Looking at This Last Decade
by Scott L Vannatter
A decade, 10 years, 1/2 a score, about 365 days, each day with 24 hours, each hour with 60 minutes, and each minute with 60 seconds – what an amazingly long time for such a short period.
January 1st, 2010, I am certain, was just as important in many ways as was this one. We ate, slept, loved, got angry, cried, purchased, sold, worked, and did most other things…as a society, that is.
Individually, we each were different. For instance, in January of 2010, I had not yet had that life-changing blood vessel explosion of May 7, 2010. I was teaching special needs students at New Castle, not knowing it would be my last full year of teaching and my last productive one. I didn’t know what lay ahead and planning lessons and trying to date were the most important non-family things I was working on. I was still part of a full family, Father, Mother, Sister, and Me. We were living, working, loving, arguing (at times), and glad we were all together for what we hoped would be a long, long time.
My Father changed that on July 25, 2016 at 82 yo. (Richard Vannatter) .
Dad had a lot of physical problems, but it was during those last few months he and I learned to get along and understand each other. Dad and I had, mostly, been at odds over one thing or another for a very long time. It seemed to me that, during his last few months, he was starting to understand life and also how it appeared to me. I was understanding he was human and subject to everything that meant and we were father and son. We parted truly loving each other, which was very important.
We didn’t get too much time to really understand and come to grips with things as Darci (Sis) was just finding out she had cancer (I refuse to Capitalize that word). In fact, she would turn out to have 3 separate types of cancer, one of which was very rare and the other being in her brain. Having those two types of cancer at the same time proved to be too much for her and her passing on January 28, 2019 started this year by, once again, rocking the world of Mom and me.
(Darci Hill )
Darci had a lot thrown at her in life, but she, mostly, faced it with a smile, a laugh, and the attitude her God was watching over her and all. Her passing had taken two people from Mom’s home in less than 3 years and taken two people from my life in that same time.
Mom took the deaths hard, easy to understand, and worked even harder carrying on. To this day, she has problems with her back and hip, feels the stress of living alone, yet smiles and enjoys the time we spend together. I am very glad to have her here.
I have had many blessings and problems over the last ten years. The stroke proved to be extremely difficult and I came away changed and fighting. I was determined to live my life and not go out until I was ready. My spirit helped me along and I altered, greatly, my spiritual beliefs, I feel for the best. Life has been rough, but new and exciting. I have gained new friends, new hobbies, new goals, and a new look at life as well as at death. The stroke reset my brain, taking some things from me (my normal sight – now double vision with my eyes not changing as one is dilated and one never dilates, my balance is off quite a bit and I am a fall risk, and my short-term as well as long-term memories have been damaged some), and giving me some things in return (a life without the mental problems of OCD, most unreasonable fears, and a deep sense of trust). It is different each day and I rejoice in that.
I have also gained a new and relatively unknown problem (to us, anyway) in my diabetes complications. I do not look upon diabetes as something I have; it is not something I am; it is merely in me for now. The new complication is called gastroparesis:
It took a long time for me to find out all about the condition. The above article does an excellent job of covering all but one thing: diarrhea. I believe this is because to have that problem the food would have to move out of the stomach. In essence, it would have moved out of the “stomach stalled” area and would just be a normal result of bad food in the intestine.
Regardless, the condition appeared greatly about 1-2 years ago. I thought it was the flu, but 4 times in 4 months had me going back to the Internet. I was, pretty much, confirmed to have this last April when I went to the hospital and found I was dehydrated (a common problem). I went back to the hospital 3 more times by June and, finally, was able to piece together all needed to keep me out of the ER, anyway. I continued working on this and, by October 2019, believe I have it under control enough to function. This condition has been alleviated by changing my diet as follows:
- Avoiding high fats (I eat food with no more than 6 grams fat listed on the label with 1 Hershey kiss or 2 a day separated by, at least, a meal)
- Avoiding carbs (I did this, already, due to diabetes, but have increased my watch to be much more careful. I am also now on Insulin at night).
- Avoiding fiber (I have cut back drastically on fiber as this is hard to digest)
- Avoiding high protein foods (you need protein but I no longer overdo this as it also is slow to digest)
- Drink excess water (my goal is 2x what I eat. This keeps liquids in my stomach allowing food to move better)
I also have made to med changes. I take a med to alleviate nausea, and thus, vomiting. It is a take-as-you-need-it med and works in less than 2 minutes. That leaves only one way for the bad food to pass – honestly, welcome as opposed to vomiting for 4 hours.
I have taken Omeaprozole for a long time, once in the morning. Now, if my stomach does not feel right, I take a second one.
I need to add to this regamine, exercise. That will come.
The one benefit I have seen from this condition: I have lost 28 pounds since April. I have also managed to keep it off as I don’t binge eat anymore. I have always prayed for my diabetes condition to leave. I understand keeping your weight under control and lower can help this to occur. At present, my sugar now seems to be regulated and remains fairly constant.
My daughter, Aarika, and I have decided to co-found a group on Facebook covering the Law of Attraction (Scott’s Group). This has allowed an open forum to help spread the idea and keep me learning more. The book “E Squared” by Pam Grout has helped me greatly and improved my understanding as well as practice.
Outside the family, the world has moved, also – affecting us as it turns. The general national (perhaps, world-wide) situations of Global Warming and the election and, now, impeachment of President Donald Trump have both done many things to change everything.
Global warming (If you don’t believe in it, then say the vast change of normal weather conditions globally) has surprised us this winter with warm weather, rain, and almost surprising snow a couple of times. Fall was warmer than normal and the trees did not lose their leaves in the normal timely fashion. My yard person was not able to rake up and remove my leaves until just in the last two weeks, something normally done in November. The world seems to be waking up to the fact we do influence things on a global basis, whatever areas you talk about, and also seems to want to help try and change them – good.
Mr. Trump presented something many did not see coming in total. I, myself, will admit to giving him my vote, though since that time he has not, at all, lived up to what I had hoped. Instead, this country is split and needs to take a good look at itself, both individuals and our government. Both seem a bit out of control and need a good idea or ten on how to straighten up. We will see. I know, whatever I thought he might accomplish is not going to happen. Still, as I believe in perfection in all things, I continue to hope for a great end, however that might come.
This has been rather long. I decided it would be suitable for a post on my Blog ( https://kindredspirit23.wordpress.com ), a letter to the family and my friends in email and on Facebook, and a reason for me to focus on this world and myself as we all need to do. Let this help to center you, set you on a good path, and enjoy the holiday for its wondrous timing – and I will have reached my goal.
Namaste,
Scott L Vannatter
Kindredspirit23's Blog 