You Have Got to Know (So I am Gonna Tell You)

I have been frazzled today.

I finally (Thanks) decided to name him Hugsiey Tumbles.

I tell you that so you will know that I am not one of the “life is always wonderful” people.

There is a huge difference between “life is always wonderful” and “everything works out in the end”.

The person who is always saying “Life is always wonderful” is, most likely, in denial. They are not seeing what is out there and are not willing to admit things can be bad. I may make a few enemies here, but I include the “It’s God‘s Will” people here, too.

I have seen too many people use the comment “It’s God’s Will” or “If It’s God’s Will” to allow them to explain away anything bad. It’s a type of denial, in my opinion, because I truly don’t think God has worked out a plan in which it is predetermined that you have to suffer and be miserable and things just go to heck. It just doesn’t make sense.

Quit telling me that it was God’s Will that my grandmother die or that I had my stroke. I believe God gave us choices and consequences come of those choices. Then, God uses our choices to help give us other choices.

Do I think God is always trying in everything to help us in life? Yes.

Do I think God prearranged all these things? No.

I think God works with us through our free will to “nudge” us toward that beautiful life we could be having.  We make the choices; God gives us more choices; some of those choices are tough and we may have to go through some rough spots because it finally got to the point that we were not following the easier path.

It makes sense to me, but I am never quite sure if I am explaining it right.

I had the stroke because I kept choosing to eat wrong and be stressed out.  There were a lot of ways for me to avoid that stroke path, but, finally, it had to happen; I didn’t give it any other choice.

The way I see it, God allowed me to live and still showed me the wonderfulness that life can offer even in my circumstances.  I, finally, chose to begin following the better path (maybe not the best one, yet) and then things could start to smooth out.  Notice I said, “start”.  I have a long way to go and still have a lot of choices to make.

But, I digress.  The other side of the “Life is always wonderful” coin is the “everything works out in the end.”  I think I just explained all of that.

That is me, and my day (look, full circle) was Frazzled!

In brief, I took Dad to Dialysis.  That is a 6 hour trip from start to finish.  We do it three times a week.  For Mom and me it is getting Dad there, waiting 2 hours, then lunch, then either going somewhere for an errand, or coming back for another 1 1/2 hours until he is finished.  Then, hurry home so Dad can get settled in and eat, and I can get home and do whatever by 4:00pm.

That wasn’t the frazzled part; that was just how the day started.

I was tired;  I didn’t take the best way to the dialysis clinic;

I got home and “remembered” (thanks to an email ad) that it was election day;

I drove in a hurry to the library to vote (two main streets were closed);

I went to the grocery; then ate just before my buddy called me to “go eat”; I went to “eat” (low, low carbs) with him so we could talk;

I dropped my blood pressure pill on the floor and couldn’t find it, right after spilling coffee while trying to “wipe up a smaller spill”;

I decided to go to grocery after all;

I was nervous and anxious by the time I got home, then realized all the online work I needed to do for blogging and Amazon and “things”.

So, I was frazzled. (I also left out the part where I had this post 1/3 done and accidentally “deleted” it)

Okay, all that, just to help you to see that “everything works out in the end” does not mean “everything works out today”.

You still have to live in the moment, but keep an eye on tomorrow.  What does help me is that, if I will keep that eye on tomorrow and remember the working out part, I can make it through today and, usually, calm myself down (which I have now done).  Because, you never know what is really going on…

You need to look at tomorrow and know that it will all work out, so that you can work through today without having to live in denial.

I love you all…

Namaste,

Scott

Today was a Special Day

Today was special!

Olive Garden is a registered trademark for the Olive Garden Restaurants

It was a day to be remembered. I got up this morning and did my usual morning things. Then, about 11:30AM, I drove about 60 miles (that’s special right there! for me) to Greenwood, IN and met a woman for lunch. She and I met as friends and talked for almost 2 hours over a nice meal.

A Meal Indeed!

I enjoyed it immensely. But, even that, was not why this day was special. I didn’t consciously remember it when I planned the meal, but we had it at Olive Garden in Greenwood on May 7, 2012.

This is special because at this particular Olive Garden in Greenwood on May 7, 2010, I had my stroke.

That’s right! This turned out to be an anniversary lunch!

I told her about it and, of course, it surprised her, but, as the meal went on, I even forgot the significance. That’s the nice things about friends: they can help you move through places to a different place in your mind.

I guess, today, I simply wanted you to remember someplace and sometime when you had reason to worry or be sad or even scared and, now, friends have helped you through that time and into a happier place.

I am so glad for all my friends. And, this blog, this special place, has made me even more good, special friends. I wonder if you out there, and there are more and more of you, know just how great you make me feel every time you visit my site and every time you post a comment? It is almost surreal, at times, and I never want any of you to forget that.

YOU ARE SPECIAL – TO ME and, I know, to someone else – never forget that!
Namaste,
Scott

My Top 3 Movies of all Time

I see the Internet full of lists:Top 10, Top 5, even Top 50 things of one sort or another. I have a short list I will send up with a brief statement of why I feel the way I do.
It’s, of course, movies (you did read the title?). I am a big fan of movies of nearly all types. I have watched documentaries, animated, horror, comedy, action, martial arts, drama…you name the type and I have watched at least one.

But some movies stand out to me more than others. In my top 50, there are these (in no order, but not the top 3):
1) Superman Returns
2) Benny and Joon
3) The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly
4) The Sound of Music
5) Merry Christmas, Charlie Brown (not quite a movie)
6) Hush Sweet Charlotte
7) Avatar
The list goes on and on…
But, I think after all these years, there are 3 that stand out with exceptional reason and, in reverse order:

3) Little Mermaid – I have watched/listened to this one 83 times. I put it on for background when I worked at a video store. Also, (hard to admit this one) once there was a celebration for work and champagne was involved. I didn’t know better and downed 3 glasses in about 10 minutes, and passed out (not a big drinker, even then). When I woke up on the couch, The Little Mermaid was on and I remember thinking how bright the colors were and how beautiful the music was. Wonder why?

One of the Best Trailers I have ever watched!

2) The Matrix Reloaded (2) – This was the very first DVD I ever watched on my own set. My children chipped in and bought me a DVD player and this one DVD. I watched it 2 or 3 times and all the extras in one weekend (about 24 hours). It still remains one of my very favorites.
And, (drum roll please)

1) Pride and Prejudice (with Keira Knightley). This movie, I admit, I only watched because my daughter loves it and Keira was in it! Now, after the first time, I have to say I have watched it several times a year (plus a few) since I bought it. I love the language (English Major, sorry); I love the plot; and, I love the dialogue. It took me a couple of times to get it all, but it was well worth it. I have even shown it at school for my English students. Some of them were fascinated by it; one would watch the last 10 minutes over and over, oblivious to all else.
In your comments, how about listing your top 3 movies? Not, necessarily, the reasons, just the names. I look forward to sharing.
Namaste,
Scott

A Night at the Movies

I kind of took yesterday off.

That’s why this post is so late getting up. I, normally, post about 10pm the night before. Instead, last night, I went to the movies with some friends.

We went to see “The Avengers”. It was a very well-done movie; the audience laughed, cheered, almost booed, and even cried a bit. It was excellent, especially for those up front.

You see in the aisle across from me was a family of four. The littlest one, about 3-4 years old, talked constantly and, from about 1/2 hour or so into the 2 hour movie, he cried, yelled, and ran up and down about 10 feet of the isle. The parents told him to be quiet; he simply yelled louder and argued with them.

Going to the movies is a special treat for me

I am known for my patience; however, I do not have as much at the theater. My opinion is that the theater is a treat and, as such, should be totally enjoyed. I usually wait for the DVD or rent the download so I can enjoy it at home where it is quiet and I can pause if something happens.

I suppose what made me angriest was that the parents did not take the child out of the theater until about 7-10 minutes before it was over. By then, I was past all caring. I wanted to be done and go home. Now, I showed very little of this, so, if that is patience, then Job must’ve been my brother. However, what was going on inside my head was not so good.

I was able to quell it somewhat by reminding myself that I was not going to have another stroke over this and that I did not have that child 24/7. Funny thing was that, when I did say something, everyone said, “You know it’s not the child’s fault; it’s the parents’ fault.” Funny, because I am, usually, the one saying this.

The stroke did change me; I almost (so close) got up and walked over to the parent (Mom) and said, “if you don’t take care of him, I will tell them out front and you can deal with them, instead.” But, wiggling over there on my cane got the better of me and I stayed in my seat.

I guess my question is “Why?” Why do so many parents raise their children so that they are so “spoiled” (I guess that would be the word) that they cannot stay seated and stay quiet? I do not believe in physical punishment. Very soon into my own children’s lives I stopped all of that. I gave them choices and consequences. They learned well and still do well today.

I know there are no real manuals that come with being a parent, so they tend to do what was done to them (I didn’t); however, I still do not understand how they (parents) can take being embarrassed so badly because I am certain they know that everyone truly blames them for the situation.

I don’t believe children are “bad”; however, they can be raised poorly.

This is not so much a venting session as a worry session. I taught problem children for six years. I saw this and worse, but, in most cases (not all), I could see the behaviors in the children stemming from the behavior of the parents. My worry is that this type of behavior seems to be becoming much worse and much more predominant.

The next generation will be absolutely out of control unless…well, you fill in that blank. Thoughts? Ideas?
Glad my two are so well-behaved.
Namaste,
Scott

Rooting for the Underdog…

*Before I even get started, I promised Sam I would post a link to her blog post which talks about helping people with Asperger’s .

Sam’s Post

There you go, Sam!

_____________________ My Post for Today ____________________

Growing up (and even now) I have always found myself attracted to the underdogs.I rooted for the team from the smaller school; I rooted for the hero who was battling other things beside what he/she was mainly fighting; I even rooted for the superheroes who were underdogs:

Spiderman – never could seem to get the girl or the good job, Batman – lost both parents to criminals, and Daredevil – blind.

I just look at things and see that I appreciated those who had uphill battles to win.

Here’s the thing: visualization is a reality; what you think about most comes to pass. I had always “believed” that, if you had to fight an uphill battle, then the victory was, not only sweeter, but assured. Life, I am finding out, doesn’t always play that way. I have managed to create myself as a person who is always fighting an uphill battle. This is not a complaint; I am happy with my life; I wouldn’t trade it for a million dollars (maybe five million…). However, it has now occurred to me that, perhaps, I should start focusing on success rather than the how of getting there.

This is 1 of 6, they are all listed at the end.

I should not have to achieve everything in life by climbing, tooth and nail, to whatever level I choose to achieve in life. So, the obvious thing is to, simply, change the way I view things. Not so simple, actually, to change a lifetime of thinking patterns. Yet, I see that it has to change if I am to succeed more quickly and be in tune with my new attitude.

The purpose of this is not to quit thinking about the underdogs; they will always exist and serve as a reminder that being handicapped in one way or another does not mean you can’t succeed; in fact, you can and it will be sweet.

What it means is that, if you wish to succeed, do your best and focus on thinking that you are special; you are successful; and that you can do well without having to fight from the bottom of the pile.

Just a thought…of course, a thought is the most powerful bit of creation in the world. Nothing, man-made, exists that was not, once, just a thought.

Remember that! (and, um, think on it!)
Namaste,
Scott

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o3EovjVQp5U Wayne Dyer Pt 6 / 6

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uVxEykHDiW4&feature=relmfu Wayne Dyer Pt 5/ 6

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4bU6qsrQA5I  Wayne Dyer Pt 4 / 6

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hQ2DHaTtED0  Wayne Dyer Pt 3 of 6

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Yeel0-tjpw&feature=relmfu Wayne Dyer pt 2 of 6

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rK3T76wJ32Q&feature=related Wayne Dyer pt 1 of 6