Life is perfect, but sometimes, it Sucks

Last Thursday my Sister, Darci, died from cancer.  It had been a couple years of battle, since just before Dad passed 2 years ago last July.  Mom, at 83, has had a rough time taking care of both of them, I had my stroke almost 9 years ago, now – finding out that the funeral for Sis will come on a high of 0 Degrees with significant windchill has made it even rougher.  Topping it off, I fell yesterday, hit my right brow, took 19 stitches, I look like Frankenstein, and today it hurts like … well…it hurts.

I don’t write all of the above for pity or condolences, rather I write the above to perform some catharsis and come to grips with it all.

This is not a bitching post or hateful one or even a particularly sad one.  I write this because all of you out there (and the numbers keep growing) are my friends, people I share my life with and turn to when things get rough.

Well, I am turning.  I know and believe with all my heart that life is perfect, that it all works out in the end, even if we don’t see it.  Yep, I am one of those…

But even so, sometimes, life just sucks – this week is one of those weeks, topping off a no-so-great month and past couple of months.

So, call this what you will,  I had to share it with you all.  Thanks for being there.

Namaste,

Scott

The Days of Our Lives

I used to watch a lot of soaps.  That’s what happens when you work 3rd shift.  You get up in the middle of the afternoon or stay up in the morning.  My very favorite, actually, was “General Hospital” and I loved Laura.  She and her guy were always in the middle of something, as was everyone else in the soaps.  I used to be amazed wondering how people could get so complicated and messed up.  Then…I got older.

Let’s just take this year, now 3/4 over and summarize for me.  Let’s see, I started out the year still getting very ill (at both ends) for about 4-8 hours 1-2 days a month. Had to postpone hip surgery because of that and the fact the illness threw my already-high sugar off too much.  Sugar was high due to Dad’s passing the year before and my sister contracting 3 different types of cancer.  I, finally, got self-diagnosed (and supported by medical staff) to have gastro-parieses (sp?) which came from high sugar powered by stress.  Had surgery on my right hip on April 17th and Sis had brain surgery on April 18th.  It took me until about the end of July to get kinda back to normal totally and exercise 2-3 times a week and work just a little on the house.  Sis had another surgery and radiation during the summer and we arrive at September.

Now, September brought Drs visits and other such medical things, as per normal now, but October starts things out again.  Sis is scheduled for more radiation as the summer surgery did not get it all.  Then they will look at scans to see if the radiation killed all of what was left of the cancer or if they need to do more surgery.

I have developed such a severe pain running from my hip around my knee and to my ankle and the front of my foot I had to go to a chiropractor.  He helped me with all my complaints except the hip, telling me I had bursitis.  I go home and look it up on Google to find it will “usually leave on its own in 6 weeks”.  Six Weeks!?  No way.  I go to my hip surgeon for my six-month check up review.  Hip is fine, but I don’t have bursitis; I have sciatic problems.  Great!  So, now I get to tell the chiropractor that it is his problem and he needs to address it.  I still don’t sleep well and have a daily schedule that runs from about 1:30pm – 3:30am up and trying to sleep from 3:30am-1:30pm, changing that for Drs visits and other emergencies.  Oh yes, forgot, in September, I took my car in for a “brief” fix on a heat plate only to find out the frame has totally cracked and the car should not be driven.  I am driving Sis’s car as she cannot drive yet, only to have her headlight go out and I have trouble at night when driving.

This is the Days of My Life as the World Turns…I am sure you can come up with similar statements.  So, soaps are not for old people – they are living them, anyway!

Namaste,

Scott

Another Request for Help

I do not like asking for things for me, but this is for Sis. I told you she had received the bad news of still having cancer. Tonight we celebrated her birthday and she had to go to bed about 1/2 way through the celebration. This was with her 2 granddaughters in attendance, something she would never normally do.
I am not asking you to give more. God knows you have done your part. But, if it is possible, please tell someone else of Darci’s situation, share it with another group, above all, please continue your prayers. I know God will see to it that we have what we need. I just feel I have to do this one request. It is my hope, it will just be updates after this.

Link: Darci Hill’s Go Fund Me
Love you all,
Scott

Help My Sister – Go Fund Me…

I stepped into new waters today by creating a GoFundMe for my Sister, Darci.  The three separate cancers are wearing her down and the money situation only made it worse.  I could not help much with the actual cancer part, but I did tell her I thought it would help to do a fund raiser.  This one should reach more people.  I struggled with doing it for about an hour and my learning curve went up in the process.  What I can say is that it’s a great idea and I hope it works as well as I think it does.

You can see it here: Darci’s Fund Raiser Donation

Please let as many of your friends see this (copy or reblog) and ask them to do the same.

Even those (like me!) who really can’t spare much, may feel $5 to be okay to part with to help Sis.

Regardless, thanks for reading this post.  I love you all, even if I don’t know you – my soul does.

Namaste,

Scott

A Day of Miracles

I had something happen this morning, then there were two things.  I didn’t think about them too much until I started thinking about Pam Grout and the LoA (Law of Attraction).  So, let me set this up correctly.

I have been dealing with a diabetic specialist.  He is good and friendly and looking out for me, but, unfortunately – I can’t swallow large pills – we had to disagree on my treatment for one medication and I couldn’t afford the other at this moment.  So, I imagined that he and his office were not very happy with me.

Also, I have been waiting on my CPAP device replacement materials for awhile and, knowing it is a Medicare-assisted service, I expected problems.

Okay, setup done.

Yesterday, I received my CPAP items.  I couldn’t really open them until late in the evening, at which time I discovered that -out of 5 itmes- I could only use 1 of them.  I sighed and knew I would be calling them tomorrow (Sunday).  Also, on Sunday, I was to fax the 1st two weeks of my glucose meter readings to the diabetic specialists.

Okay, so the setup wasn’t quite done.

This morning I dreaded having to deal with the CPAP people just because.  In my mind, I am saying, “I don’t want to do this.”  Now, I said this to myself most of the evening before.  So, actually, the phone woke me up (I was sleeping in, as per normal).  I looked at the caller ID and it was a pharmaceutical company and I almost didn’t pick it up.  Not really sure why I did.  The woman on the phone told me she was from the CPAP warehouse and that their manager had, for “some” reason flagged my order as incorrect and they had to call me!  I let them know he was right and we got it all taken care of in about 20 minutes.  They told me to put a return number on the package, seal it, and Fed-ex would be there to pick it up in 1-5 business days.  1-5!  I didn’t want to wait that long.  I told them I would take it to the Fed-ex mailing location about 10 miles away if I could do it today.  She put me on hold and came back to tell me that if I would leave it where it was dropped off (on my porch), the Fed-ex person would pick it up for me!  Didn’t even have to leave my house.

Then I went to FAX the glucose readings and finally decided my printer would scan but not fax.  I worked longer and then realized that there was an email address on the form.  I did the email and…it failed.  I tried it two more times and it failed.  I was upset because, now, I would have to call the office and, most likely, they would tell me I had to bring it in to them.  I called expecting a miserable conversation.  Instead, the receptionist simply said to try this email address.  I thanked her, hung up, and tried it!  Worked first time!

Two problems down before 11am.

I will also mention that I had been trying to connect my pc to my new tv as a monitor as it is bigger.  I tried for over an hour last night.  This morning, I got a little more dedicated to it and searched better and researched better.  What I found was I needed a $10 part from Amazon to make it work…ordered and arriving in a couple of days!  Basically, 3 problems solved before noon!  I normally sleep until 1pm, so wow!  LoA!  I love you.  Can’t wait to up the ante and push through the next level…

Reading a book entitled “Dying to be Me: My journey from Cancer, to Near Death, to True Healing” by Anita Moorjani.  This book is impacting me tremendously.  Wayne Dyer recommends it and I think he is great.  She dies from cancer, goes to the “afterlife”, comes back, and is healed within days.  Yes, I definitely want to read this.

Enjoy your day.  I am enjoying mine.

Namaste,

Scott