I had a student once, sent to me because of different difficulties.He worked in my class (not always something that was done) and tried very hard. When grades came out, he approached my desk.
“Mr. V? I wanted to thank you for the A+.”
I looked at him. “Don’t thank me. You earned it.”
He smiled, but still looked shook. “No one’s ever given me an A+.” And out he walked, out of my special needs classroom, back to the regular school, and I never saw him again.
He was “fixed”. He made it. That one little A+ was all he had needed to boost his confidence high enough to handle what life was throwing him. I truly didn’t give it to him; he earned it. I suppose it may have been the way I looked at his work. I always tended to try to think like the student when I graded papers, especially subjective ones.
I know there are teachers and administrators who disagreed and still do with that approach. Theirs is a “they must fight for everything; don’t give an inch” approach to grades. Somehow, we’ve lost, I think, our ability to see past our noses and notice what the person really needs in order to succeed.
Snow White did not need someone to tell her to face up to the Wicked Stepmother and fight tooth and nail for what she stood for. What she really needed was a good friend (and she had seven), who merely loved her and helped when things got really tough. But did they fight and yell? No, they simply cared about their friend and because of their care, they put her in a glass casket and the prince found her.
Just think what it would have been like if the dwarves had simply dug a hole under a tree, dropped her in a wooden coffin, and buried it.
I think we really have to look at what a person needs (pray about it, if that works for you) and do that for them instead of giving them a hard way to go all the time.
Love is, truly, the answer.
Namaste,
Scott
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