Category Archives: Diet and Health

What’s a Little Agreement Among Two People Who Disagree?

I have talked long and hard over the years about diabetes, especially mine.  I have tried the diets, the home cures, the meds, and whatever else seemed to work for some.  I have never seen anyone claim that every single person who does this thing will cure their diabetes.  I don’t really ever expect to.  Diabetes can come from many different directions and head in many others.  Inherited for some, but others seem to just develop it.  Some eat lots of carbs and sweets and get it, while others seem immune to that experience.  Still others, do everything right and still get it, while others eat all they want and don’t get it.

Now, the book “Dying to Be Me” states that it is our pushing our perfection and our nearly unlimited powers inside ourselves that cause us to get large scale diseases like stroke, diabetes, cancer. and others.  I am inclined to agree as the more deeply I delve into this arena of spirituality, the better I seem to feel and get.  As of right now, as I have accepted that I am special (as are we all) and nearly unlimited in what I can do (as are you, too) my body has changed deeply.  My blood pressure is way down even below normal; my sugar has dropped, my memory is returning; I have less and less trouble with my double vision; and I haven’t had so much as a cold in several years.  Not saying my health is perfect, nor am I saying that I have all this mastered.  Not at all, but I am saying, when I stop and take a good stock look at myself, I am much better person than I was several years ago.

You can scoff and laugh, throw up your hands and mark me a faker, liar, or whatever.  I am just noticing that this old world, that I was so angry at, has become beautiful again, and it more so than it was.  I am, well, happy.  I don’t run up hillsides proclaiming it (maybe I should).  I just try hard to help others when I can in my own little ways.  Know what I find out?  Most people are more comfortable with being miserable than being told that they can change it.  They are living in a world where they are comfortable enough that they won’t dare change.

Think about it like this:  if I told you that you can have mostly anything your heart truly desires (down deep inside), you would not believe me.  You, especially, wouldn’t believe me if I told you that you don’t have to work for it; you don’t have to be worn out and sacrifice to get there.  I have proved it enough to myself to dedicate my life to this pursuit, yet, even I fall short of it.  I fail a lot at it.  But, as I keep looking at it, the more I do over the long run, the better it has gotten.  It has been when I fought it and tried to push myself through it that it didn’t work at all.  We learn from life; I know we do because all things work out in the end.  I know we, often, may not see the end as we go along, but it’s there.  So, I keep trying and reading and thinking and believing…in myself and in the Law of Attraction, in quantum physics and in this unlimited, nearly unbelievable power we have been given from God.

As usual, this is not what I sat down to write and may have to change my title.  We will see.  This all came from a discussion within myself.  I have realized that by fighting my diabetic doctor on this front of taking Insulin once at night to balance things out, I am just causing myself to think about the bad effects more and more.  Sure, I have a good part of the medical world who agrees with me.  I will find that just because I am thinking about it.  Sure, I will hear the horror stories about taking insulin, same reason.  But, in the end, I am working against what I say is right for me and good for me and not using my unlimited powers.

So, I have decided to try not focusing on my diabetes so much.  Instead, I started realizing that it is a blessing, at this moment.  A blessing because, if I had not been diagnosed with it, I would have continued to pour in sweets and starches and gotten so overweight I would suffer from clogged arteries (cholesterol normal now), heart attacks (heart is very healthy now), and so many other problems.  I don’t have those because I was told I have diabetes.  I believe I can work toward not having diabetes if I see if as an aid to a path that I don’t need as much help on.  I am better at dieting and thinking and even will power.

So, my next visit I am going to work more with my diabetic physician.  I will compromise.  I have an idea and will present it to him.  We will see.

Now, you want something to really think about?  How about if I had diabetes and ate too much and problems with doctors and all of this just so I could write this post and help one person begin to see the things I am now seeing?  Think about that…need more help?  I have 3 books you really should read.  There are others, but these 3 will really provoke you and start you thinking.  And, I am here – bookman23@comcast.net

Books:  1) Conversations With God by Neale Donald Walsh

2) Dying to Be Me by Anita Moorjani

3) E Squared by Pam Grout

Namaste,

Scott

The Days of Our Lives

I used to watch a lot of soaps.  That’s what happens when you work 3rd shift.  You get up in the middle of the afternoon or stay up in the morning.  My very favorite, actually, was “General Hospital” and I loved Laura.  She and her guy were always in the middle of something, as was everyone else in the soaps.  I used to be amazed wondering how people could get so complicated and messed up.  Then…I got older.

Let’s just take this year, now 3/4 over and summarize for me.  Let’s see, I started out the year still getting very ill (at both ends) for about 4-8 hours 1-2 days a month. Had to postpone hip surgery because of that and the fact the illness threw my already-high sugar off too much.  Sugar was high due to Dad’s passing the year before and my sister contracting 3 different types of cancer.  I, finally, got self-diagnosed (and supported by medical staff) to have gastro-parieses (sp?) which came from high sugar powered by stress.  Had surgery on my right hip on April 17th and Sis had brain surgery on April 18th.  It took me until about the end of July to get kinda back to normal totally and exercise 2-3 times a week and work just a little on the house.  Sis had another surgery and radiation during the summer and we arrive at September.

Now, September brought Drs visits and other such medical things, as per normal now, but October starts things out again.  Sis is scheduled for more radiation as the summer surgery did not get it all.  Then they will look at scans to see if the radiation killed all of what was left of the cancer or if they need to do more surgery.

I have developed such a severe pain running from my hip around my knee and to my ankle and the front of my foot I had to go to a chiropractor.  He helped me with all my complaints except the hip, telling me I had bursitis.  I go home and look it up on Google to find it will “usually leave on its own in 6 weeks”.  Six Weeks!?  No way.  I go to my hip surgeon for my six-month check up review.  Hip is fine, but I don’t have bursitis; I have sciatic problems.  Great!  So, now I get to tell the chiropractor that it is his problem and he needs to address it.  I still don’t sleep well and have a daily schedule that runs from about 1:30pm – 3:30am up and trying to sleep from 3:30am-1:30pm, changing that for Drs visits and other emergencies.  Oh yes, forgot, in September, I took my car in for a “brief” fix on a heat plate only to find out the frame has totally cracked and the car should not be driven.  I am driving Sis’s car as she cannot drive yet, only to have her headlight go out and I have trouble at night when driving.

This is the Days of My Life as the World Turns…I am sure you can come up with similar statements.  So, soaps are not for old people – they are living them, anyway!

Namaste,

Scott

Another Request for Help

I do not like asking for things for me, but this is for Sis. I told you she had received the bad news of still having cancer. Tonight we celebrated her birthday and she had to go to bed about 1/2 way through the celebration. This was with her 2 granddaughters in attendance, something she would never normally do.
I am not asking you to give more. God knows you have done your part. But, if it is possible, please tell someone else of Darci’s situation, share it with another group, above all, please continue your prayers. I know God will see to it that we have what we need. I just feel I have to do this one request. It is my hope, it will just be updates after this.

Link: Darci Hill’s Go Fund Me
Love you all,
Scott

Help My Sister – Go Fund Me…

I stepped into new waters today by creating a GoFundMe for my Sister, Darci.  The three separate cancers are wearing her down and the money situation only made it worse.  I could not help much with the actual cancer part, but I did tell her I thought it would help to do a fund raiser.  This one should reach more people.  I struggled with doing it for about an hour and my learning curve went up in the process.  What I can say is that it’s a great idea and I hope it works as well as I think it does.

You can see it here: Darci’s Fund Raiser Donation

Please let as many of your friends see this (copy or reblog) and ask them to do the same.

Even those (like me!) who really can’t spare much, may feel $5 to be okay to part with to help Sis.

Regardless, thanks for reading this post.  I love you all, even if I don’t know you – my soul does.

Namaste,

Scott

On Hating Yourself…

Let me preface this with another TED talk.  Watch it if you wish, it is rather sad, but informative...The Depressed Comic.

I watched this and what it truly did was to bring back memories.  Memories of my youth, my 20s, my 30s, my 40s, and even some of my 50s.

A lot of the blogging world knows me.  They know Scott, the guy who had the NDE when he stroked out at a restaurant, and who came slowly back to life and health to be who I am now. Yep, a lot of you whom I call friends know that me.  Some of you out there know some about that earlier me.  Some of my friends around me know that me; some of my family even, however, I don’t think anyone knows the early me very well.

I say this because of a discussion/confession I had with my Mom not too awfully long ago.  This was a discussion about my late Dad.  We were talking and I spoke up (finally) about how Dad only gave me two options in college:  Doctor or Minister.  I went to high school with only those two opportunities under my belt.  I dreamed of other things, but those were it.  Dad said either make good money or serve God.  I said this to Mom and her response was, “No, he didn’t.”  My response back was, “You weren’t there.”  This went on just a bit and I told her there were a lot of things Dad told me that she, most likely, didn’t know.  I always assumed she was in agreement with him (why wouldn’t I?).  I told her about how mean Dad often treated me (actually, to him, it was just manly, the way you were supposed to).  She didn’t believe me, at first.  She just kept saying, “You know your father loved you.” It was almost a question.  I told her that I know that now, but then?  I was little and it didn’t feel like love.

I tell you all that so you can understand that I went to college as a young man who knew nothing of sex (it wasn’t talked about), little of life, and studying a subject that I only thought I wanted: religion.

I saw God as “our Father”, mean (for our own good), merciful (to a point), and punishing (if you didn’t follow His ways).  He was my father, and, to be truthful -it scared me- but I didn’t really like Him.  There was a side to me that was wanting to know about sex, about young women, about life, about death, about everything – you know, normal.  And, I had become so scared of what the world might think that I gave it all up to be the “perfect” giver, doing everything for everyone except myself.  Because of this, I didn’t sleep, got sick often, had stomach problems, was nervous, and had a deep complex about myself.  I wanted to go to Heaven, but “knew” I didn’t deserve it.

I got married, raised two wonderful children, got divorced, dated, remarried, took care of two other children, saw mine on scheduled times, tried to please everyone, and was tired, miserable, still sick, and heading toward a reckoning.

That reckoning had begun when my local doctor had prescribed Prozac, the wonder drug, for me.  I felt the difference the very next day.  Life lifted, colors were brighter, I was better, a little happier.  I stayed on Prozac quite awhile, quite a bit during my first marriage. I went off it, without asking my doctor, and, about a month later, had a bad episode.  Now, things get fuzzy in this time, so I will just summarize:

I began to get worse, my marriage was falling apart, I started to see a counselor.  He passed in the last couple of years and I wish I had seen him one more time to tell him all of the good he did me. Anyway, I continued working, went through my second divorce (one that took longer and was harder on me), got to the point that I threw up every day after work and would walk miles until I could handle being home and still.  I was constantly afraid of nearly everything and had high blood pressure (partly handled) and just a mess in general.

Finally the break (not a break, but an episode) where I had to call my parents to come get me and, over dinner at Pizza Hut, talk them into taking me to a Stress Center.  Actually, had to go to emergency ward and tell the doctor that “No, I had considered suicide; I just had times when I wished I weren’t around.”  I checked into a Center and stayed two weeks.  Did me a lot of good, but the doctor who treated me was later found guilty of Medicare Fraud, lost his Indiana license, and I don’t know about jail or fine or whatever.

I went back to work, within a few weeks I went back to the Center for the weekend (I was told this was quite normal), then lived very skittishly at work and home.  Actually, I had moved back home with my parents and made a 45 minute commute daily to work.  My routine was to get up, work, drive home, watch TV till 10, go to bed, and repeat.  On Friday evenings, I immediately began worrying about Monday morning.

I quit my job after about 6 years over stress and all, tried to write a book, then went back to school to teach elementary school and thought my dreams had come true.  I got to teach special education for 6 years, but had never handled my stress, depression, and anxiety very well.

On May 7, 2010, in the evening, I was on a date with my girlfriend.  We were having a discussion/argument over staying together and I had a stroke.  She took me to the hospital and, for the next 15 months.  I went through rehab and counseling before trying to go back to teaching.  I made it 7 months,stopping in Feb of my 7th year, and became disabled.

I have found that, becoming disabled, has been the best thing for my life.  I have also learned that Life works this way, God works this way.

The stroke reset my brain, as is often the case, and I became settled for the first time in my memory.  I have problems: issues with balance, trouble with double vision, a bit of weakness here and there, and short-term memory issues.  However, my OCD disappeared, as did my depression.  My counselor gave me that diagnosis, saying that while I still had a little anxiety, she found no depression!  I take a small anti-depressant/anti-anxiety (always good to cover both, I am told, as anti-anxieties can bring about depression), but am just very happy, positive, and see life as loving.  I am upbeat, outspoken, and unafraid to talk about anything (sometimes a bit too much so, I am told).  I am a new person.

And so, I started my blog after leaving teaching and here I am: whole and happy.

Now, you know a lot more about me.  Do you need to talk?  Do you want to share?  I am here bookman23@comcast.net.  I am not afraid to take that step with you.  Read other posts…you will see.

Namaste,

Scott

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