Category Archives: Diet and Health

Why do Things have to Change?!!!

I remarked on another blog (Susannah Bianchi) that I needed to tell people more about my stroke and how it has changed my life.  She agreed and I said I would – and I will (promise), but I was watching one of those movies that “Guys” aren’t supposed to like – “13 Going on 30” starring Jennifer Garner and kept thinking the title of this post.  Why DO things have to change?  Now, that was a from-the-gut response to what I thought was a cute, wonderful movie that I enjoyed oh so much.  It only got a 6.1 rating of 10 but made 3x the money put into it.  I mean, does 60 some million dollars just not mean anything?  Guess not.  Anyway, the movie set in motion that part of me that always comes out at various unforeseen times.  It’s that part that wants a redo; I want to go back to about 10 and start over, knowing what I know now.

The sensible part of me says, “whoa!”, and it wins out in the end.  I realize that I love my two children (adults, I know) and wouldn’t trade anything to not have them around, but, if I knew what I know now and I knew they would be born, live, and be what they are now – then, I think I really would like to start over.  I am not certain what would happen, but it would be different.  There is so much I know and understand now that I didn’t have a clue back then (though, I often thought I did).  Can you imagine?  Pick your dream job, the one you always wanted and pursue it.  Don’t take much from anyone and take those chances you didn’t back then.

Now, I left out the part where I knew what stocks to buy when and how to end up a millionaire by 25, how to go to college and simply learn what you needed to get that job (if you wanted to work), and make sure you got up on accounting and business enough to handle your money.  In fact, working, probably, wouldn’t fit in very well with the life I would want to lead.  Imagine, buying stock (even a small amount to start with) in Microsoft, Amazon, Walmart, and Google!  Moving from stock to stock, shuffling hundreds, then thousands, then millions of dollars into sure-fire wins…  Now, forget that and just realize that you could grow up, be happy, and smart, and live that life you always wanted before/after/whatever.

I know I am not telling anyone anything new.  You have all thought about this in one way or another.  There have been a lot of stories written about similar things.  I may even do one myself soon.  But, the more I think about it, the more I love the idea, the very notion of what one “do over” could accomplish.  There has to be a downside…maybe having to suffer through high school again or live all those weekends in the country with little to do…but I don’t think so.  If I truly knew it was a do over, there would be so much to work on to get ready and I would have the benefit of already knowing the mistakes and the fun I had.  All those memories would exist.  Oh, and my stroke?  I wouldn’t need it to get on the right path again.  The stress would be manageable and I would be in different shape, think differently, and behave differently.  Would I marry?  Hmm, I doubt it.  Wouldn’t need all those memories either and I would know what to do with my life.  Philanthropist comes to mind…yes, and I wouldn’t have to do what Linus in “Peanuts” said when told about needing to be rich to be a philanthropist.  His comment:

I want to be a philanthropist with someone else’s money.

Nope, I could use my own.  And, if it all fell through?  So, I would know that, at 61, I could be disabled, bad memory, no job, — and still be happy!

Love you all,

Scott

My Life and Welcome to It (Old Show, new Meaning)

I was talking to someone the other day who told me about several people who were praying for my health.  Thank you all.  I did think, however, that a better explanation of my situation was needed.  I realized that it is normal day to me, getting there for Mom, and much less so for all others.

I have several problems.  I am not complaining.  I believe in all things working out for good and, though I may not like it, I can see most of the hows and whys of the entire deal.

I had a stroke on May 7, 2010.  It was a hemorrhagic mid-brain stroke.  That means that I had a small blood vessel burst in my brain (from BP too high 250/150 and aggravated by my Blood Sugar at 300).  This stroke caused me to have double vision, my right eye is always dilated and my left eyes is never dilated.  I also have balancing issues which are caused by my neuropathy (next) and my eyes.  I had had diabetes for over a year.

I have neuropathy. That is a condition in which the nerves in an area have bad circulation and, therefore, stop functioning as well or periodically as well.  I have 3 types of neuropathy.  I have neuropathy in my feet, causing numbness and loss of balance and occasional pain.  I do not take medication for the pain as it is short-lived, but intense.

The second area I have neuropathy in is (let’s keep it PG) my male reproduction system.  Nuff said.  Ask me if you want more info.

The third area of my neuropathy is my stomach.  Called Gastro Paresis (stomach stops), this condition comes when the Vegas nerve to your stomach stops or slows down transmitting to your stomach. This, in turn, causes your stomach to digest food slowly or not at all for a period of time.  If it is long enough, the food in your stomach goes rancid, sending a vile taste to my mouth and followed (in about 1 hour) by vomiting, then by diarrhea.  This lasts anywhere from 2-10 hours.  I have some very quick-acting medicine for under my tongue (3-5 minutes) which, if I get it in time, can slow or stop the nausea and prevent (hopefully) the vomiting.  I am told not to stop the diarrhea because the bad food needs to get out of my system and that’s the safest and quickest way.  I am getting better at doing things to help prevent or limit the occurrences of Gastro Paresis.  I have been told there is no cure, though sometimes it stops altogether.  I can help by:

  1. limiting my protein intake
  2. limiting my sugar intake
  3. limiting my fiber intake
  4. eating smaller meals
  5. drinking an increased (much) amount of liquids

All of the above keep your stomach emptier and allow it to flow better so it stays empty and food won’t spoil.  It has helped greatly.  I spent, literally, years eating much protein and fiber to help my diabetes, so 1 and 3 have been a big change.

I am now on insulin.  We don’t have the dosage exactly right yet, so it goes back an forth on readings.  However, we are getting there.

The good news is that since the stroke retired me (disability) at 51, I am home and can treat it the way it needs treated.  Being single has helped also.  I have a Mother who is getting older and needs my help and I have good friends, my blog, my Word with Friend games, my fiverr writing, my Amazon for the local library, and my video games to keep me occupied and happy.  Yes, yes, I have my cat, too.  She is a toss up as I wouldn’t want to do without her, but she, frequently, gets on my nerves. lol.

The Gastro Paresis has one advantage.  Eating less and having much less choices (say no ice cream or chocolate) has led to a loss of 23 pounds since April, most of it this May-August. It is a bad way to loss weight, right up there with, well, throwing up intentionally.  However, I am working to stop it and keep the pounds off as well.

The Gastro Paresis is not deadly at this stage.  The biggest problem is dehydration.  I had a few bouts in which I could not keep any liquids down for over 6-8 hours and had thrown all mine up, so I had to go to the ER for saline solution in my arm.

Thank you to all who know, who care, who now understand better.  You are all loved.  I am, often, amazed at how many wonderful friends I have here.  It is something I don’t mind being surprised at.

Namaste,

Scott

 

The “News”

I was standing in line at our grocery several weeks ago.  I don’t go through the regular lines often as I enjoy the diy self-checking lines as much or more.  But, late and too many items, I decided I wouldn’t deal with the auto-voiced machine that tells me way too often to “remove your items” when I am loading them as fast as I can.

While I am standing in line I notice the last-second sale items and candy and magazines that stores place in the checkout area so you can impulse-buy to your heart’s content.  And what should I see? —>

 

I became entranced with several things.  First, was the variety of Gift Cards you can buy.  I mean, all types of stores and restaurants and online places were offered.  I had someone tell me once, “Just give money.”  My opinion on that hasn’t changed much.  If I don’t want the temptation to be to put the money on bills and/or necessities (which I went through time and again), then I figure out what they like and go for that.  Amazon has been a recent catch-all as they can get needed supplies, books, or go for that special something they wouldn’t normally get.

But, apart from the towering selection of forced buys, I saw the “News”.  I mean the magazines that offer everything from latest diets dos and don’ts to who got fired/rehired on the soaps and sitcoms.  People amaze me at times where they will spend their money.  I sell older magazines I have purchased on Amazon.  People who live in New York will, often, spend $7-$15 on a single issue of a magazine that is only a few months old.  I have concluded the cost of them in NY must be high enough that $7-$15 is a decent price.  I usually sell them still in the plastic.  I took the magazines at a very reduced  price when I was teaching as educational aides.  After my stroke, I still got the magazines for a few years, so…

But the magazines on dieting and movie stars (especially soaps) just floor me.  I have gone on and read about diets for a long time, but I use the Internet (no charge).  Most of them don’t work and may even be bad for you.  I have read and become quite the sage of diets.  As for the soaps, I used to watch several and enjoyed them, but to read about the stars and their doings and undoings?  Nope, not me, not much, anyway.

Back when info was slow coming and only on TV (4 channels) and magazines, I did my share of buying a few (not many as $0.25 a weeks only bought 2 comics at $0.12 apiece plus tax and I loved my comics).  Now, with the Internet and instantaneous news, why bother with print?

The biggest thing repeated over and over was the new royal baby.  Why do we, here in America, still love the royalty and their offspring?  Not that our own ruling body doesn’t have its own fair share of news, but that is … different.

And, then you have the “crap” mags that have those stories that are “based” (what a word) on truth…the merest shred of honesty lies at the bottom of some of the most stellar stories on these pages.  “Alien baby grows up in the Heartland” turns out to be about a Mexican child who moved to Indianapolis after finishing High School.  My daughter and I used to get one of these issues and pick apart the stories.  I would ask her (all 3-6 years old) what she thought after I read a short article and she would tell me why she thought it might not be true.  Is it any wonder she grew up to be a psychologist who loves watching TV shows like “Criminal Minds”?  She is analytical and thoughtful.

I was only in line a few minutes and snapped the pictures to remind me to write this post.  Still, people amaze me and I think someone should write about that…oh, forgot there’s YouTube,

Namaste,

Scott

A Narcissist: What’s So Hard?

I have had the (ahem) pleasure of being with several narcissists in my lifetime.  Not that I knew this then, but now, looking back, I see the clues and all that I wish I had known.  However, since I believe all is perfect, I will continue my life knowing that I really needed to have this in my life for a reason.  I hope it is to help me pick the perfect person for me somewhere down the road, but maybe not.  I will just have to be patient and see.

But I have had people who may really wonder why being with a narcissist is bad; why would it be so difficult.  Rather than I try to tell you, read this article…about 5-8 minutes is not long to find out and it may change your life … for the better.

What is a narcissist?

Namaste,

Scott

Change comes along Everywhere!

Earlier today I read  Susie’s post on Changes.  It was filled with her changes and what they may mean down the road.  Read it and see.  It, certainly, helped to focus me.

I also just read my blog-friend, Jules’, post about her changing her entire life.  Good for her!!! Read it here –> Jules and changes

These two posts have made me realize how much changing I have done and will be doing.

For example, about 2 1/2 years ago, I lost my father.  Last month, I lost my Sister. Life has been rough, but has been teaching me.  I am now more susceptible to learning (I am listening).

I have had plans all my life and have, until recently, been planning ahead to a future that never occurs (at least, as I plan it!).  I spent most of my life learning, working, raising a family – going through deaths, births, job changes, divorces, moving, replanning, changing careers, a stroke, and a plethora of other things.  I have survived it all; in fact, in many ways I have thrived.  I am still learning to manage my symptoms of Diabetes.  My attitude and life direction have changed.  I  put God and “The Law of Attraction” (Pam Grout, “E Squared”) at the center of it all.  That has changed everything completely.

Now, I look at how “everything works out in the end”, “it is all perfect” and, when I do, life amazes me.

If you wish please ask any questions here and/or look at my new FB page ->God, Quantum Physics, and The LoA 

I hope your day is blessed, but whether we like it or not, each day is perfect just as it is. (and, no, this is not a “Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm” story).

Namaste,

Scott

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