Tag Archives: mistakes

Running on Fumes

When I try to do too much, I wear myself down and then begin to do things that are…well…dumb.  I end up wasting time and losing things.  That happened today.

I began this morning far behind from working on my computer and was about 119 posts behind in reading.  I decided that, little by little, I would get them read and catch back up.  The links are all stored in my email in a folder called – wow – “New Posts”.  They are put in there automatically when I receive the email about your new post if I am following you.  I click on the link, read/comment on the post, then delete the email out of the folder.  When the folder is empty, voila, I am caught up.  Simple? huh?

Well, this morning I read a bunch of them and was pretty happy with myself, but I was rushed.  I have a lot to do by Tuesday morning and I was very tired this morning.  So, after a nap which I just had to have, I went back into my email to read a few more posts – What?!  The entire folder of “New Posts” was gone!  I checked and looked and, finally, had to come to the conclusion that I had, instead of deleting the email, I had deleted the folder.  Now, this action comes with a warning.  So, I actually did two things wrong and didn’t know about either.  What I am left with now is that I have to manually go through each of the people I follow (about 70) and read their current post and work backward until I hit a post I haven’t read.

Now, I know you are all out there saying, “Scott, you don’t have to read all of our posts.”  I know that and I probably won’t get to just by doing it this way.  I understand how wonderful you all are and that you will forgive me if I don’t get all of yours read.  But, I want to try.  I made this promise to myself and I don’t want to just let it go.  I enjoy reading all of them.  I simply mischeduled my time.  I wasted today sitting behind the computer watching a 12 part (12 min per part) minecraft tournament.  It was fun and it let me relax, so I will amend my statement to:  I spent today doing other things and than cleaning and cooking and reading posts.  That’s not necessarily a bad thing for me.

I keep thinking that, because I don’t work, I have so much more time than others who do.  Truth is I forget that the reason I don’t work is that I had a major stroke.  I fatigue so much easier and take so much longer to do things that I, in essence, have no more time than the rest of you, so I do get rushed – it’s just in a slower fashion.

I feel that stress now and, since I do, I am going to slow down.  I am going to do what I can and no more.  I have gotten to the point that I do understand that rushing in my case is very dangerous.  It can cause me to have another stroke, something I am not doing.

So, please don’t feel bad or whatever about all this.  I feel it is God showing me that it is time to stop and think.  So, I am stopping and thinking.  I wish I could take the time though to tell each one of you what you have shown me through your blog posts, your comments, and just the way you present yourselves.  It is such a beautiful world out there with you all in it.  I do simply wish I had the money to come see each of you for a couple of days and shared life and thoughts and then do posts on those sharings – wow! that would be so wonderful!!!

So, the thought I will leave you with is to slow down yourselves, take breaks, smile, enjoy this journey because, as my son says, you won’t get out of it alive.  This is the time; this is the place; this is the way you need to be to enjoy it all.  Don’t wait – it doesn’t come – it is already here.




This is a pic of the 61 year old man who won the Melbourne Marathon.

I just finished Mollie Player’s post for today. It was about a farmer who set the world record for a marathon by running slowly for over five and a half days without sleep. It is here –> post <–.

Thing is the post is about belief and what you can do with it. This guy believed he should be able to win and did, but it is also about how he didn’t know he was supposed to sleep, so he didn’t.

I am going to tell a story on myself.

Article about writing your Thesis. Some good ideas. One is don’t complain and get depressed about it. Good one. I didn’t!
(Click pic to read)

When I was working on my Masters in English, we were told we had to either write a Master’s Thesis or take 36 hours of coursework instead of 28 and the Thesis.

Now, at the time, I was married, working full-time, and strapped for cash. While I enjoyed the classwork, I knew that the price of the classes (the 4 hours I wouldn’t have to pay for) was worth the effort to write the thesis.

Now, I also had never written a thesis before. I was told it had to be either a well-researched new idea on an old topic or something brand-new.

I knew I didn’t have time to do all the research so I chose to write about the poetry of one of my professors. She had published two books of poetry at the time. I sat down at work in September and began reading her works and taking notes. I did this, fairly painstakingly, through to early December.

I knew I had until about Mid-March to finish so I was pretty happy with myself.

Just about the time I was finishing my reading and notes, my overseer for the thesis called me and said she needed a written first draft by about the first of the year! Hmm, surprise to me!

Not quite, but almost what I worked on.

So, for the next two and a half weeks, I poured myself into typing (by the way, there were no PCs then. I had to type it out on the bigger computer at work – after hours – and then reformat and go through all kinds of loopholes to get it to look typed.). I turned in the first draft (this is why it is called “rough” and the three professors / readers tore it to shreds. I wondered just how many red pens were wasted on the correcting of my draft.

I do remember one of the readers hated the word “that”. I have a tendency to say “that” quite a bit (I try to not say it much anymore, at least, in writing), so the bloodied manuscript was redone without the word “that” in it more than once or twice. (Now, for another funny one.  I was tired when writing this post.  When I proofread it, I had to remove the word “that” about 6-8 times where I used it unnecessarily!)

My adviser asked me if I would even be able to finish it on time. I think she felt I should give it up. I set to work and, for the next almost three months, I typed and corrected my little heart out. The finished paper was between 85-95 pages long and was a study on her poetry from the aspect of her use of light and dark.

I did get it done and it was accepted (hmm, I suppose that would truly be the first time I was “published” as it was made into two copies – one for me and one for the school library where it resides even now).

I had not given my Thesis a lot of thought in years, but I now realized I might not have tried to do a thesis on something new (and so long) if I had truly known about it. My belief was in myself and my ability to do whatever I set my mind to (though, I am not sure I even knew this consciously).

I have written more in a month, in the last few years, than I did for the entire Thesis paper. I have even written a book (bad book, you will not ever see it), but I am still pretty proud of my Thesis achievement during college. I believed in myself and was determined to do something which felt right to do. I didn’t need all the details in the beginning; I simply needed to believe I could do it.

Just like the farmer who won the race, I won my own race with time.
How about you?

Do you have any accomplishments you are amazed you managed to do them?



Philosophy is all about being curious, asking basic questions. And it can be fun!

North Noir


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