Five Sentence Fiction: Confusion – “It was a Dark and Stormy Night” Rated R

Lillie gives us the word prompt “Confusion” for this week’s Five Sentence Fiction. My contribution below, rest > HERE <  Enjoy!!!

Source: http://daksheshparmar.blogspot.com/2011/06/confusion.html Copied from Lillie McFerrin’s Blog – Click the Pic for the Page Reuse license assumed.

Confusion

“It was a Dark and Stormy Night”

By Scott L Vannatter – September 26, 2014

Jonus opened his eyes and listened with great confusion to the raging storm outside, matching the one going on inside him.

He could not remember anything about most anything except that his little girl had been murdered by two? no, three men.

He shook his head and felt the weight of the machete in his right hand, the handle dripping red onto a growing pool.

One by one he saw the bits and pieces of human beings scattered all around the old warehouse floor.

Then, shaking his head once more, he saw the two? no, three heads laying on the concrete and he remembered it all.

________________________________

Namaste,

Scott

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Comments

  • Claudia H. Blanton  On October 4, 2014 at 9:56 pm

    yes, an understandable state of rage, that caused confusion and murder, The death of one’s child can break anyone and turn them into something they would have never been before. Well done with this small space!

    Like

    • kindredspirit23  On October 6, 2014 at 3:05 am

      It certainly could/can. This came to me upon watching a show entitled “The Horseman”. It had a somewhat similar plot.

      Like

  • freyathewriter  On September 28, 2014 at 6:18 am

    Confusion, indeed. I wonder….

    Like

  • Shilpa Gupte  On September 27, 2014 at 1:40 pm

    Dark and intense! Liked it!

    Like

    • kindredspirit23  On September 27, 2014 at 4:10 pm

      Glad you liked both!
      Please go to my blog and read “Keeping Watch” under one of the top pages on the left side. It was done in sections – the last group (9 I think are the entire story in 9 sections). I would love to hear what you think!

      Like

  • ranu802  On September 26, 2014 at 2:48 pm

    It is sad story.

    Like

  • cammiesonthefloor  On September 26, 2014 at 7:20 am

    Have you ever seen the movie Momento? Reminds me of this.
    Dark but good

    Like

    • kindredspirit23  On September 26, 2014 at 8:00 am

      Loved “Momento”!
      This was written right after I watched “Horseman”. Very gritty, very rough.

      Like

  • John Yeo  On September 26, 2014 at 6:12 am

    WoW!

    Like

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