Tag Archives: stress

Where Am I? I wasn’t Here!

I know; I know.  It’s been about a week without really a word from me.  In that time, I managed to lose 3 games of “Trivia Crack” due to time elapsed, I waited over 3 days to do some of my “Words With Friends”, and I have been stressed out, tired, and so very frustrated.

No, silly, it wasn’t sex (though the symptoms certainly bring back memories – not really good ones, either).  It was nothing pleasant at all:  my Dad had a stroke.

Well, it turned out to be a TIA; it was downgraded.  It seems the difference is whether the damage remains permanent or not.  Apparently, his blood pressure may have dropped too low due to his medications combined with going back on dialysis.  What I do know is the night following the TIA, while I was lying in the couch/chair in Dad’s room, the nurse came in and gave him his blood pressure meds and, about 2-3 hours later, I was calling them to his side because his blood pressure, which had normally been around 150/70 or so, was now 77/41.  They began pumping fluids in him and I left when it was 84/50 and rising.

He is much better now, but in that time, we all took turns staying with him most of the day/night.  My general shift was 7:30pm-around 1:00am.  I would watch a baseball game with him (I am not a fan, but am learning the game well) and stay until he had been sound asleep for about 1/2 hour.

Anyway, that’s the reason for the long absence.  I have tried to read a few posts, but have had another problem.  I have borrowed my Dad’s IPAD.  He doesn’t really like it, so he told me to learn on it.  I have never used an IPAD before.  I can’t say I love how they run (man, I love my desktop with windows), however, once I FINALLY got it set up (That would be early this morning, by the way), it is pretty cool to have.  I can watch about 6-7 episodes of “Star Trek DS9” (am halfway through season 5) and do some online poker (free) and check out Facebook and “Words with Friends” without recharging.  It is nice and small (at least, compared to the full backpack my lap top requires) and it is not that difficult to use (Once it is SET UP.  Did I mention that?!).

Well, that’s the news for now.  Dad is much better – smiling, watching TV, and complaining about the hospital.  That makes us all happier.  It especially makes me happier because I found out that, during Dad’s ordeal, I stressed out and that shot my blood sugar up from about 110-almost 210 at times.  It wouldn’t go down.  It even went up after a self-imposed 17 hour fast!  When I finally saw on Google (Gotta love Google) that stress can do that, I went through my relaxation responses, said my prayers, and mentally chose to relax.  This morning was 124.  Still a bit high, but I could eat.  I will simply have to refocus my attention on being calm when things are bad around here.  Who woulda thunk it?

Namaste,

Scott

Highs and Lows…

I realize my last post was about my being “something Great!”.  I also realize how pumped up I normally am.  It  just goes to show you we are all human.

I had a kinda meltdown today.  Nothing drastic, nothing even serious – but still significant to me.  I was taking a shower and had just come off the season 3 finale of “Orange is the New Black” (excellent!).  While in the shower I began to get a fairly uncommon (of recent), but very familiar feeling called “worry” and “stress” hitting me.  I began to have some stomach problems, the water in the shower was a cross between invigorating and irritating and I found myself beginning to get that old “clinched” feeling in  my hands, stomach, and (excuse, please) bowels.

Now, I am (as I said) used to this feeling.  It is what brought me to the bring of exhaustion, brought about such anxiety I had to be decently medicated, made me depressed, and was the basis for my stroke.  Yes, I am familiar with stress and worry.

This time, however, I was able to think it through.  I didn’t spaz out and collapse into tears and all.  What I did was to think about what is bothering me.  All of it:

1)  Dad’s in the nursing home.

2)  Dad may not be with us a whole lot longer.

3)  Mom’s a nervous wreck over Dad.

4)  Sis is not sleeping due to 1-3 above and school starting in a few weeks.

5)  My car is in the shop.

6)  I had a stroke.

7)  I can no longer work and bring in a significant amount of money.

8)  I just had my hip replaced.

9)  I am not dating (not sure if that’s really good or bad).

10)  I don’t sleep well anymore.

11)  My roof has a hole in it and needs to be repaired, but it is raining nearly every day.

12)  Anything else I haven’t thought of so I can have 12 items.

So, a decent list.  I decided God is still in control.  Everything will work out in the end.  And, I needed to do something – So, voila! I am writing to my most wonderful set of friends out here in Blogland.  You are all always so great.  When you have problems, you write about them and you nearly always have great positive things to say when others are down.  It would be great if my top 30 blogging friends lived with me in one city, so we could chat and meet and talk and all…(come on, I know you have, at least, thought about it.).  Not gonna happen, but still…

Look!  Already, just writing to you has brought me mostly out of my funk (I said, “Mostly”).  I am more positive now and will go back to doing what I do and being thankful I have such a great set of people out there.  I would do names, but it honestly has become long enough of a list I would miss at least one person and I don’t want to do that.

So, if you consider me a friend, know I consider you one as well and you have helped out a friend today!

Namaste,

Scott

(PS – I can always use MORE FRIENDS!!!)

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Philosophy is all about being curious, asking basic questions. And it can be fun!

North Noir

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