Highs and Lows…

I realize my last post was about my being “something Great!”.  I also realize how pumped up I normally am.  It  just goes to show you we are all human.

I had a kinda meltdown today.  Nothing drastic, nothing even serious – but still significant to me.  I was taking a shower and had just come off the season 3 finale of “Orange is the New Black” (excellent!).  While in the shower I began to get a fairly uncommon (of recent), but very familiar feeling called “worry” and “stress” hitting me.  I began to have some stomach problems, the water in the shower was a cross between invigorating and irritating and I found myself beginning to get that old “clinched” feeling in  my hands, stomach, and (excuse, please) bowels.

Now, I am (as I said) used to this feeling.  It is what brought me to the bring of exhaustion, brought about such anxiety I had to be decently medicated, made me depressed, and was the basis for my stroke.  Yes, I am familiar with stress and worry.

This time, however, I was able to think it through.  I didn’t spaz out and collapse into tears and all.  What I did was to think about what is bothering me.  All of it:

1)  Dad’s in the nursing home.

2)  Dad may not be with us a whole lot longer.

3)  Mom’s a nervous wreck over Dad.

4)  Sis is not sleeping due to 1-3 above and school starting in a few weeks.

5)  My car is in the shop.

6)  I had a stroke.

7)  I can no longer work and bring in a significant amount of money.

8)  I just had my hip replaced.

9)  I am not dating (not sure if that’s really good or bad).

10)  I don’t sleep well anymore.

11)  My roof has a hole in it and needs to be repaired, but it is raining nearly every day.

12)  Anything else I haven’t thought of so I can have 12 items.

So, a decent list.  I decided God is still in control.  Everything will work out in the end.  And, I needed to do something – So, voila! I am writing to my most wonderful set of friends out here in Blogland.  You are all always so great.  When you have problems, you write about them and you nearly always have great positive things to say when others are down.  It would be great if my top 30 blogging friends lived with me in one city, so we could chat and meet and talk and all…(come on, I know you have, at least, thought about it.).  Not gonna happen, but still…

Look!  Already, just writing to you has brought me mostly out of my funk (I said, “Mostly”).  I am more positive now and will go back to doing what I do and being thankful I have such a great set of people out there.  I would do names, but it honestly has become long enough of a list I would miss at least one person and I don’t want to do that.

So, if you consider me a friend, know I consider you one as well and you have helped out a friend today!

Namaste,

Scott

(PS – I can always use MORE FRIENDS!!!)

Centering Our Trust

Source: Google search – licensed for reuse Click pic for page

I have to admit that I got a bit frightened today (truth be told, I still am, just a little).  “Why” do you ask?  I spend a decent portion of my morning looking at various news clips on the Net.  Tonight, I watched TV (Fox News) with my Dad for over an hour.  I did not sleep well last night, so I am just, shall we say, a bit frazzled and worse for wear.  Still, here is some of the news over the past few days:

1)  Two trains collided in another country.

2)  Miss (one of the States) had her crown removed because, even though she was honest, they say “now” that she will be too old at the end of the year.

3)  Parts of the government want impeachment proceedings to begin against Obama.

4)  Two students had made plans for a massive school shooting.

5)  Thousands of immigrants from Mexico are flooding into the US – we aren’t sure what to do with them.

6)  A man is going to be tried for killing his own child (baby) by leaving him in a sweltering hot car for seven hours.

7)  Miley Cyrus is, apparently, losing her appeal to today’s crowd.

8)  The fight is still going on hard even after the Hobby Lobby decision on birth control coverage.

9)  Severe Storms are all over.

10)  A man was attacked by a shark.

11)  Truckers are “rolling coal” in protest.

12)  The war-like problems in both Russia and Iraq.

These are just the ones I could recall in about 10 minutes without going back and looking.  I know there are many more.  I also know bad news sells more than good news.  However, the deal is it began to seem to me we are losing control all over the globe.  The world of man seems to be falling apart and we seem to be helping it along.

Then I began to think.  I began to ask the question of where to center my trust.  This is not a plea to anyone to alter their beliefs; I simply want to tell how I deal with it all.  For the most part, I am very calm and fairly rational.  I don’t tend to worry a lot, especially since my stroke.  But I did tonight; I lost my focus on trust.

I do believe in God.  I don’t really see God in the same way that organized religions do.  For one thing, I don’t see God as judgmental.  I also don’t see man as particularly sinful – I really don’t believe in sin.  What I do believe in, though, is a God in whom I can place all my trust.  Truly, I believe God has the world “in His hands.”  He watches over us and protects us; He listens to our prayers.  I see Him as a Friend, as a Guide, and as a Center of Trust.

I forgot that tonight.  Call it tired or whatever.  I simply let my guard down and slipped a bit.  It’s back up now.  I remember all the times I have prayed and the best happened.  I remember all the times that it all “worked out” in the end.  I remembered the little beautiful things that truly make life on this old planet worth it.  Let’s try:

1)  A rainbow

2)  A cat purring

3)  The taste of a fresh piece of fruit

4)  The feeling of a first kiss

5)  Finishing a task that was worthwhile

6)  Holding hands

7)  Clean sheets

8)  The smell of toast

9)  The lifting of depression

10)  A smile

11)  A beautiful scene in a movie

12)  The smell of the forest after a rain

Try to think of those things and be depressed or sad or distrusting.  It is really hard – I am not sure it can even be truthfully done.

What are the things you can think of that lift your spirits?

Namaste,

Scott

Blowing Things Out of Proportion – Can Be Good!

The more ridiculous the better!

Worry, Worry, Worry.  People worry all the time.  I worried so much that it contributed to a massive stroke that nearly killed me.  I know people who are nearly paralyzed with fear because of excessive worry.   I know others who will, like I was, be in the hospital (or worse) in a few short years because they worry so much.  Worry sucks the enjoyment out of life.

My stroke drastically dissolved my worry filter.  I do, say, or think things often now that would have had me totally freaked out worrying before the stroke.  I have managed to keep that filter mostly turned off.

Worry is often good – let us not forget that.  If you are standing on the roof of a 10 story building, the idea of doing the Matrix thing and jumping off might pass through your head, but worry should keep you from doing that activity (and that is a good thing).  If you enjoy playing the lottery, buying one ticket is not so bad; however, worry about your financial ruin should keep you from spending your entire paycheck on tickets so you have a better chance to win.

I sent out an email today to two people and forgot to put their addresses under BB for blind copy.  It is my habit to do use BB a lot because I don’t want to be the one to pass out everyone’s email address to someone who shouldn’t have it or would misuse it.  I believe I did a post on this a long time ago, but, the gist was that I took one email in which about 50 people’s addresses were listed and by following some of those back a letter or two, I managed to get about 200 email addresses in around two hours.  I sent a new email to all of these people telling them how I got their email address and how to stop it with BB.  Some people listened.  Others did for a short time.  Of course, what these people did not realize was that email bots can scan other emails and get these addresses for use in spam emails.

Regardless, I chose not to worry about this small mishap.  Normally, I would have worried for quite some time.  It’s nice to not have that pressure to worry anymore, but I know most people who worry still would.  I have some help for those people.  It is an exercise that did help me with some of that worry and could help you, too.  It is called the “Blowing things out of proportion” exercise.  Here is how it works:

Let’s take my example of the email addresses.  The step is to, first, take the reality, and then to “blow if out of proportion” so completely that is becomes stupid.

1)  The two people, male and female, now know each other’s address. (Reality)

2)  The male writes an email to the female, asking if they can write. (harmless)

3)  They do and the male develops a crush on the female. (married)

4)  The male now decides he must have the female. (obsession)

5)  The female tells him no. (most likely)

6)  The male pushes and obsesses. (needs therapy)

7)  The female gives in and they begin writing more lively emails. (possible)

8)  The female’s husband finds out about the emails.  (likely)

9)  The female ends up divorced from her husband. (yep)

10)  The female now begins seriously pursuing the male. (It could happen)

11)  The male, already obsessed, quits his good job and moves to the state with the female.  (why didn’t she move out there?)

12)  They move in together.  (as likely as anything else)

13)  The male cannot find a job and begins drinking.  (Statistical)

14)  They begin fighting and the male, in a drunken stupor, kills the female. (stay with me here)

15)  The male is arrested and charged with first-degree murder. (Bad lawyer)

16)  The male is executed after several miserable years in prison. (could happen)

17)  The male’s mother finds out how the couple met.  (the Internet at work)

18) She sues me for contributing. (You can sue for anything)

19)  She hires great lawyer and mine is very busy, I lose and have to pay $100,000.

_________________________________

I think that it’s fair to say that me losing two friends, one dead, being sued, and having to pay $100K is stretching the situation more than just a bit.  Now, as you read through your own fantasy trip, let yourself laugh, get all smiley at it…got it?  Good.  Now, realize how stupid that sounds and how that won’t happen and what you are really ultimately worried about won’t either (almost never does).

Now, rest and thank me later!

Namaste,

Scott