Tag Archives: good and bad

Life Goes On or is it the Beat Goes On?

Life does not stare or smile or yell

Life does not make Heaven or hell

I started writing the about two lines intending on creating a poem about life.  After the two initial lines, I realized there was nothing coming forth.  That’s unusual for me and means I am either tired, sick, or simply not in the mood.  I am tired and I don’t think I am in the mood.  So, I was gong to delete the lines and start a post and realized that the lines have already started a post.  I just need to finish it.

Boomie Bol wrote a wonderful post on her twins finishing kindergarten.  As I read it, I waxed just a bit melancholy.  I realized I was reliving a bit of my past, when my children, not twins, finished things…kindergarten, and now I am remembering school, college, jobs, weddings, friends, boy/girlfriends, other parts of life for them.  Time is, indeed, fleeting.  More than that, however, time works hard to remove our memories, putting distance between them and us.  Our mind helps to bridge that gap.  My mind often falls short, since my stroke.  I don’t remember a lot of things and I know, in a small way, how getting old and having Alzheimer’s might feel.  Not a pleasant thought to dwell on.

I have been a bit negligent in my writings as of late.  I have not had much of the interest, to tell the truth.  Not wanting to stop; I simply let life get in the way.  After all, it’s more important.  I have been living and learning; my life has taken some major hits and some bounds in the last couple of months.  I have made several poor decisions and some decent ones; both have changed my life.

Both are also fairly personal, so I will not go into details, at least, now.  But, suffice it to say, my life has changed and, as a result, I have changed.  I am growing – I am a bit more critical and a bit more understanding.  I have glided through many days fighting aliens and mutated beasts online.  I have done some singing and some crying.  I have plowed through dishes only to see that my cabinet is, again, filled.  My kitchen table and countertops are a mess as is my dining room table – all just from ignoring the fact that I tend to make piles when I am not consciously trying to keep up.

Dad is in the nursing home.  We play chess, about 4 games 3x week, and I win the majority.  I worry about him as I see him forget, for a moment, how the pieces move or what exactly is going on.  I have tried picturing life without him and know I will continue, but as for Mom…

Sis is, today, taking her last rad/chemo treatment for her cancer.  Surgery is in a month, followed by more chemo.  They believe they will get it all and she should be fine, but, from having a stroke, I know that it will never be quite the same.  It will be better in some ways and worse in others.  I hope for her that, like me, the positives outweigh the negatives.

I have begun (into my 2nd month) of working out at Planet Fitness.  I go 3x a week for about 30-40 minutes.  I know that I am sore, tired, and thirst a lot – but I also see that I am walking farther, faster, and lifting more easier than I did.  That will have to be my strength – knowing that when I have my hip surgery in late July that I will be home in only a couple of days instead of 3 weeks like before.  I also notice a strong toning up in my abs and stomach.  I doubt I will ever get back to that well-honed person I was at 33, but still, I know I can be better…so, I will try.

Consider yourself as caught up as you can be for now.

I am getting ready to go work out yet again, then see Dad tonight.

Now, if only some beautiful woman would call, text, or drop me an email (sigh)…always the dreamer.



Beauty lies within yourself

The only impossible journey in life is you never begin!! ~Tanvir Kaur


Philosophy is all about being curious, asking basic questions. And it can be fun!

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