When you read the following post you are going to wonder why in the world I put a picture of Amanda Palmer here. So, I will tell you. Amanda is a heroine of mine; she has become a role model of sorts. She is herself and that has caused quite some turmoil. I hope to do a bit of the same myself, someday… I wish she could read this and make a comment! That would, indeed, make my day! (It doesn’t hurt that I find her very attractive either)
There was a project being done on YouTube about what would you say to your younger self if you could. I have lost the link, sorry, but I imagine you can find it, should you choose to do so. It was about 2-3 minutes and very good. But what it really did was get me thinking: What would I really say to me?
I mean, come on, it would be great to tell myself to invest in Amazon, Microsoft, or even Walmart before they were even thought about. But, forgetting that, what would I truly say?
If I think about it, I am a product of every decision I made throughout life, every choice, every move, every … thing. How much would that change if I went back and warned me? If I knew I was going to go through two divorces, would I marry? Then, I don’t have my two wonderful children. The world would be a worse place without them, that’s for certain. Would I marry then leave right after they were born instead of trying for years to work through something that wasn’t going to work out? Then, my two wonderful children would grow up totally different and might not be the loving, kind, great people they are today. How about trying harder to work out the marriage? Nope, been there tried that.
I guess I might be okay with telling myself that I should have more confidence and be more assertive. My life might have been happier and fuller. I also doubt much that I would have the same friends, experiences, jobs, memories as I do now – in fact, I know I wouldn’t. Then, how could I make the right decisions? How would I be able to guide my children, my students, you all as my readers?
The answer to all the above is: I couldn’t. It wouldn’t happen. Life might be better for me, but I am not certain it would be any more fulfilling. My life was tough, no doubt about it now. I got stomped on; I got beat down a lot; I cried myself to sleep on more than one occasion. What came of that? Well….here’s what:
I became the me that I am now proud of. I became the me who had the stroke which gave me the time and mental fortitude to become published, to write a blog, to keep writing a blog, and…
To sit here and realize that life is just as it needs to be. Period.
So, what I accomplished by deciding what I would say to myself is to reinforce my mantra:
Everything works out in the end; if it hasn’t worked out, it isn’t the end.
That’s what I did. Good for me!