Tag Archives: breaking up

Breaking up? May Be Tough…

If you want to read more—click on the picture for another article.

The article below is my topic for tonight.

Breaking up is hard to do

It seems strange to us “oldsters” who have broken up with people over the years and been able to be quiet about it for, sometimes, long periods.  I mean, in high school you couldn’t unless you went to a really huge school because people knew everything.  Even the teachers knew most of the boy/girl hookups.  College was better, even in the small college I went to (back then) you had a lot of people who knew who you were with and all, but it wasn’t headline news if you broke up.

Today is different for most people, even us olden ones.  Facebook, in my opinion, makes an absolute mess of relationships.  People discuss it; girls talk about how lucky someone is or how could she, while boys, well, boys will be boys.  It just gets blown out of proportion when there is an argument if either person lets go on the net or if a friend does.  How does this sound?

Girl1:  how are you and Guy1 getting along?

Girl2:  I don’t want to talk about it on the Net.

Girl1:  That bad, huh?  Don’t worry, girl, he’s not worth it.

Now, that might not be so bad except that Girl3 is a friend and can see this communication just by watching.  If she tells something to Girl4  who, in turn, tells Girl5 and Guy 2, there could be trouble.   Ever play telephone?

Now, Girl 1 and Guy 1 get back together, but then Guy1 is told by Guy3:

Guy3:  Man, I heard about you and Girl1.  That was such a mean thing she said about you.

Guy1:  What?  What did she say?

Guy3:  Well, she said… (and proceeds to tell him what Girl5 told him without telling him who told him)

And now, the breakup is back on.

The worst is that this could all happen on the Net, on Facebook, without anyone coming face-to-face.  You could lose your sweetheart, win him/her back and lose again without even seeing the person.  Don’t kid yourselves, it happens.

People, I think, get too caught up in the “Reality” of Facebook and the Net.  Face it, it is much easier to say something to someone if you are typing or texting it and not standing right there beside him/her.

We are making relationships almost as disposable as water bottles anymore.

What do you think?  Facebook good / bad when it comes to relationships?

Do you have a horror story about it?

And, we haven’t even gotten into Online Dating!!!  Another time…

Namaste,

Scott

Where’s the Beauty? Conclusion.

Part Two – Conclusion

Yesterday’s story had a point and the point was made; however, there is an ending to the story that should be told. It is quite bittersweet, if not sad.

Those two ladies and I were the best of friends. The young woman I had the argument with, let’s call her Sally and the other woman, Jane, and I were excellent friends, almost the three musketeers.

Sally and I never dated, but Jane and I did fall for each other and go out. In the beginning Sally thought this was great. I later learned (from Jane) that, mostly, Sally would enjoy hearing all about our private lives because, of course, we would tell her because we were such good friends. The problem became that both Jane and I were very hushed to Sally about our love life for several reasons.

Three’s Company? Yes, in a lot of ways!

And, of course, right or wrong, we both spent much less time with Sally as we spent more time as a couple. This angered Sally and she was a conniving person when angry.

So, first she got her ducks in a row, then, when talking to Jane, asked her if I had ever told her how beautiful she was. She thought about it and realized that I hadn’t. This led her to the beginnings of doubt about our relationship.

Then, Sally talked to me about whether or not I had told Jane how beautiful she was. Obviously, I hadn’t and this led me to wondering about our relationship.

Now, Jane was not truly physically beautiful; however, she was very pretty, and smart and caring and funny and a good mother who also took care of her mother and father in her home. However, Sally put that doubt there and it did its job and ate through the relationship.

Revenge just never really works out no matter how you plan.

I finally broke up with Jane. Jane’s reaction was horrible; she had never had a person break up with her; she had always been the one to end things. She stopped going to the Parents Without Partner meetings and quit talking to both Sally and me. I found out about two months later that she had married a guy and moved out west somewhere and that they were in counseling for marital problems.

I figured out what Sally had done and stopped talking to her altogether. I found out later that she had gotten pregnant with twins, had not married the father, and was making due on her own.

Years later, I recognized her last name as the owner of a mortuary. I called and he informed me he was her uncle. He would not tell me anything about how to contact her (protecting her, good for him), but did let me know that she was doing well and that he would let her know I had called with concern.

Linda, your comment brought those memories back to me. I see all the lessons that are in this story, but the biggest is simply how friendships really change once problems, even really correctable ones, enter into them.

Jane and I, obviously, had other problems in our relationship than me simply not telling her she was beautiful. It hadn’t made any difference until Sally started in on it. And, Sally, in my opinion, was fairly vindictive. I was a mess and had a lot of growing up to do.

Things happen; things change. I do wish I could see those two just to observe where we all are in life now and say I am sorry for various things. I learned from all of it and that is the big point.

Argument and breakup; there are lessons there.

Have you had a huge mess-up like this in your past?

Have you lost friends over things that could have been easily worked out?

_
Namaste,
Scott

saania2806.wordpress.com/

Philosophy is all about being curious, asking basic questions. And it can be fun!

North Noir

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