Category Archives: Humorous

A Week in the Life of…

It has been a long week.  My Sister going through radiation/chemo treatments for brain cancer, having just finished it for colorectal cancer, and knowing she has one more surgery and rad/chemo round to go for the third type of cancer she has Merkle carcinoma (think that’s right) on her leg.  Mom is stressing over this and having some health problems, while I am still recuperating from my hip surgery in April.  There are good things happening:  I am getting my sugar count under control, I am working out 2-4 times a week, Sis is responding to the treatment.  So what didn’t go so well?  My love life. Looking back on it, I should not have even started it, but…we are all human I guess.  I would have advised someone else against it, but you decide…

Last Friday night I was looking through “my matches” on a popular dating site.  This site would allow me to see women from 44 on up.  The site has proclaimed that allowing more age difference than this can lead to problems of things…  I prefer to look at a bit younger, but that’s the policy, so I live with it there.  Anyway, I had selected a group of women to look at.  I was seeing if proximity was a problem, if they smoked too much, too many children, and so on.  Just trying to avoid most of the problems I normally run into.

I finally had it down to 3 or 4 that I would read in depth and decide if letters were going to be sent.  One, in particular, caught my interest.  She was in her early 50s, attractive (the photos were obviously from when she was younger, but fine, deal later- why do men get in so much trouble if WE do that very same thing, but it’s okay for women?).  She lived in nearby Indianapolis.  I answered her letter, stating we should “Talk” (that means talk through the website, normally). I send it and go to the next one.  Within 5 minutes she had responded.  Her response was to say, “You’re right, we should talk” followed by her cell number.  I don’t usually do that, but I was the one who used the word “talk”, my fault, I supposed.  I send her a text and got an answer very quickly.  This conversation started at about 12:30AM and ran into the wee hours, mostly because reception in my area is so poor.  I went to sleep for a short time, waking up to realize that she had already deleted her account and I hadn’t spoken to her at all.  I was tired and upset and tried to call her number…a few beeps, nothing more.  I texted her and got an almost immediate response.  She explained all that she had done, moving most of it away with the idea that she was in the military intelligence and all were “under surveillance”.  She also was not sure what had happened, but she was 32 and stationed in New Jersey.  For the next few days we texted.  I spent some time early on researching dating scams and seeing how she fit into them.  She didn’t, but one article stated that some went on for months or years gaining your trust to get the payout at the end.

She was looking to get serious fast (one of the earmarks of scams) and was furious when she found out I could not give her children.  She then asked about adoption.  I didn’t think this was sounding much like a scam, but I didn’t tell her anything I haven’t said here or on Facebook.  We continued through the weekend. I would like to say we shared information back and forth, and we did, but each time I asked a question she would take sometimes hours to answer.  She said she was at work and couldn’t talk all the time, but this happened off-hours, too.  The worst thing that I saw was she had a temper and moved too fast through everything.  She was talking about marriage and living together and we hadn’t even met. These things finally got to me.  I ended it on Tuesday in a text that she didn’t respond to for over 6 hours.  She texted back and told me that she didn’t know why I was so negative about things, but she didn’t need that in her life. bye.

There was more, of course.  I did Google her and her pics, checked out the NJ Military base, even sending an inquiry to personnel about her existence (word of advice – be careful with that one.  You may have to tell her and that is not fun at all!).

I don’t know if I was being Catfished or if she was legit and just young and angry. Doesn’t matter now; it’s done.  I am glad.  The entire thing wore me out mentally and even physically.  It wasn’t worth it, I don’t think so, anyway…

What do you think?

Namaste, my friends,

Scott

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Whoa! Didn’t Quite Expect That – Guess I Should Have

On Jun 8th, I shared a post on Facebook.  It drew attention I hadn’t really anticipated.  Then I decided to answer the attention.  Then I decided it was, perhaps, worth a post to get some of your responses.
Below is the post.
Image may contain: 1 person, smiling
June 6 at 5:14pm · 
Comments
xxxxxxxx: Well 7 of 9 supreme court justices don’t agree. Plus all the things listed people are refusing to sell, not make. Finally they have just showed the intolerance that groups have for people with religious beliefs. The very thing they rail against. WHY would you even consider forcing and giving your hard earned money to someone who doesn’t approve of your lifestyle, there were surely other bakers who would have been happy to take the couples money. So whose being the a#%h@*”?

Scott L Vannatter
Scott L Vannatter You know, the only reason I posted this was because so many people use their religious beliefs to belittle and tell people why they are wrong. I have friends who are LBGT. Not all of them are great people. But, notwithstanding the fact that they have their own prejudices, most of them are pretty tolerant of an awful lot. Not all religious people are bad either. Not all of them stand behind their prejudices 100% either. I have friends on both sides of the fence. I like those people, not because they can’t stand something, but because they are just nice people. xxxxxxx, I have to admit I didn’t fully understand all you said. I didn’t go and look up any of the “facts” you stated. All of those may be right. There is some evidence of intolerance for people with religious beliefs who have prejudices toward others who don’t share their beliefs. I also don’t know who created this as far as I don’t know her as a person. What I do know is that the LBGT has to tolerate a lot more prejudice, in general, than pretty much any religion (perhaps, other than Muslim). I am not siding with anyone here. I found it Funny and a finger pointing at most groups we have. I think the key words are “hides his bigotry behind religion.” Not all religious people do this. However, there are those who are truly afraid of anyone who disagrees with their religious beliefs. My spiritual beliefs are very open and I am happy with that. If you are happy with your own religious beliefs, wonderful. I wouldn’t try to change yours. I believe in allowing each person the freedom to follow their heart and soul as long as they don’t forcefully tread on someone else’s right. Thanks for commenting. 
Would love to hear your comments,
Namaste,
Scott

Really Mad, not “Acting”

I got up rather early for me, this morning, about 8:30.  That’s early because of going to bed at 3:00, but still…

Anyway, got up, got breakfast ready, then computer time for email, and beginning-of-day stuff.  While I was going through email, I saw one of those ads about seeing pictures of all the stars and their children taken at the same age.  It is basically to show how much they look alike.  And, they do, for the most part.  What was, at first, annoying, then, infuriating, was the person assigned to write the captions to all the pictures.  I think it is so cool to see the resemblances between parents and children, especially if I haven’t seen or, perhaps, don’t know the children.  That is what I wanted to see and hear about.  Yes, I wanted to know if they followed in their parent’s footsteps.  Yes, I wanted to know how they were doing.  What I didn’t need was a caption-by-cation talk about how “we hope so-and-so got a good inheritance”, “so-and-so doesn’t need a good inheritance”, and so on and so on ad adnauseum (yeah, that may not be right, but you know what it means).

It’s as if not a single actor or actress today would think of doing anything but living off of Mom or Dad’s money.  I know there are a few…mention those.  But to keep harping on the financial independence so much made me so upset, I quit looking at the pictures and stopped to write this post.  I mean, really, kids are not truly that bad.  Yes, there are some (read that as “a lot”), however, many many kids in their 20s and 30s do work and work hard.  To have to keep saying that “so-and-so certainly does or doesn’t need the money” only tells me that the caption writer did no research, had no time to write, did not care about the subject.  All of these are good reasons not to publish such stuff until it is done right.

Maybe I am just flipping out, maybe I am just tired, but it seems to me that there is more to the stories if people would just take some time (something not prone to do in today’s world) and study their jobs at hand.

*The “” were mine for emphasis, not to be construed as a direct quote.

Namaste,

Scott

What are We Running Here?

I don’t know precisely where this post will end, what note it will finally rest on, but here it is (me being tired and all).  I awoke early this morning to my computer.  I logged in, signed on to Comcast, and there was a headline about Roseanne being cancelled.  I had to look further.  When I poked around Google for a bit, I found what I was looking for, which was not what I was looking for at 7:10AM on a Wednesday.  I had not planned on watching the redone “Roseanne”, just wasn’t my cup of tea in the first place; however, to see that the TV station and Disney had dropped the show so early made me read on. I am not going to repost Rosanne’s tweets. I don’t feel that is necessary.  I suppose I have to agree with Disney and all as if I made such a statement at work about someone in my company, I would find myself in the boss’s office facing the demise of my job or, at least, severe disciplinary actions.

I am not in any way saying her tweets were proper, correct, or anything positive at all.  They pissed me off.  I didn’t care for the cooking lady who made the racist remark either back a couple years ago.  However, something has my attention here.  Now, I voted for Barack in the first election.  Thought, perhaps, he could help things along.  I, personally, was disappointed in the first 4 years.  Now, that may have been news prejudice, I won’t say it wasn’t, however, even today I am not really happy with those 4 years.  So, I didn’t vote for him the second term. I am allowed; it’s my right. And, I shook my head when he won, but then, I did acknowledge him as our President.

Now, I have gone on written record here as saying that I voted for Trump.  Well, actually, I voted against Hillary.  I was surprised and pleased when he won.  However, I need to ask:  why have Rosanne and so many others get into so much trouble for making comments like they did and our President, whom I am not pleased with, has made some comments on Twitter that have surprised the heck out of me.  I won’t say he has come right out with any racist remarks, but he picks on everyone who doesn’t care for him and there seems to be no repercussions.  Now, I am not saying to impeach him or anything like that.  It simply seems to me, in my own humble opinion, that the leader of our country should have better things to do than get angry on Twitter.  Again, some of this may be the other side’s bias news, but not all of it is.

What I see is a glaring split between what a movie or TV star can get away with and what people with real power can get away with.  I know that much of our Senate and Congress are not a whole lot better.  There are many laws trying to be passed that are simply ridiculous.  There is much being done and said that should outrage everyone.  I am not saying to get rid of all of them (though limiting terms would be nice up there).  I am just saying keep a level playing ground.

Rant done and I feel better,

Namaste,

Scott

On Hating Yourself…

Let me preface this with another TED talk.  Watch it if you wish, it is rather sad, but informative...The Depressed Comic.

I watched this and what it truly did was to bring back memories.  Memories of my youth, my 20s, my 30s, my 40s, and even some of my 50s.

A lot of the blogging world knows me.  They know Scott, the guy who had the NDE when he stroked out at a restaurant, and who came slowly back to life and health to be who I am now. Yep, a lot of you whom I call friends know that me.  Some of you out there know some about that earlier me.  Some of my friends around me know that me; some of my family even, however, I don’t think anyone knows the early me very well.

I say this because of a discussion/confession I had with my Mom not too awfully long ago.  This was a discussion about my late Dad.  We were talking and I spoke up (finally) about how Dad only gave me two options in college:  Doctor or Minister.  I went to high school with only those two opportunities under my belt.  I dreamed of other things, but those were it.  Dad said either make good money or serve God.  I said this to Mom and her response was, “No, he didn’t.”  My response back was, “You weren’t there.”  This went on just a bit and I told her there were a lot of things Dad told me that she, most likely, didn’t know.  I always assumed she was in agreement with him (why wouldn’t I?).  I told her about how mean Dad often treated me (actually, to him, it was just manly, the way you were supposed to).  She didn’t believe me, at first.  She just kept saying, “You know your father loved you.” It was almost a question.  I told her that I know that now, but then?  I was little and it didn’t feel like love.

I tell you all that so you can understand that I went to college as a young man who knew nothing of sex (it wasn’t talked about), little of life, and studying a subject that I only thought I wanted: religion.

I saw God as “our Father”, mean (for our own good), merciful (to a point), and punishing (if you didn’t follow His ways).  He was my father, and, to be truthful -it scared me- but I didn’t really like Him.  There was a side to me that was wanting to know about sex, about young women, about life, about death, about everything – you know, normal.  And, I had become so scared of what the world might think that I gave it all up to be the “perfect” giver, doing everything for everyone except myself.  Because of this, I didn’t sleep, got sick often, had stomach problems, was nervous, and had a deep complex about myself.  I wanted to go to Heaven, but “knew” I didn’t deserve it.

I got married, raised two wonderful children, got divorced, dated, remarried, took care of two other children, saw mine on scheduled times, tried to please everyone, and was tired, miserable, still sick, and heading toward a reckoning.

That reckoning had begun when my local doctor had prescribed Prozac, the wonder drug, for me.  I felt the difference the very next day.  Life lifted, colors were brighter, I was better, a little happier.  I stayed on Prozac quite awhile, quite a bit during my first marriage. I went off it, without asking my doctor, and, about a month later, had a bad episode.  Now, things get fuzzy in this time, so I will just summarize:

I began to get worse, my marriage was falling apart, I started to see a counselor.  He passed in the last couple of years and I wish I had seen him one more time to tell him all of the good he did me. Anyway, I continued working, went through my second divorce (one that took longer and was harder on me), got to the point that I threw up every day after work and would walk miles until I could handle being home and still.  I was constantly afraid of nearly everything and had high blood pressure (partly handled) and just a mess in general.

Finally the break (not a break, but an episode) where I had to call my parents to come get me and, over dinner at Pizza Hut, talk them into taking me to a Stress Center.  Actually, had to go to emergency ward and tell the doctor that “No, I had considered suicide; I just had times when I wished I weren’t around.”  I checked into a Center and stayed two weeks.  Did me a lot of good, but the doctor who treated me was later found guilty of Medicare Fraud, lost his Indiana license, and I don’t know about jail or fine or whatever.

I went back to work, within a few weeks I went back to the Center for the weekend (I was told this was quite normal), then lived very skittishly at work and home.  Actually, I had moved back home with my parents and made a 45 minute commute daily to work.  My routine was to get up, work, drive home, watch TV till 10, go to bed, and repeat.  On Friday evenings, I immediately began worrying about Monday morning.

I quit my job after about 6 years over stress and all, tried to write a book, then went back to school to teach elementary school and thought my dreams had come true.  I got to teach special education for 6 years, but had never handled my stress, depression, and anxiety very well.

On May 7, 2010, in the evening, I was on a date with my girlfriend.  We were having a discussion/argument over staying together and I had a stroke.  She took me to the hospital and, for the next 15 months.  I went through rehab and counseling before trying to go back to teaching.  I made it 7 months,stopping in Feb of my 7th year, and became disabled.

I have found that, becoming disabled, has been the best thing for my life.  I have also learned that Life works this way, God works this way.

The stroke reset my brain, as is often the case, and I became settled for the first time in my memory.  I have problems: issues with balance, trouble with double vision, a bit of weakness here and there, and short-term memory issues.  However, my OCD disappeared, as did my depression.  My counselor gave me that diagnosis, saying that while I still had a little anxiety, she found no depression!  I take a small anti-depressant/anti-anxiety (always good to cover both, I am told, as anti-anxieties can bring about depression), but am just very happy, positive, and see life as loving.  I am upbeat, outspoken, and unafraid to talk about anything (sometimes a bit too much so, I am told).  I am a new person.

And so, I started my blog after leaving teaching and here I am: whole and happy.

Now, you know a lot more about me.  Do you need to talk?  Do you want to share?  I am here bookman23@comcast.net.  I am not afraid to take that step with you.  Read other posts…you will see.

Namaste,

Scott

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