Just a Touch of … Fear?

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Well, this has turned out to be a scary week at the end (beginning, too, since today is Sunday).  I have spoken many times of my stroke and of the good and bad things that seemed to have come of it.  I still believe it is more of a Godsend than anything else.  There are simply too many joys to be happy about than bad things to worry about.

However, here is a small worry (bigger if you are me).  I last posted on Thursday.  I don’t remember  (could look, I guess) whether I did it Wednesday night and posted Thursday or did it Thursday and posted then.  Regardless, several things have happened since then to worry me a bit.

First off, in checking my email on Saturday, I was surprised to find over 300 emails waiting for me.  Now, depending on the time of day, I can have a bit over 200, normally about 180.  These are mostly posts from all the blogs I follow.  I select and choose and delete down to a decent number each day.  It’s a schedule and I like it.  However, having 300+ emails means I missed a day, possibly two.

When I say “missed”, I mean “lost”.   See, I compress (for want of a better word) time since the stroke.  This means that I have time pass (sometimes days) and I may not think about it having passed.  However, usually, I can, at least, remember the days.  I remember thinking “It’s Thursday”,”It’s Friday” and “It’s Saturday”, however, what I did is a bit fuzzy (esp. Friday) and, apparently, I didn’t check my email on either Thursday, Friday, or both.  Thursday is the most lost in my mind, Friday right behind. That makes sense, but worries me.  Normally, I can think back and put it together; this time I simply can’t without looking at other things like receipts or talking to people.

This isn’t Alzheimer or some such.  I really don’t think I am getting worse.  I did not sleep well on Thursday or Friday.  That really tends to mess with my mind.  I was told that lack of sleep will intensify some of my problems, memory being one.

The real problem is the entire thing simply unnerves me a bit.  I check my email every day with enthusiasm.  I have reminders to do these tasks and I have a set morning routine.  I remember vaguely upsetting this routine, not with emails, but something else I normally check.  I suppose this could have led to the downfall of my schedule and the reasons I “lost time”.

Anyway, does anyone out there have these types of problems?  How do you cope?  How do you handle it once it happens?

Namaste,

Scott

Ah, Now They are Starting Down the Right Direction!

I just finished an article in Unworthy about the brain.  Read it, then we will talk a moment.

Article From Unworthy

Now, they didn’t go in the exact direction I took as I read the article.  The doctors are still looking at a direct connection between the brain and the lymphatic system as a way to see if that connection is malfunctioning, how they can fix it to cure Alzheimer’s disease.  I would look at it as a new strong connection and now, the brain can cure cancer and Alzheimer’s, and such.  We can picture our connective system working perfectly. We can project this healthy outlook onto the lymphatic system and direct it to work for us, curing us.

This is a matter of visualization taken at the level I use it in prayer.  I picture, discuss, describe what I choose to have happen and then allow it to come forth as it needs to.  My body will work as I direct.  I have cured and healed myself of many problems.  Not all.  I am not perfect at this.  However, also, all of the problems I currently have led me to this point where I get to share and talk with all of you.  My story is out there.  My beliefs are out there.  That would never have happened to Mr. Scott V, teacher, and all-around-good-guy.  I needed to expand.  Losing my ability to teach has given me this ability to teach more to a greater audience.  It might not be exactly what I would have chosen, but it sure seems to be working out that way.

Smile.  The whole world smiles with you (and, secretly, they are wondering what you are up to).

Namaste,

Scott

Love, Memory, and the Bottle

Tonight, I have a story for you – a true one.  I got permission to share the story if I didn’t use any of the real names or places, so I won’t.  But, since I don’t know the real names, I won’t use any.

This is the story of Hubby and Wifey.  Now,  they had been married a long time and were rather up in their years.  Hubby was beginning to suffer from Alzheimer.  Wifey liked to drink a bit.  In fact, they were at the point where Hubby would get lost a lot and Wifey had 4 bottles of wine a day.  So, see?  Just your usual suburban older couple.

One day, Wifey got a bit tired of Hubby and when he went out into the garage, she locked him in.  He had his coat on, so the cold wouldn’t bother him.  After that, she kind of forgot about him.  Hubby, on the other hand, did not like being locked in the garage.  So, he pushed the door opener.  The door was slightly broken, so it only went up about 2 feet.  This did not deter Hubby, who merely lay down and crawled rolled out of the garage without Wifey even knowing.

He then began walking.  Now, after a bit, he forgot where he was.  He decided to stop at a house.  Wifey, knowing her Hubby was so forgetful, had gone to all the neighbors and passed out her business card and explained about Hubby’s problem.  This neighbor was such a one.  The neighbor was nice and helped Hubby get back home.

In the meantime, the garage door had never been lowered.  This, eventually, set off the house alarm system and called the police.  When said neighbor returned with Hubby, there were 3 police cars parked in front of the house and Wifey was upset and hollering.

Isn’t it wonderful that boredom will never gain a foothold in this house?

I will also mention here that other time when Wifey put Hubby upstairs and then, apparently, drank enough to forget where he was.  She called the police and, while explaining to them about the situation, suddenly heard him and told the police to nevermind, he was upstairs.

Yes, I am looking so forward to getting older!

Namaste,

Scott