Have these last few months felt strangely unfamiliar to you? Right? Well, I discovered this week (with the help of my stroke counselor) that I have triggers. I knew what they were, but I, certainly, didn’t think I had any. I have a friend who rages at times. The rest of the time he is wonderful, but at these moments, he is a different person. Now, he doesn’t rage at me, but at things in general, usually. I realized how angry I was after we had spent some time on a video game together on the Internet. I was seething at him and didn’t really care if I ever talked to him again. This bothered me because he wasn’t mad at me and I really like him. I mentioned this to my Counselor. We are gonna talk more about it on Monday. But, the idea is that my father yelled at me; my 1st wife yelled at me. Both of these people set me up to hear any sort of yelling as a threat to me as an individual. I want to discuss more with her on how to diffuse this, but I find it fascinating and it helps me understand others better. To an extent, I am an empath for angry feelings and yelling.
That was before my grocery trip to Walmart. I went there because my Insulin Rx is there. I decided to just shop since I was already there. Things had been decent in the recent past but, as things were starting to get back to normal, I noticed that the customers and, to a degree, the cashiers were getting a bit mean and dicey. It was not a fun, enjoyable, and relaxing jaunt. It was hard and I got home so tired of being out even for those few hours.
I read an article this morning. It stemmed from Facebook, somehow. Anyway, it was the general public’s responses to a LA article about how we are dressing during the pandemic. WHAT!!!???
We are just getting along the best we can! I figured the author must be one of those guys who finds it fun to steal little kids’ ice cream cones from them. I found out that, while I had never heard of him, he was kinda popular. I am not so certain that is true now. People were upset. This may have been an article on Twitter, which sounds right. Anyway, he/she stated that we are getting paid for sitting home, so we outta dress like it! I want to yell and scream at this jerk! I guess, in some ways, I am! lol However, now I remember. I wanted to know if I could safely wear shorts yet to the grocery. This article was one I can across: work from home
I did like this one that is satirical in nature (please keep that in mind): pants?
Finally, one more shot to the midsection for my last 48 hours. I chose that, for now, I would live more on a 2nd-3rd shift schedule and have told most people about this. That, basically, means I go to bed between 3:00-4:00A, read for an hour, then sleep until about 3P that afternoon. I don’t answer any calls except from my doctors or hospital, my Mom, and calls I consider emergency. I try to let all of them go to voice mail so that I either see the phone number or hear the voice. I am pretty firm about this. I have told my family and friends and, for the most part, enjoy my days. I had a stroke (severe) about 10 years ago and it reset my brain. I don’t sleep well, so I simply make use of the hours I can’t really sleep well. I live alone, don’t really date and with this virus, don’t go much of anywhere. So it should be fine. One of my friends doesn’t agree and tends to call me between 2 and 3 in the afternoon. It throws me off of my early schedule and, for instance, I literally forgot to take my Insulin until almost 2 hours late. My answer to this, after some thought, is that instead of getting angry, I am going to consider it his fault and simply not answer anymore until after 3 and take my time calling him back. It might appear passive-aggressive, but I think it is a positive approach to not having the same talk again in which I tend to lose my temper.
Well, that’s my weekend. How was yours? Oh yeah, I still have Sunday to go, don’t I? lol
Namaste, Stay Safe
Scott
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