Read this post to get where I got my thoughts… 4Am Writer: Life Without a Mom
Okay, now…I visit Dad in the nursing home 5 nights a week from about 8:15pm-12:30am or so, whenever he falls asleep or I have to leave…because 3 days a week I take Mom to see Dad at dialysis. We go to see him at 10am, then eat at Cracker Barrel, then do some errands, see Dad leave dialysis about 3pm, then back to the nursing home. Mom goes in for awhile and I go home, nap, eat, then go to see Dad.
Interesting life from the person who didn’t much care for his Dad until lately. It isn’t that I didn’t like him; I just didn’t see him much and we didn’t talk much. As it is, we don’t talk much now. Dad enjoys watching sports and I sit there, looking at the TV sometimes, commenting or listening to him, and I watch the tablet – poker, Facebook, CBS, NBC, whatever…
He seems to like just having me sit there. I am told that nearly every night, about 15 minutes after I leave him sound asleep, he calls for the night person, to get him something or other. I think he is just lonely then and wants to see someone else.
I visit Dad and I sit there and we just know each other is in the room. Tonight, however (Saturday), there was no ballgame on, no real sports at all, so, … we talked for awhile.
We still don’t have much to say. A lot of it is Dad retelling me jokes and stories for the millionth time. But, he doesn’t remember that he has told me, and, frankly, it does me good to hear them again. Cause someday, someday maybe soon, he won’t be around to tell them and I will have to remember them. I should write them down, but I won’t. I don’t do things like that often. I will just have to hope I remember them enough to pass them on.
Realizing that, someday, his life will be a sketchy memory because Mom, Sis, and I will be gone, is a bit unsettling. I am not ready to go. Ever since the stroke in ’10 I don’t really fear death, but I am not in a hurry to see it either. I have a lot I want to do. Some of it is just beginning to materialize and I am sorry for that. I kinda wish I had started on some things earlier, but I guess we are all that way, too.
Well, Kate Johnston, author of 4amwriter, look what your post inspired. Thanks…I need to say all of this. I will need to say more, I imagine. Life is always asking us to do things – this one will be eternally on the net soon…