One of Those Nights

One of Those Nights

by Scott Vannatter

9/13/2019

So very much happens, sleeps eludes,but remains close.

One of those nights.

Darkness spills through the filmy shades of the room

Filling it with the fragrance of night and things dark and beautiful.

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I sit listening to David, telling of his love for a woman, in song.

One of those nights.

My own thoughts pour forth, silent and sweet,

Forming images of those I have loved in the before.

–

This starts the cycle again, past to present.

One of those nights.

The story, the saga of all the life I dropped into caring.

Putting myself, all I could bring up, into the desires filling me.

–

Those desires don’t rage anymore, simply take over, spilling.

One of those nights.

Sleep will come; it always does, well, mostly.

Resting once more, the morning brilliance overshadowing…

–

One of those nights…one of these days.

-Scott L Vannater 9/13/2019

The Secret

Today has been a(nother) life-changing day!  I have to give thanks to the universe (to God) who brought me Mollie Player some time ago.  He knew I would need her blog and her friendship to reach out again when it finally hit me.  Once again, my life will never be the same and I am happy for that ability; the ability to change my life; the ability to love and to live.

I read Mollie’s blog consistently.  I ascribe to her love of the “law of attraction”.  I understand it; however, what I didn’t know was that I still had a lot to learn about it, about life, about joy.  A post today on shyness had me thinking.  This train of thought led back to the book Mollie constantly talks about: The Secret.

I have purchased this book; I have never read it.  Today, that familiar urge to do something struck.  I wanted to read the book; more specifically, I wanted to understand the specifics of “The Secret”.  So, I went and began looking for the book.  I, finally, decided that I had sold or given away my copy.  I did find the book “TNT The Power Within You” by Claude M. Bristol and Harold Sherman.  This was one of the first books that propelled me on to understanding the idea of attraction and how to achieve whatever you believe.  But, it was not “The Secret” and that drive was still there.

I decided that I would go on Amazon and find a good used copy and purchase it.  I hated the idea of buying it again; it seemed wasteful.  With that thought in mind, I logged into Amazon and typed “The Secret” into the search engine.  I need you to understand something so that you will see how things in this universe work.

Some time ago I was dissatisfied with my cable TV.  I don’t watch it much; I watch movies.  I, finally, decided to let it go and try something else.  I tried Hulu.com.  This worked for a time.  Then, I wanted to watch TV, so I purchased a Roku box and hooked up wireless to my TV and subscribed to Hulu-Plus.  This also worked for a time.  Hulu-Plus had difficulty with accepting my PayPal account payments.  I got frustrated (not angry) and decided to drop Hulu-Plus.  Stay with me.

Now, I decided to try Amazon Prime.  I was becoming frustrated with it because I didn’t think I would enjoy it for an entire year.  I went in to drop it and try Netflix, but didn’t.  I didn’t because it gives me free two-day shipping on many Amazon purchases and I had used it once.  That saved me about $2.99.  I decided that I would probably save the $79 / yr fee just in the shipping and have the rest as a plus.  I also had over 2 weeks left on the promotion package and decided to keep it for a bit.

Now, today.  When I logged into Amazon and typed in “The Secret” the search engine returned a find in the Amazon Prime section.  When I went there, I found that I could watch “The Secret” free right NOW through Amazon Prime.  Had I dropped it a few hours earlier, this would not have been possible.

So, I sat, right then, and watched the movie.  It was as if it had been written for me.  The movie answered all my questions and helped me understand the why of so much in my life.  I am happy; I am much better than I have ever been in my life; however, here were ideas that will transform me much farther in life than I am now.

I want you to understand how all of this had to happen in the way it did for me to get to where I am at this moment.  Mollie, I know you understand this; it will not surprise you.  But, I am understanding that while I have come from my stroke and persevered into a fantastic life, there is still more.  I have allowed my thinking about my stroke to peg me into this particular life and have stopped there.  It is a fantastic life, but it can be ever more so.  And, now that I understand more, I expect this to happen.  I know it will happen.

I will begin that change now, today.  I have been preparing for it for many years and in many ways.  It has all come to this and my thinking is clear:  I will achieve my dreams now!

Thank you, Mollie, and thank you everyone for all the support and love and friendship you have given me.  I will speak more on this as it occurs.  Life is wonderful!!!

Namaste,

Scott