Tag Archives: changes

Ah, Those were the Days, My Friend…

If you have read much of me over the 10 years I have been blogging, you probably know I enjoy watching AGT, BGT, The Voice, and other similar shows.  I watch them on Youtube so I get to watch what I want when I want.  Facebookers know well I stay up late and a link given at 2am is nothing new to me.

My favorites are varied, but one kinda stands out: the female soloists and a few other solos and duets.  I have shared most of them on here, but spread out through many posts.  If you have really paid attention to those posts, you might know I also shed a few tears off and on.  They are, a lot of them, expected tears – the female who is so very shy or very young, scared to death or believing herself to be undeserving of praise or fame who just blows them all away.

But, there are others that hit me and I can’t always figure out, specifically, why.  I got an inkling today.  I am in a somber mood; my heart is open and my emotions are kinda strong while my body is tired and my mind just on slow forward.  I watched a couple and started thinking about my life and me.  When I was in school, I was not a basketball jock or a baseball dream or a wrestling tiger.  I was shy, much more shy than now, and I could think, make friends, do well in school, and … sing.  I was not the best singer in the school, but I was up there.  I never got a first at solo choir contest, but I did get 2 third places and a 2nd place.  My shyness is what held me back.  I did go to Indiana State Choir as an alternate and spent 4 weeks in Europe with a choir/orchestra group singing to over 10 different countries.  But, I was in a group.  I could hold back and hide.

Now, my stroke did change me.  I am no longer shy.  I will speak my mind and if people don’t like it, then they shouldn’t listen.  I write more, not afraid of being seen nor read nor critiqued.

What I thought about today after those couple of auditions on Youtube was if I had been like I am now (minus the balance and vision issues – oh and the memory thing), what would I have done differently?  I believe all things are perfect and it was fine it went as it did, but what if…

Well, I think I might have spoken up, taken a different route, and ended up very differently than now.  I think I might have gone into the public speaking arena, written some good (really good) novels, and succeeded where I didn’t in this timeline.

It’s not regret, just whimsical wondering.  I don’t dislike this life, the one I have, or how it went.  I see how everything, things I liked and didn’t, came together and gave me gifts I would never have had without those failings, mistakes, and directions.  I might never had written a blog post (something to do) as something to allow me to write and have others read it.  I would  not have progressed that blog to now, when I am not afraid to say everything (and I have!).  And, I might not have had my children (whom I adore) or the friendship of everyone on here who knows me so well.

Thanks to you, my friends and blogmates, you have gifted me a part of your lives and allowed me to share, unafraid, a part of mine.

Namaste,

Scott

I am a Thousand Years Young

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Wolverine_%28film%29

Source: Wikimedia Licensed for reuse. Click pic for page.

 

There was another post on another blog recently dealing with what happens if humans live to be 1000.  I didn’t read it, just saw the title, but still it’s worth thinking about.  This article talks about longevity.  It’s short.  I will talk afterwards.

http://moneymorning.com/ext/articles/longevity/billionaires-buying-immortality.php?iris=353191&ad=too-far-sym

There’s still a few questions that would have to be answered if this became possible, and it looks like it may.

1) Four shots a year at what price?

I mean I doubt we are talking $100 a pop, and will insurance cover it at all?

2)  Side effects?

What if you could live forever, but your intelligence would drop, say 5%, every year?  Horrible deal.

What if you could live forever, but emotions changed?  I read a comic book years ago (many years ago) about the dangers of immortality.  The biggest one was that, if you can’t die and your family can’t die, you may well stop worrying about them as much.  Now, in the comic, it was true immortality; you could not be harmed.  There was never any reason to worry, so you would simply stop caring.  But, even if you simply got older and could still die, would you change how you feel?  Could you really stay married to one person for hundreds and thousands of years?  More, divorce would certainly have to change.  You couldn’t start living without enough for your “shots” every year.  That would amount to a death sentence.

3)  Population Growth?

We are currently filling up this old world pretty quickly.  Short of being able to move to another planet or start an entirely new civilization underground, we are running out of room, food, and clean water and air.  What happens when people stop dying as well?

4) Live forever, but changing? 

As with my title pic of Hugh Jackman, Wolverine, he doesn’t really even know how old he is because his body repairs itself constantly.  What if these shots fix our cells back 25 years or so, but if we have lost a leg or an arm, we don’t get those back?  What if spinal damage isn’t part of the fix?  If you have to live as a cripple forever, do you want to?  And, if you decide you don’t want to, what can you do about it?  Suicide is, currently, illegal, and you lose all insurance rights in most states.

I am certain there are more thoughts on this.  What are your questions?  How do you feel about it?  Do you think it will even happen?

__________________________

Namaste,

Scott

Two Important Things? or – How Things are Different

I stopped doing almost everything when it occurred to me:  it was May 10th!  The reason that this struck me so odd is that, for the last two years, I have absolutely made it a point to go to Greenwood, IN and eat at the Olive Garden on each May 7th because that is where and when I had my stroke.

It has kinda been an “in your face” thing at fate because I am still here.  I sat in that restaurant eating and discussing things with my, at the time, girlfriend.  I remember hearing that “click” in my head and my eyes going double, but that was it.  Then, when we decided I had better go to a hospital, I remember that my left leg would not work much at all.  I don’t remember anyone offering to help, but I imagine I looked more drunk than in trouble.  Fact was, at the time, I said, “I am not drunk!” enough times that I am certain most people thought I was.  Regardless of the fact that we don’t date now, that woman (Barbara) saved my life by driving my stick shift to the hospital quicker than an ambulance would have gotten there.  That is my anniversary of life date.

Of much less concern, I realized that, several days ago, I passed 20,000 views on my blog.  I have been carefully watching this amount because, to me, it was a very special number and I wanted to make sure I blogged about it when it happened.  Then, that night, I decided that I had other things to say that my audience might find more important.  So, I put it off.

These two events are vastly different; however, they have one thing in common:  I didn’t do them when I was supposed to.  I changed my mind.  For the 20,000 views I understand that I made a conscious decision.  But, for the stroke anniversary, I have been talking about it for months and had even made some, tentative, plans with my daughter to meet there for supper (hope it was tentative.  If not, sorry, Dear Daughter!).

The fact is I realize I have changed.  The stroke is prominent in my life, but it is not the do-all and be-all anymore.  I have moved on.  I have changed priorities and living has taken over the aspect of almost dying.  I now can celebrate life instead of celebrating that I almost didn’t make it that day.

It has been a humbling conclusion.  To realize I no longer have to live by the “I almost didn’t” idea is, actually, a bit confusing.  It is difficult to move on, even though I have done it rather unconsciously.

It goes to show me we all have it within us to make monumental changes and decisions for those changes.  We are all able to move past things if we really want to.  My “unconscious” decision wasn’t unconscious, really.  It was a matter of conveniently forgetting that part of my life by changing its priority from a 1 to much farther down the scale.

Will I ever forget it? No.

Do I want to?  No.

How about you?  Are there events you have moved past that you never thought you would?  How did you do it?

Namaste,

Scott

saania2806.wordpress.com/

Philosophy is all about being curious, asking basic questions. And it can be fun!

North Noir

DETECTIVE FICTION - A.M. Potter | AUTHOR SITE and BLOG

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