Tag Archives: OkCupid

The Dating Game

As my long-time readers can attest, I do dating sites.  I enjoy them (well, most of the time) and find it a way to, at least, contact women I would, otherwise, not meet.  I am not horribly picky, but I do have my limits.

I prefer women.  I prefer them younger (at least 1 year) and I am not really into BBW types.  Those are preferences.  I know I won’t do well with a highly religious person (not spiritual, that’s fine) and if you own dogs (more than 2) I doubt we would get along.  If you are really into sports, mudding, 4-wheelers, antique cars, hunting, fishing, or hiking, you would probably do best to continue on.

Why am I beginning a post with what sounds like a dating site ad?  Really just to show that I am a person with ideals, things that have to be and things that can’t be.

I used to get mad at the sites.  I got tired of not even being worth an answer from women.  Then I spoke to a couple of women who used the sites and they said I wouldn’t believe how many men write them each day.  They also said that most of those men were jerks.

I didn’t like the sites (and still don’t) for people who put pictures on their sites in which they are 3-5, even as much as 10 years younger.  Well, I guess if you tell me you are 56, but your picture looks 46 (because it is!), yes, you will probably catch my attention.  What I can’t figure is don’t these ladies realize that, at some point, they will meet this guy who will have a good reason to think he was lied to and walk out or make the evening miserable for both?

Then, finally, the ones who say, “all I want is…” and follow that with several things.  I don’t mind that.  What I mind is when the woman specifically says she doesn’t care about age or looks or money, just so he… I have met all those requirements before and they don’t even write back or it’s an instant rejection letter.

I told my stroke counselor that I have been doing a mental exercise to keep me occupied and deal with these sites.  I am on 2 sites Plenty of Fish and OkCupid.  Both are very good and can be used free with some success.  This is what drew me to them.  I now pay on both, but I wanted the changes; they weren’t necessary.  You could send and receive messages.

So, now, I do a small exercise.  Most days, I look through the pics and find 5-10 on the two sites who I might be interested in.  I make certain they are within an hour or two of me and, if things look decent, I write them.  I try to write at least 5 per day.  I don’t worry about being rejected.  That’s  part of the exercise – to get used to that.  I don’t even worry if they don’t write back at all – I just consider that a part of it.  I find a lot of scammers.  Pictures that aren’t of someone on the site or very little said and some suspicious things.  If I am sure, I report it.  If I am not, I block them.  Anyway, I have been doing that for a couple of months now. So, I estimate 5 actual writings a day and that’s over 300 letters!  Wow!  It takes a lot to bother me now.  And, I have had a couple of dates, 3-4 actually.

So, no Mrs. Right, but I am not sure I  even want that now.  It’s nice to just have the freedom to do as I want, to write who I want.  It’s fun as, sometimes, even though we won’t go out, a woman will write me for a while and we will just chat.  All of that is nice and it’s helping me.  My attitude is better and I don’t worry much about it.

Maybe you are at the point where I was and need to just write.   Maybe you need to really sit down and be honest with yourself.  Are you truly looking for a practical someone or are you looking for that one-in-a-million?  If that’s the case, realize that it means you will have to recognize that person and write and have them recognize you.  If you broaden your search, you may find the one quicker.

Thanks for listening to me go on and on.  I am really starting to enjoy my life even w/o someone.  Who knows?  I may find someone today or not at all.  It’s all part of life and of the story being told.

Namaste,

Scott

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