succeeded.

    Death would be a mercy. One I’m sadly denied.

    Liked by 1 person

    • kindredspirit23  On May 26, 2015 at 2:49 pm

      Hard to like than one. Always worth living – that’s my thing, though I understand. God, not religion, has been my guide. You might want to take a look at “Conversations With God” Book 1 by Neale Donald Walsh. It can be a game-changer, really. Ok, done with the no-denominational shout. Religion has all but ruined the idea of God.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Michelle Styles  On May 26, 2015 at 2:54 pm

        My faith has come back more and more in recent years. I was stripped of everything for a time. Most I can never recover, some is coming back slowly like faith.


        • kindredspirit23  On May 26, 2015 at 3:26 pm

          Faith fought hard for is remembered and usually followed longer. It is more real. All of my training when I was going to be a minister are gone. What’s left now is real.

          Liked by 1 person

        • Michelle Styles  On May 26, 2015 at 3:29 pm

          Mine was stolen for a while because I lacked the tools to save it at the time.

          Liked by 1 person

        • kindredspirit23  On May 26, 2015 at 3:31 pm

          Rebuild it. Like a computer, the newer may last longer and take more of a beating.

          Liked by 1 person

        • Michelle Styles  On May 26, 2015 at 3:48 pm

          It would take more of a beating now anyway. Given time and experience and not being a fourteen year old girl whose world was ripped apart in more ways than one and seeking answers from others that can only be found in myself. But at fourteen I was very ill-equipped to answer those questions. Like I say My Story is told with links to better details.

          If you want a peak at how ones faith can be stolen it’s all there, nearly every gory detail.

          Liked by 1 person

        • kindredspirit23  On May 26, 2015 at 3:50 pm

          I will look at it…


  • Kate Johnston  On August 18, 2014 at 8:29 am

    I’m still upset about it. I think this will impact my days for a long time. He was one of the good guys, and this world needed him. It’s a terrible loss.

    I think that anyone who is in such pain needs more than what this society currently gives. We are in too much of a hurry, too self-involved, too abrupt, and we miss a hell of a lot of warning signs.

    Thank you for sharing your story, Scott.


    • kindredspirit23  On August 18, 2014 at 9:45 am

      Yes, warning signs. Like the overweight feelings, the feelings of anxiety, stress, and rushing, and the symptoms of high blood pressure and high sugar levels coming months before a major stroke? Yes, I missed a lot of signs. I pay much more attention now.


  • Denise Hisey  On August 17, 2014 at 9:51 pm

    You speak truth when you say people can’t just ‘get over’ depression. It mystifies me why people continue to say such a thing. Denial, ignorance, fear. Doesn’t really matter…it’s not helpful.
    None of us know what pushed Robin Williams over the edge, but we don’t need to judge him. He wasn’t selfish, he was in pain.


  • SouthernHon  On August 16, 2014 at 5:03 pm

    This news got to me in a big way on Thursday. I was crying over absolutely nothing and everything. I have been touched by severe depression and all of the discussion was just too much to take. Thank God for counseling and good meds.


  • The Writer's Village  On August 15, 2014 at 5:00 pm

    Thank you for sharing. It was brave to do that, plus, I assume, uplifting to share it, a release – though probably scary, too.

    Thank you. I think we all have been there at one point or another, or throughout all our lives. Writers tend, I think, to be introspective, and I think that goes somewhat hand-in-hand with depression.

    I loved the video. I get all fah-klempt watching it. sad, enlightened, hopeful, smiling, sad. What an emotionally wonderful piece.


    PS I have shared it with my friends and family who have also been touched either by Robin’s suicide or by their own haunting – personal or familial.



    • kindredspirit23  On August 16, 2014 at 12:50 am

      Not so scary, … anymore. I almost gladly share that type of story now. It was scary the first few times on WordPress. What has made it easier is I have never once had a person get nasty with me or troll on me. You are a kind-hearted, great feeling bunch. It is a pleasure to share with all of you. Plus, there are a lot of blogs that are so much more sensitive and rough to read. The material is tough and really, really personal.
      But, thanks. I do still appreciate hearing that people understand it is personal info and sharing can be difficult at times.


  • vidhya  On August 14, 2014 at 10:57 pm

    It’s so nice to see someone come out with such a private incident from their life. I am glad you were able to get past it and take control of your life. I was once on that road and would have succumbed depression…I was unhappy and would take every private min that I get to cry it out…less motivation….but thankfully before things worsened and I had to see a professional, I realized my strengths and focused towards that. I was only 24-25 at that time….Of course I had a supportive family….since then, I never ever went back on that road and thankfully I understand how to enjoy life….Thanks for sharing Scott…Namaste


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