Tag Archives: Dairy Queen

Preferences are not Always Understandable by Others

I made my comments the other day that I do like broccoli and I don’t like steak.  My father looked at me and said, “I must have raised you wrong.” or something close to that.

I was reading Madison Woods’ post for today > the post < and the idea intrigued me enough that I decided that I would give her credit, then post my own thoughts on a similar topic.

My father’s inability to accept my preferences as okay seem to be in a kinship with a lot of other people.  I know a lot of individuals who cannot accept something that is different from what they like.  It’s worse if what they like is not normal and they still cannot accept yours as valid.

Food preferences are small potatoes (sorry, had to) when it comes to importance.  However, they illustrate well a point that covers everything from sexual preferences to political maneuvers to appearance.  If 90% of the world enjoys McDonald’s hamburgers and you much more prefer Arby’s, to the point that you think that the majority are strange, it is nearly understandable.  However, if I don’t care for McDonald’s or Arby’s ,but, instead,prefer a hot dog from Dairy Queen and you find that horrible too, how does that make you look?  That’s what I see a lot of in this old world and its people.

I have a friend who cannot understand my preference to date women who are younger than me.  Now, I have gone over a lot of this in my head and I believe I understand the reasoning I have.  Some of that reasoning is based on a simple what I find attractive; other parts are more complex and my interest in psychology tells me I may be a bit arrested on a particular stage of my life.  Whatever the reason, I am seeing quite a bit of change in how I feel now and who I prefer just on the note of age.  I have, I believe, moved past that part of me that was, perhaps, unwilling to grow older.  I have, I know, seen that younger women are, normally, less mature and not willing to look at life as I do.  Both of these psychological reasons are sound to me and have helped me to understand both myself and my growth and make adjustments accordingly.  My friend, however, is persistent on telling me that I should narrow my search to older women for the majority and ignores any progress I make on my feelings and preferences.  What it has accomplished is, basically, to persuade me to NOT change any more so that he cannot feel that he has “won.”  And I have found it irritating that I cannot allow myself to change as I see fit for the reasons I see fit.

This world is made up of individuals who do not believe the same way or prefer the same things.  That has created a world of vast opportunities as well as differences.  If we all liked the same food, there would be only one type of restaurant; if we all liked the same clothes, we would only have one type of store for clothing.  The fact is that there are almost as many different restaurants as there are foods.  When I was much younger, going to Burger Chef (which I don’t believe even exists anymore) was a real treat.  Now, fast foods are quickly falling behind to restaurants with a wider, healthier menu.  Clothing is going through a similar process as are books and other items we all enjoy to one degree or another.  When I look at how many stations are available now on cable and satellite, it scares me just a bit.  The size of the book of channel listings for satellite TV covering a month is a little intimidating to say the least.

As usual, I am digressing.  I tend to expand my point to other topics then to take off on those topics a bit.  Getting back, I have tried to figure out why people get upset when someone doesn’t care much for their particular likes and/or dislikes.  I believe I have concluded it to be a matter of feeling secure.  If I like something and you don’t, it may worry me that you may be liked more than me or that I am wrong and my choice is a poor one.  From this point, it makes sense that you would feel a little threatened by my choice not agreeing with yours.  People could see a difference as something that others would notice and not like you for, or some people might think that others would see your preference and think I am the same because we are friends.  I think this reason happens a lot in families.   One member is a little “different” and the others feel they may be compared to this member.  It does happen, but should we worry about that?

Do I have a right to my opinion, even if it differs from yours?

Are you threatened if someone doesn’t believe as you do?

How often do you choose your preference based on what someone else says or does?

And, finally, do you think two people can get along or even date or marry if they have a lot of different preferences?

Namaste,

Scott

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Philosophy is all about being curious, asking basic questions. And it can be fun!

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