Severed Head or Bare Butt

I have read about this issue and thought about it and have gone through it myself.  I cannot for the life of me figure it out.

Television time, movie time, renting time, whatever…I dealt with kids, students, etc…all talking about it.  Why can they watch something like “Nightmare on Elm Street 1” but people flip out with something in which, at some point in the show a person’s bare butt appears?  What is this big problem with sex and not a problem with violence?

Don’t tell me you haven’t noticed it.  The thought was reintroduced to me when I was reading a post by Lady or not —> post is here <— *note – this particular blog is a little more adult than mine (or most of yours).  Just letting you know before you pop over there and get surprised.  I enjoy the post immensely and she is a wonderful person, but…or butt…

Anyway, the whole thing raised its head again and I decided I would put the most talented and smart group of people I know (that’s you guys) on duty to help explain why it is that we as a society condone violence more than sex.

I do not want to go on record as saying kids should see either of them early in life.  It’s not that; it is that I have just noticed that all things point to sex as having been labeled as worse than violence in nearly all things to be viewed or talked about.

I am not being hippocritical; I did kinda the same thing when my children were little.  My son and I watched violent shows quite a bit.  Not the violence that is on today, but things considered violent back then.  I did it too.  Why?  It seems so dumb to me now.   It doesn’t make sense if it’s to keep them from having sex young.  If that is true, then we don’t care if they kill or beat someone to death?  If it’s that we can explain the violence easier, that’s just a pity.

I am thinking that we are more comfortable with violence than sex.  That’s a shame.  I think it would be better for our world, in general, if we introduced the idea to children a bit earlier and did it in a positive fashion.  Not to practice it, just to understand it better.  We should open the subject up for questions and educate ourselves so that we understand all of it better.  I have had some adults say some things to me about sex that made me do kind of a double take.  I remember thinking, “How can you possibly believe that?”

This is one of those posts that I could continue discussing all day and still not cover it, so, instead, I would like for you all to do that.  I will give you a couple of ways.

First, give me your opinions on the basic question concerning sex vs violence.

Second, if you would like, ask a question, posit something here in the comments to get us going on it.  If it really takes off I will do another post on that area so we can center in.  But, at least, let’s talk.  You all do that really well, as do I.

Let’s hear it!!!

Namaste,

Scott

Some Room with a View!

Before I get into the post, I really wanted to tell you that I read Mollie Player’s book “Alone and Together” today in one sitting and it was wonderful!  Pop over to her site and/or take a look on Amazon at her book.

Ok, back to our regularly scheduled program:

I decided to try something new just to see what happens.  I was thinking about that day a couple of weeks ago in which my tiny little Minotaur poem went berserk and granted me over 700 views in one day.  For my blog, that is a lot.  I tracked it down and, if you have read that post, you will see that it was mostly because it hit in the top 50 for the pictures on Google searches on the word “Minotaur.”

So, here is what I am doing as an experiment.  I have taken 13 key words from what has been searched the most on Google so far (this year?).  Those 13 terms have been searched for over 1.9 million times.  I topped it off with 2 of the top pictures searched for on Google.  I put the words into a poem.  Now, I am posting it.  I will keep you informed over the next week or so as to what happens with those terms and 2 pictures.  I guess I am just curious.

Will I get more views?

Will I get more followers?

Why don’t you give a guess in the comments as to how many views you think I might get in the next couple of days?

Here we go:

By Scott Vannatter – 2/19/2013

Sex, Minotaur, and Zombie oh my!

.

If for the views I write my verse

With nothing else in mind,

I search Google for all the terms

To see what others would find.

.

They look for sex, of course, of course

And Carnival is a hit.

But when it comes to news impacts

Russia’s Meteor may beat it.

.

The NBA and WWE

With NASCAR make a trio.

They watch Safe Haven and OSCAR night

Perhaps, James Bond in Rio?

.

Downton Abby is new to me

Kate Middleton still makes the news.

Put them all into a poem

And cover nearly 2 million views.

.

My poem’s not good I hear you say.

It only makes so much sense.

But if the views strike close to true

The numbers might make you wince.

_____________________________

I find it intriguing that the pics were not really all that special.  They are not the 1 and 2 spot as those were just pages of a spreadsheet or some such.  The actress above, Katrina Kaisf, was supposed to be the most popular celebrity of 2009, right above Michael Jackson.  The other was just an interesting cartoon on Google.  Oh, the power of the search engines!

Namaste,

Scott

What is this Thing called Love?

Here we go…me getting all personal and sharing things.  I meet with my stroke counselor about every 3-4 months for an hour.  Not much time, you say, but I try to bring notes and catch her up on everything and she sees what I think is important and asks the good questions back.  We have a good hour and I leave feeling a bit better about how I am handling this shift from well and busy working to home and busy writing.

For the last few months I have been thinking about my future and my personal life, especially, my love life.  Now, let’s define “love”:

Love is an emotion of a strong affection and personal attachment.^[1] Love is also said to be a virtue representing all of human kindness, compassion, and affection —”the unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another”.^[2] Love may describe compassionate and affectionate actions towards other humans, one’s self or animals.^[3]

In English, love refers to a variety of different feelings, states, and attitudes, ranging from pleasure (“I loved that meal”) to interpersonal attraction (“I love my partner”). “Love” may refer specifically to the passionate desire and intimacy of romantic love, to the sexual love of eros, to the emotional closeness of familial love, to the platonic love that defines friendship,^[4] or to the profound oneness or devotion of religious love,^[5] or to a concept of love that encompasses all of those feelings. This diversity of uses and meanings, combined with the complexity of the feelings involved, makes love unusually difficult to consistently define, compared to other emotional states.

From http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Love

Now, this definition goes on and on about 10 times longer than what is written above.  But, I think that what is here will suffice for what I want to talk about.

Love is looked on as good or bad, depending on what type you are concentrating on.

The main point is that love covers a huge definition of terms, at least, for English speaking people.  As mentioned, love goes from a care or affection for food or a movie up to love of spouse and love of God.  We have created a world of “loves”, different things depending on your point of view.  Oh my!  what a difference your point of view can mean!

I think love must be done in context to mean anything.  The term, “I love eggs” is good for talking about food, but what happens if you are discussing babies or sex?  In the context of a video game it can mean a lot as “Easter Eggs” are something special hidden in the game and often very difficult to find.  And Easter Egg can lead us to a love of chocolate or a love of giving/receiving of cards.  It also can bring the mind back to a romantic love.  I was bad this Valentine’s Day.  I stayed home.  I had no reason to go anywhere and did not ask anyone to dinner because I didn’t want any of the ladies to look me at with the “This is Valentine’s Day!” stare on their face when I just wanted dinner.

Just thinking – I believe that’s me there!

I have a good friend who loves spending time talking and sharing with me, and I with her.  See? there’s that word again.  We get together about 1 time a week and go see a movie and/or eat out.  We do the checks separate and meet somewhere about 1/2 way for us.  The thing is I love doing this, but I draw the line there.  She knows that and we have agreed on it.  It works for us.

The epiphany that I hit last week or in the last few days was that I am not sure if I can love someone.  I don’t mean the “I care about you” or the concern you feel for family or close friends.  What I mean is that I am not sure I can do the romantic, forever type of love.  I didn’t grow up with really good models of that type of love.  Mom and Dad love each other; I can see that.  What I mean is that the last generation before us had a tendency to keep quiet about love and sex and all;  they built love to be something so high and special and all that…. well, at least, I didn’t understand it all, even when I got married.

When you start out without a good idea of how something works, the future of that thing is called into question with every bit of new knowledge.  I think my first wife was in the same boat with me and we just grew apart as we each came to understand what that type of love really meant.  I didn’t figure it out (still haven’t, all of it) mostly until just recently.  I read all of the posts and see the movies, read the books, watch the news, and think a lot.  What I come up with is not so much a definition of the term, but the fact that so many definitions are out there and I am looking at one of them with the others surrounding me.

I picture sexual love.  I can see that one.  It’s fairly straight-forward and our society deals with that one constantly.  I can see love of a friend.  Whether or not I like everything about a friend (and, I usually don’t) I can stay friends because we are not together 24/7, and I have a time to be away and recoup.  I can see and understand a love of routine and activities.  I love the things I do and have.  It is comfortable to have a routine established.

I love music and movies, and video games.  These are things that I am comfortable with and can deal with for hours without feeling any sense of loss.

But, the idea of caring about someone above all others, of wanting to be with them forever, of wanting them to stay with me by my side in “our” home;  that idea doesn’t sit will with me.  I enjoy my own time, my quiet time, my escape time.  I like that, when I get home from dealing with others, I will be by myself and can escape into other things.

Does that make me strange?

Does that make me a bad person?

Does that mean I can never love?

These questions do not bother me so much as intrigue me.  I don’t consider myself strange or bad.  I assume I can love, but it’s the type that I wonder about.

At present, I do not see me interested in spending my life with someone else in a “live-in” or marital relationship.  I can see me forming an intimate bond but it would have its limits.

Is that wrong?  I don’t see it as so.

It is limiting, but it seems to me that I am saying I am okay with those limits.  And, I believe I am.  The problem becomes that I am not used to this world.

Are there women out there who feel the same?

More importantly, are there women out there who feel the same and will deal well with a disabled person?  That seems to cut the numbers down significantly.

So, I am not sad, not disappointed, nor despondent.  More, I am curious and trying to look at this as a challenge and try to figure out how to meet these people that I feel certain exist.

What are your thoughts?  How do you feel about love?

Namaste,

Scott

It’s Just Plain Wrong and I am Really P*s**d

I was surfing a bit today, trying to read all the new posts and realizing I had accidentally followed a whole lot of posts that I didn’t mean to follow, just read. So, I am cleaning up, trying to figure out why this is “perfect” and I hit a site and read a post that leaves me…cold and angry. Here’s the post, but I will go ahead and talk about it and the problem.
—> Post is Here <—

Teaching school is rough today, but what makes it especially rough is if you manage to keep your feelings of compassion and have to deal with the thugs, bullies, and other people (often, including parents and other teachers) who are either part of the problem or who ignore it.

Amanda Todd’s story, unfortunately, is not abnormal today.  We live in a society in which many people, both young and old, feel that hurting someone else is funny and a good source of entertainment.

I do not know all the reasons why bullies come to be; I am not a specialist in this field, but, in spite of legal changes being made, bullying is around way too much and is too effective at destroying the lives of our youth.

I think that one of the biggest reasons why it is totally out of hand is apathy and even a slight acceptance of it in our society and in schools.  It is apparent to me that it is going to take a lot of situations in which people who are bullies are made examples out of.  Then, it needs to stem back to the reasons they became bullies and that needs to be addressed in a serious fashion.

It does little good to put a few specials out there talking about bullying being a problem; it does little good to make it illegal  and have penalties if you are being a bully in school.  None of these do much good if the problem is ignored by the very people who are in charge of watching for the problem.

My understanding is that Amanda Todd did, eventually, kill herself over this problem.  She was, according to the clip, followed by this bully from school to school; he never let up.  She would begin to get a handle on things and he would strike again.

My need to know is why has he not been found and arrested?  Why has he not been put through the grinder for what he did to her?  Yes, there were a group of students in all the schools who badgered her and pushed her even further; however, if this one person had not started it; if this one person had not kept it up, she might have recovered and still be with us.

I get even angrier when I read how kids (people) on Facebook manipulated her by making such derogatory statements like “I hope she’s dead!” and others.  Why is that necessary?  Why is it that people have to egg on someone who is, obviously, having such problems?

School people are so impressionable and form clicks so readily.  “Follow the Leader” is very popular, even when the leader is a bully.

I realize that the people I am talking to on this blog, the people I will reach, will, almost totally, agree with me.  I know I am “preaching to the choir“, but I need to say this; I need to get this out of my system and feel as if I am doing something constructive to help rid the world of this problem.

I am not one to start movements; I am not one who will get into this in a huge way; I know it is just not me.  What I hope is that, by reading this, someone (or many ones) will be sparked to do, at least, what I have done, heck – reblog if you don’t want to rewrite, and speak out.

Amanda Todd deserved better and, if this helps even one person, then I will consider this all a success.

If you need help; if you need someone to speak to and no one seems to listen, then send me a comment, send me an email through my Gravitar.  I will try to help, whether it be to listen or to try to connect you to someone.  I care and there are others who care!  Please people, speak up here and in your blogs and throughout the world.  This is one post I would truly like to see the “views” go over several hundred!  That’s not up to me, though.  It is up to all of you out there!!!

One Amanda Todd lost is one too many.

_

Namaste,

Scott