Just a Touch of … Fear?

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Well, this has turned out to be a scary week at the end (beginning, too, since today is Sunday).  I have spoken many times of my stroke and of the good and bad things that seemed to have come of it.  I still believe it is more of a Godsend than anything else.  There are simply too many joys to be happy about than bad things to worry about.

However, here is a small worry (bigger if you are me).  I last posted on Thursday.  I don’t remember  (could look, I guess) whether I did it Wednesday night and posted Thursday or did it Thursday and posted then.  Regardless, several things have happened since then to worry me a bit.

First off, in checking my email on Saturday, I was surprised to find over 300 emails waiting for me.  Now, depending on the time of day, I can have a bit over 200, normally about 180.  These are mostly posts from all the blogs I follow.  I select and choose and delete down to a decent number each day.  It’s a schedule and I like it.  However, having 300+ emails means I missed a day, possibly two.

When I say “missed”, I mean “lost”.   See, I compress (for want of a better word) time since the stroke.  This means that I have time pass (sometimes days) and I may not think about it having passed.  However, usually, I can, at least, remember the days.  I remember thinking “It’s Thursday”,”It’s Friday” and “It’s Saturday”, however, what I did is a bit fuzzy (esp. Friday) and, apparently, I didn’t check my email on either Thursday, Friday, or both.  Thursday is the most lost in my mind, Friday right behind. That makes sense, but worries me.  Normally, I can think back and put it together; this time I simply can’t without looking at other things like receipts or talking to people.

This isn’t Alzheimer or some such.  I really don’t think I am getting worse.  I did not sleep well on Thursday or Friday.  That really tends to mess with my mind.  I was told that lack of sleep will intensify some of my problems, memory being one.

The real problem is the entire thing simply unnerves me a bit.  I check my email every day with enthusiasm.  I have reminders to do these tasks and I have a set morning routine.  I remember vaguely upsetting this routine, not with emails, but something else I normally check.  I suppose this could have led to the downfall of my schedule and the reasons I “lost time”.

Anyway, does anyone out there have these types of problems?  How do you cope?  How do you handle it once it happens?



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  • Andrea Stephenson  On July 5, 2015 at 5:22 pm

    You seem to copy admirably well Scott, so I hope that the occasional bit of lost time doesn’t worry you too much.

    Liked by 1 person

    • kindredspirit23  On July 5, 2015 at 10:24 pm

      Not overly so. It is something I have to put up with and to deal with. I think I do both fairly well. Thank you so much for your concern.

      Liked by 1 person

  • mike7sedona  On June 28, 2015 at 1:54 pm

    Going by your explanation, your condition has got nothing to with AD, and the difficulties you have encountered with your memory is all due to lack of sleep. For heaven’s sake, go to bed early and sleep well, and if you continue to sleep really well, all these issues will be a thing of the past – Good night, sleep tight!

    Liked by 3 people

    • kindredspirit23  On June 30, 2015 at 10:29 am

      Doesn’t matter what time I go to sleep, I don’t sleep long or well.
      The stroke specialist tells me that strokes often mess up sleep patterns.
      Yes, the lack of sleep does effect the memory, but my stroke has affected it too.
      Thanks for the encouragement, I am learning to deal.

      Liked by 1 person

      • mike7sedona  On June 30, 2015 at 11:27 am

        On the other hand, it is opined that repeated fragmentation of sleep pattern itself may affect sleep quality and may lead to the development of heart disease and stroke. Of course, Obstructive sleep apnea also stands blamed for irregular sleep after stroke affecting memory. Please do take care and always keep in touch with your Cardiologist.

        Liked by 1 person

        • kindredspirit23  On July 1, 2015 at 11:34 pm

          My cardiologist has told me that I am fine in that department. i sleep, eventually. It is usually fragmented, but I seem to enter REM sleep much sooner, dreaming in as little as 5-10 minutes. I will crash every so often and sleep 3-5 hours straight. I do keep in touch with my doctors. Thanks for your concern.

          Liked by 1 person

        • mike7sedona  On July 2, 2015 at 1:37 pm

          When one is young, an apple a day keeps the doctor away and in oldage daily contact with the doctor keeps the disease at bay.

          Liked by 1 person

  • Thumbup  On June 28, 2015 at 12:57 pm

    Happens to me too sometimes.
    I go, Oh, where was I? Then, well, whatever.

    Liked by 1 person

  • rogershipp  On June 28, 2015 at 12:27 pm

    I sit at the computer – off and on- about five times a day. Three in the morning,,, two at evening. I try to do the corresponding emails in set of fifteen. That will usually get them all done. I have several blogs of just pictures. They don;t count int eh 15. I take a gander at the pictures and respond with a like or a set of words if I have one i particularly like. The reading blogs… I sift the first four or five lines. Then respond. If I like the lines… I respond more with a read. There are several people’s blogs that I read all of them.they read all of mine. Only fair.
    But if I get really far behind… I just slowly catch up. There really is no hurry… no pressure. It’s a blog.
    I had very busy days at the closing of school and I had over 900+ blogs to respond to. It took a week… but it was OK.

    Liked by 2 people

    • kindredspirit23  On June 28, 2015 at 10:40 pm

      I am not certain I could keep up with all those as patiently and consistently as you. Bravo! As long as you enjoy doing it, wonderful. I narrow down as often as I can. I try to catch all the ones I like at least once a week.

      Liked by 1 person

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