Well, this has turned out to be a scary week at the end (beginning, too, since today is Sunday). I have spoken many times of my stroke and of the good and bad things that seemed to have come of it. I still believe it is more of a Godsend than anything else. There are simply too many joys to be happy about than bad things to worry about.
However, here is a small worry (bigger if you are me). I last posted on Thursday. I don’t remember (could look, I guess) whether I did it Wednesday night and posted Thursday or did it Thursday and posted then. Regardless, several things have happened since then to worry me a bit.
First off, in checking my email on Saturday, I was surprised to find over 300 emails waiting for me. Now, depending on the time of day, I can have a bit over 200, normally about 180. These are mostly posts from all the blogs I follow. I select and choose and delete down to a decent number each day. It’s a schedule and I like it. However, having 300+ emails means I missed a day, possibly two.
When I say “missed”, I mean “lost”. See, I compress (for want of a better word) time since the stroke. This means that I have time pass (sometimes days) and I may not think about it having passed. However, usually, I can, at least, remember the days. I remember thinking “It’s Thursday”,”It’s Friday” and “It’s Saturday”, however, what I did is a bit fuzzy (esp. Friday) and, apparently, I didn’t check my email on either Thursday, Friday, or both. Thursday is the most lost in my mind, Friday right behind. That makes sense, but worries me. Normally, I can think back and put it together; this time I simply can’t without looking at other things like receipts or talking to people.
This isn’t Alzheimer or some such. I really don’t think I am getting worse. I did not sleep well on Thursday or Friday. That really tends to mess with my mind. I was told that lack of sleep will intensify some of my problems, memory being one.
The real problem is the entire thing simply unnerves me a bit. I check my email every day with enthusiasm. I have reminders to do these tasks and I have a set morning routine. I remember vaguely upsetting this routine, not with emails, but something else I normally check. I suppose this could have led to the downfall of my schedule and the reasons I “lost time”.
Anyway, does anyone out there have these types of problems? How do you cope? How do you handle it once it happens?