Category Archives: Opinion

My Life and Welcome to It (Old Show, new Meaning)

I was talking to someone the other day who told me about several people who were praying for my health.  Thank you all.  I did think, however, that a better explanation of my situation was needed.  I realized that it is normal day to me, getting there for Mom, and much less so for all others.

I have several problems.  I am not complaining.  I believe in all things working out for good and, though I may not like it, I can see most of the hows and whys of the entire deal.

I had a stroke on May 7, 2010.  It was a hemorrhagic mid-brain stroke.  That means that I had a small blood vessel burst in my brain (from BP too high 250/150 and aggravated by my Blood Sugar at 300).  This stroke caused me to have double vision, my right eye is always dilated and my left eyes is never dilated.  I also have balancing issues which are caused by my neuropathy (next) and my eyes.  I had had diabetes for over a year.

I have neuropathy. That is a condition in which the nerves in an area have bad circulation and, therefore, stop functioning as well or periodically as well.  I have 3 types of neuropathy.  I have neuropathy in my feet, causing numbness and loss of balance and occasional pain.  I do not take medication for the pain as it is short-lived, but intense.

The second area I have neuropathy in is (let’s keep it PG) my male reproduction system.  Nuff said.  Ask me if you want more info.

The third area of my neuropathy is my stomach.  Called Gastro Paresis (stomach stops), this condition comes when the Vegas nerve to your stomach stops or slows down transmitting to your stomach. This, in turn, causes your stomach to digest food slowly or not at all for a period of time.  If it is long enough, the food in your stomach goes rancid, sending a vile taste to my mouth and followed (in about 1 hour) by vomiting, then by diarrhea.  This lasts anywhere from 2-10 hours.  I have some very quick-acting medicine for under my tongue (3-5 minutes) which, if I get it in time, can slow or stop the nausea and prevent (hopefully) the vomiting.  I am told not to stop the diarrhea because the bad food needs to get out of my system and that’s the safest and quickest way.  I am getting better at doing things to help prevent or limit the occurrences of Gastro Paresis.  I have been told there is no cure, though sometimes it stops altogether.  I can help by:

  1. limiting my protein intake
  2. limiting my sugar intake
  3. limiting my fiber intake
  4. eating smaller meals
  5. drinking an increased (much) amount of liquids

All of the above keep your stomach emptier and allow it to flow better so it stays empty and food won’t spoil.  It has helped greatly.  I spent, literally, years eating much protein and fiber to help my diabetes, so 1 and 3 have been a big change.

I am now on insulin.  We don’t have the dosage exactly right yet, so it goes back an forth on readings.  However, we are getting there.

The good news is that since the stroke retired me (disability) at 51, I am home and can treat it the way it needs treated.  Being single has helped also.  I have a Mother who is getting older and needs my help and I have good friends, my blog, my Word with Friend games, my fiverr writing, my Amazon for the local library, and my video games to keep me occupied and happy.  Yes, yes, I have my cat, too.  She is a toss up as I wouldn’t want to do without her, but she, frequently, gets on my nerves. lol.

The Gastro Paresis has one advantage.  Eating less and having much less choices (say no ice cream or chocolate) has led to a loss of 23 pounds since April, most of it this May-August. It is a bad way to loss weight, right up there with, well, throwing up intentionally.  However, I am working to stop it and keep the pounds off as well.

The Gastro Paresis is not deadly at this stage.  The biggest problem is dehydration.  I had a few bouts in which I could not keep any liquids down for over 6-8 hours and had thrown all mine up, so I had to go to the ER for saline solution in my arm.

Thank you to all who know, who care, who now understand better.  You are all loved.  I am, often, amazed at how many wonderful friends I have here.  It is something I don’t mind being surprised at.

Namaste,

Scott

 

The “News”

I was standing in line at our grocery several weeks ago.  I don’t go through the regular lines often as I enjoy the diy self-checking lines as much or more.  But, late and too many items, I decided I wouldn’t deal with the auto-voiced machine that tells me way too often to “remove your items” when I am loading them as fast as I can.

While I am standing in line I notice the last-second sale items and candy and magazines that stores place in the checkout area so you can impulse-buy to your heart’s content.  And what should I see? —>

 

I became entranced with several things.  First, was the variety of Gift Cards you can buy.  I mean, all types of stores and restaurants and online places were offered.  I had someone tell me once, “Just give money.”  My opinion on that hasn’t changed much.  If I don’t want the temptation to be to put the money on bills and/or necessities (which I went through time and again), then I figure out what they like and go for that.  Amazon has been a recent catch-all as they can get needed supplies, books, or go for that special something they wouldn’t normally get.

But, apart from the towering selection of forced buys, I saw the “News”.  I mean the magazines that offer everything from latest diets dos and don’ts to who got fired/rehired on the soaps and sitcoms.  People amaze me at times where they will spend their money.  I sell older magazines I have purchased on Amazon.  People who live in New York will, often, spend $7-$15 on a single issue of a magazine that is only a few months old.  I have concluded the cost of them in NY must be high enough that $7-$15 is a decent price.  I usually sell them still in the plastic.  I took the magazines at a very reduced  price when I was teaching as educational aides.  After my stroke, I still got the magazines for a few years, so…

But the magazines on dieting and movie stars (especially soaps) just floor me.  I have gone on and read about diets for a long time, but I use the Internet (no charge).  Most of them don’t work and may even be bad for you.  I have read and become quite the sage of diets.  As for the soaps, I used to watch several and enjoyed them, but to read about the stars and their doings and undoings?  Nope, not me, not much, anyway.

Back when info was slow coming and only on TV (4 channels) and magazines, I did my share of buying a few (not many as $0.25 a weeks only bought 2 comics at $0.12 apiece plus tax and I loved my comics).  Now, with the Internet and instantaneous news, why bother with print?

The biggest thing repeated over and over was the new royal baby.  Why do we, here in America, still love the royalty and their offspring?  Not that our own ruling body doesn’t have its own fair share of news, but that is … different.

And, then you have the “crap” mags that have those stories that are “based” (what a word) on truth…the merest shred of honesty lies at the bottom of some of the most stellar stories on these pages.  “Alien baby grows up in the Heartland” turns out to be about a Mexican child who moved to Indianapolis after finishing High School.  My daughter and I used to get one of these issues and pick apart the stories.  I would ask her (all 3-6 years old) what she thought after I read a short article and she would tell me why she thought it might not be true.  Is it any wonder she grew up to be a psychologist who loves watching TV shows like “Criminal Minds”?  She is analytical and thoughtful.

I was only in line a few minutes and snapped the pictures to remind me to write this post.  Still, people amaze me and I think someone should write about that…oh, forgot there’s YouTube,

Namaste,

Scott

I sit here in my shorts, sans top, sans socks, and stare at my computer.  Fresh from the shower, I decided THIS might be the best time. I have said this several times in the last few weeks.  I wrote my last post here a few days shy of Memorial Day this year.  After reading several other bloggers talking about the holiday, I decided to let my own self out for a walk.  Last year marked the first Memorial Day since Dad’s death that previous July.  This year marks the first Memorial Day with Sis gone AND Dad gone.  I admit it has been hard for me.  But, I cannot imagine how hard it is for Mom.  This is not what I sat down to write, but … here it is. As my friend says, “It is what it is.”

I don’t want sadness or pity or anger or whatever else you think is in me relieved.  I am okay with their deaths, not the best timing for Mom and I, but we really can’t say that for many years to come.  But, there are things that CAN be said.

One is that I am now much more alone than I was.  No Dad, no Sis, no girlfriend, my daughter is very busy at a wonderful job, and my son is in Oregon also with a good job.  I not only don’t blame those last two, I am happy for them.  Truth is I have always been a loner. It has seldom bothered me to be by myself; I don’t get lonesome.  And now, now with the Internet and all, I have little reason to ever be lonely or alone.  I am a blogger, have many blogger friends, some of whom I consider VERY GOOD friends.  I do see good friends here, too.  One buddy from high school, one person who is now a friend who took over the job when I left the courthouse years ago and was introduced by my boss there, is also a good friend as is the boss.  I email, chat, phone, write, meet.  In essence, I do all you can do to not be alone, not be lonely.  But, having half your family gone is rough whether you spent a lot of time with them or not.  I am only glad that I was in a good place with both of them when it happened.

Mom and I now see or, at least, talk daily.  We go out to eat, visit doctors, stylists, get groceries, and discuss things.  We try not to get caught up in picking on each other or driving each other crazy by suggesting the other one do things…but it happens.  I want her to get a problem checked out; she wants me to do such and such.  Yeah, it happens.  But, each night we part or hang up saying, “I love you” and “See or talk to you tomorrow.”  Both of us are smart enough to know that the last statement won’t be true someday.  There will come that time when… But, it isn’t right now, so we say it.

This was nothing like I intended to do for a post…but “it is what it is.”

And what is it?  In my new life philosophy, “Perfect”. All things are because they all work out in the end and helped to make that end happen.

There’s one to “put in your pipe and smoke it.”  Wonder where and why that one came about?  Could google it, but that is, already, becoming/become one itself…

“Google it!” or “I don’t have time to Google an answer.”

But, if you did…

Namaste,

Scott

Memorial and Beyond

I have never really spent much of a Memorial Day at the cemetery.  That’s not to say I don’t remember my family and friends no longer physically with us; I just don’t.

Yesterday was different.  Yesterday many things happened.  I was in the hospital Thursday evening into the wee hours (6p-5a) of Friday morning.  I slept most of Friday and was careful the rest of the day with whatever went into my stomach.  But, Saturday I went to a movie with a good friend, ate at my beloved Cracker Barrel (carefully), and stopped by Mom’s to check on her.  I intended to only stay a bit, but she and I started talking and, before we knew it, we were at the cemetery taking care of Sis, Dad, Mom’s parents and my Great Aunt and Uncle. All were lain straight in a row. We put up flags and such.  It became a part of the rest of the cemetery, all alight with the best plastic flowers, cloth flags, and  even some metal pots of memorial bouquets.  The once-solemn and mostly green plots lit up with brightness, sending joy to those empty bones lying below, but also being noticed by their souls surrounding all of us.  It was nice.  I took a moment and remembered.  I will try to remember it next year as well.  In fact, perhaps, more often when I feel the need for nonjudgmental company.

Speaking of judgments, I have to mention that very early today (Sunday) I received notice that a short story I wrote for a person on fiverr.com was accepted for publication. No money involved, just a complimentary issue, but published nonetheless. It has been a memorable weekend.

Namaste,

Scott

Well, What After “Endgame”?

Last week, in a theater of only about 7 people (because we went on a Thursday afternoon around 3pm), a friend and I watched Marvel’s “Endgame”.  There will be no real spoilers in this one.  I don’t like that so there. 🙂

Okay, so for the review without spoilers.  It was a good movie.  I give it a high B+ into the A- territory, so if you haven’t seen it, you should. Hey, watch “Infinity Wars” first or you won’t know what is going on.  The acting was good to very good, the plot was really good, the cgi was excellent, the only thing I thought it lacked was just little things here and there.  I am not even going to tell you those things because they were just for me.  I didn’t like this or that, the way this was handled or that…..ad nausuem as they say.  You may like all those things and hate others or love it all or wonder what the big hype was about.

One thing it did have in abundance was heart.  This movie was a “feel” movie; it was not always a “feel good” one, but it did have your emotions going.  It had surprises and twists and turns (always good for me).

So, what now? What do you do after watching “Endgame”?  What to do after what some called the best movie ever!?  Well, that was easy for me.  I went back to the hometown area, ate at Cracker Barrel, then, along with my friend, went home and watched 2 more episodes of “Penny Dreadful” (Excellent series, btw).   Then after he left, I sat down for about 3 hours of “Fallout 76”.  So my answer is, “My life went back to normal.”  Well, normal for me, anyway.  I have several more movies lined up for summer watching, several series to start and/or continue watching, more levels to move on Fallout 76 (right now I am at level 80), and a house to clean as well as writing that needs to continue to be done.

My point here is that a movie, no matter how good it is,  should not stop your life.  You shouldn’t curl up in a ball and be sad it’s over.  I remember when the original “Star Wars” came out.  My buddies and I watched it 3 times the first week.  I watched it a couple more later and watched it on tape a few times.  Really excellent for the time.  “Endgame” did put that to shame (bigger budget and more technology and hyped), but still, just go on with your life.  At least, that’s  my humble opinion, such as it is.

So, what will you do after “Endgame”?  I know not everyone will even watch it, so, what do you do after your big thing, whether it’s a vacation, award, big presentation….?

Namaste,

Scott

 

Encounter Soul

Thoughts on this crazy ride called Life

SV3DPRINTER

The future of humanity with science and technology research based on 3D, 4D, and 5D Printing. With sv3dprinter.com, small businesses can thrive:)

MiddleMe

Becoming Unstuck

Top Education Hub

Education is key if it's success you wish to see!

Journey to life

Ramblings along my journey, from suicidality, to, I hope, life

Middle Age Mulligan Addict

Playing golf can be an adventure, especially with skills like mine. Or lack thereof ...

Song of the Heart

Life is an interesting journey. These are journals, stories, reflections of a traveller of this journey. (songoftheheartsite@gmail.com)

TegloGoes...

There is always a story involved.

%d bloggers like this: