Why do Things have to Change?!!!

I remarked on another blog (Susannah Bianchi) that I needed to tell people more about my stroke and how it has changed my life.  She agreed and I said I would – and I will (promise), but I was watching one of those movies that “Guys” aren’t supposed to like – “13 Going on 30” starring Jennifer Garner and kept thinking the title of this post.  Why DO things have to change?  Now, that was a from-the-gut response to what I thought was a cute, wonderful movie that I enjoyed oh so much.  It only got a 6.1 rating of 10 but made 3x the money put into it.  I mean, does 60 some million dollars just not mean anything?  Guess not.  Anyway, the movie set in motion that part of me that always comes out at various unforeseen times.  It’s that part that wants a redo; I want to go back to about 10 and start over, knowing what I know now.

The sensible part of me says, “whoa!”, and it wins out in the end.  I realize that I love my two children (adults, I know) and wouldn’t trade anything to not have them around, but, if I knew what I know now and I knew they would be born, live, and be what they are now – then, I think I really would like to start over.  I am not certain what would happen, but it would be different.  There is so much I know and understand now that I didn’t have a clue back then (though, I often thought I did).  Can you imagine?  Pick your dream job, the one you always wanted and pursue it.  Don’t take much from anyone and take those chances you didn’t back then.

Now, I left out the part where I knew what stocks to buy when and how to end up a millionaire by 25, how to go to college and simply learn what you needed to get that job (if you wanted to work), and make sure you got up on accounting and business enough to handle your money.  In fact, working, probably, wouldn’t fit in very well with the life I would want to lead.  Imagine, buying stock (even a small amount to start with) in Microsoft, Amazon, Walmart, and Google!  Moving from stock to stock, shuffling hundreds, then thousands, then millions of dollars into sure-fire wins…  Now, forget that and just realize that you could grow up, be happy, and smart, and live that life you always wanted before/after/whatever.

I know I am not telling anyone anything new.  You have all thought about this in one way or another.  There have been a lot of stories written about similar things.  I may even do one myself soon.  But, the more I think about it, the more I love the idea, the very notion of what one “do over” could accomplish.  There has to be a downside…maybe having to suffer through high school again or live all those weekends in the country with little to do…but I don’t think so.  If I truly knew it was a do over, there would be so much to work on to get ready and I would have the benefit of already knowing the mistakes and the fun I had.  All those memories would exist.  Oh, and my stroke?  I wouldn’t need it to get on the right path again.  The stress would be manageable and I would be in different shape, think differently, and behave differently.  Would I marry?  Hmm, I doubt it.  Wouldn’t need all those memories either and I would know what to do with my life.  Philanthropist comes to mind…yes, and I wouldn’t have to do what Linus in “Peanuts” said when told about needing to be rich to be a philanthropist.  His comment:

I want to be a philanthropist with someone else’s money.

Nope, I could use my own.  And, if it all fell through?  So, I would know that, at 61, I could be disabled, bad memory, no job, — and still be happy!

Love you all,

Scott

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