
I want to play about two paragraphs of catch-up, then go on with the post. I have a lot of people who have joined me as of late and I want to make certain they understand the madness person they are dealing with.
I was a mess growing up. I was smart, witty, funny, shy, and a botched up turmoil inside. People liked me, but I tried hard to make sure of that by doing what they wanted and sacrificing my self-esteem to do so. I had friends but never let anyone really inside my head. I lived in a fantasy world of books, movies, TV, and stories I made up. The outside world was a place in which I was always afraid and failing in. I continued this process through over 50 years of life, two marriages, and – the best thing I every did -> my two children.
Finally, on May 7, 2010, my body gave up on me and I had a horrible hemorrhagic stroke. The first post talks about the stroke and a lot of my feelings. The second one tells, mostly, about this past year or so. The final one is what it says, a coming to terms and is a lot about prayer. Read one or all or none of them. The post from the title starts after these three posts.
My stroke and my feelings
My year 2012
Prayer and how I see it
Okay, now, what has writing got to do with it? I love to write. Actually, I love a lot of things and writing is one. This is very important to both you and me as we finish out this post. You see, while I love writing, I find that I write some stories, then stop and do other things for quite awhile. I can blame it on having to watch how I feel or that my fatigue level is really high or that I want to see if I need to rewrite any of the ones I have done; however, the short of it is, I like doing a lot of other things, too.

What made me think of all this was August McLaughlin’s post “Blogging Commandments: What Works for Me“. It’s an excellent post, well worth your time to read, but my point was that I saw it as saying that I should be wanting to write more rather than blog. And, I don’t, not really. I enjoy the daily blogging procedure – read posts, post one, answer comments, not always in that order. I learn a lot by the reading and by the comments – heck, sometimes, I learn a lot by the post as I am writing it! August wasn’t criticizing me or anyone else in her post; it’s the way I read into it. I realized that I have been kinda hard on myself for not writing 40 hours a week. I have realized how ridiculous that is for me, especially now. I cannot work much more than 4 hours a day and that has to be split up. I can’t concentrate well enough to write a book, but stories seem to flow well.
But, bottom line, I enjoy all of you people and your thoughts and your little eccentricities. I like that, when I read something you have written, I could almost tell you in one post that it was you. I know enough about 20+ of the blogs I follow to be able to do that. If you gave me a paragraph out of 12 different selected bloggers, I bet I could match the names to the paragraph. That is great to me. If I know you that well, then we are friends in the best sense of the word. And, the way a lot of you treat me, makes me feel that friendship goes two ways.
So, what does writing have to do with it? Not so much, it seems. What seems to have the most to do with it is a sincere desire to know you all well and to give you the opportunity to know me as well or better. I think we do a pretty good job of that. I will still write my stories, but I feel pretty good about what is going on right now. I am disabled and can’t work, so I have the small luxury of being home and able to blog more than write. God is pretty smart; He knew I would excel here, and I am.
Love you all.
Namaste,
Scott
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