Tag Archives: losing time

Your Order has Arrived

Sometimes, it takes very little for life to not only remind us but to jump all over our weaknesses.  These last few weeks have been rough.  Dad in the nursing home, my visiting him most nights, taking Mom to dialysis for her to see him, wanting needing to clean the house, as well as dozens of other things.  I am not normal; I have had a major brain trauma (stroke) and I cannot function like others.  I know this; however, I usually don’t acknowledge it to affect me much very often.  But then, there is life, right there to spit and say, “Got ya!”

Yesterday, I had to order some new saline nasal spray.  I had read if you use it nightly (religiously), it will mostly wash all cold and such germs from your nasal passages and you will not get sick as often.  I have to say in the months I have done this, I have never had a cold.  I also ordered a package for my daughter’s birthday in October.  Both of these were from Amazon.  Also, know I use nasal strips to keep my nose open at night.  I will bring these all together in a moment.

Life is very interesting.  My stroke makes it more so.

I had to run the car in this morning early (after a very late night – another story) and wait on it to be fixed (1.5 hours).  When I dragged myself back into the house, I began to prepare to go back to bed for awhile (I haven’t made it quite yet).  I put on a new nasal opener and then stopped and counted how many were left – 25.  Then, my little brain began calculating and realized I thought I had bought 120 of them.  That means I had used 95 or about 3 months’ worth of the four it should last me.  “But,” I thought, “I just bought those a few weeks ago.”  That brought me to the saline spray.  3 of the big-sized bottles should last 3 months, “But,” I thought, “I just bought those a few weeks ago.”  I decided to look and found on amazon both had been purchased in June!  I could not believe I had lost all that time (well, not “lost” but “compressed”).  But there it was staring me in the face.  Then I saw the package I had ordered for my daughter had been “delivered”.  Angry the mail had lost an important package, I went to the front porch…the package was in the trash can I use for package deliveries.  According to Amazon, it had been there since Friday 18th!!!  That was 4 days ago!!!  I had not checked the mail in over 3 days!?

My brain is an amazing piece of work…note the word “amazing” has the base word of “maze” in it.  Yes, my brain has a wonderful “maze” in it loses time and compresses it.  It is mine and I am proud of it; however, day-to-day?  It kinda makes me shake my head…

How about you?  Do you have similar problems?  I was told that, as you age, these problems will happen.  I keep telling people, in my case, these problems began right after my stroke.  Counselor says they are being caused by the aftermath of the stroke.

Whatever the reason, I have to live with it.  Glad businesses do such a good job of letting you know about your packages and other orders.

Namaste,

Scott

 

Just a Touch of … Fear?

Licensed for reuse. Click pic for Page.

Well, this has turned out to be a scary week at the end (beginning, too, since today is Sunday).  I have spoken many times of my stroke and of the good and bad things that seemed to have come of it.  I still believe it is more of a Godsend than anything else.  There are simply too many joys to be happy about than bad things to worry about.

However, here is a small worry (bigger if you are me).  I last posted on Thursday.  I don’t remember  (could look, I guess) whether I did it Wednesday night and posted Thursday or did it Thursday and posted then.  Regardless, several things have happened since then to worry me a bit.

First off, in checking my email on Saturday, I was surprised to find over 300 emails waiting for me.  Now, depending on the time of day, I can have a bit over 200, normally about 180.  These are mostly posts from all the blogs I follow.  I select and choose and delete down to a decent number each day.  It’s a schedule and I like it.  However, having 300+ emails means I missed a day, possibly two.

When I say “missed”, I mean “lost”.   See, I compress (for want of a better word) time since the stroke.  This means that I have time pass (sometimes days) and I may not think about it having passed.  However, usually, I can, at least, remember the days.  I remember thinking “It’s Thursday”,”It’s Friday” and “It’s Saturday”, however, what I did is a bit fuzzy (esp. Friday) and, apparently, I didn’t check my email on either Thursday, Friday, or both.  Thursday is the most lost in my mind, Friday right behind. That makes sense, but worries me.  Normally, I can think back and put it together; this time I simply can’t without looking at other things like receipts or talking to people.

This isn’t Alzheimer or some such.  I really don’t think I am getting worse.  I did not sleep well on Thursday or Friday.  That really tends to mess with my mind.  I was told that lack of sleep will intensify some of my problems, memory being one.

The real problem is the entire thing simply unnerves me a bit.  I check my email every day with enthusiasm.  I have reminders to do these tasks and I have a set morning routine.  I remember vaguely upsetting this routine, not with emails, but something else I normally check.  I suppose this could have led to the downfall of my schedule and the reasons I “lost time”.

Anyway, does anyone out there have these types of problems?  How do you cope?  How do you handle it once it happens?

Namaste,

Scott

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